According to CNN, “Bush apparently leads Kerry in pre-debate poll.” … Apparently? As in 53 is apparently greater than 42?! Golly, with such well founded mathematic principals, it’s no wonder they’re the leader in left-wing balanced news coverage.

The article also says:

“Headed into their first face-to-face debate, President Bush appears to be leading Democratic Sen. John Kerry among likely voters, with a clearer edge among registered voters.”

OH! So you’re saying that non-registered voters are not quite as fond of Bush. WHO CARES!! Non-registered voters DON’t COUNT!!

By the way, the difference in percentage between the two polls “likely voters” and “registered voters” is less than the margin of error in the poll. Yaaay math!

Okay, quick. Look at the time and date on this post. I want it to be very clear that I am psychic!!

It’s Tuesday, September 28th, and I’m saying this now, not later when it actually happens.

Utilizing my cosmic, mystical, ethereal powers of seeing into the future, I am about to give you glimpse into the “yet-to-be”. Ready?

In the next 30 days, major media outlets will “marvel” at John Kerry’s “resurgence” in the “polls”. They will credit his “debate skills” and the fact that he is “winning over” Americans with his “firm stand” on Iraq and the economy.

It will happen. Also, everything that appears in quotation marks above will be entirely false and misleading.

The great OZ has spoken!

It’s a well established fact that John Kerry isn’t very good at making up his mind on an issue. But it turns out it’s not his fault.

I ran across a great article that chronicles John Kerry’s pattern of blaming others for his gaffes and mistakes. It also gives several examples of his wife doing the same thing. I recommend you read the whole article, but here’s a few clips.

A speechwriter was blamed for using the term “Benedict Arnold Companies” even though Kerry used the phrase 746 times.
A train conductor was blamed when the train failed to stop in Lawrence, Kansas for a scheduled rally.
A Secret Service agent was to blame (and called a “son of a bitch”) when John Kerry fell while skiing in Idaho.