Hey Inter-Tubes!! Can you believe old Trint is still alive?! (Yeah, me neither.)

It’s that time of year again and I haven’t done this in a while, so let’s dive right in and see just how old we all really feel.

This week a brand new crop of high school seniors are planning proms and applying for next year’s financial aide. Let’s see what else is true about them.

This year’s high school seniors were born in 1999, the same year that these movies were released:

Fight Club
American Pie
The Matrix (Yes, the first one!)
Star Wars: Phantom Menace (Yes, the one that most of us choose to pretend doesn’t exist.)

The following TV shows were cancelled before these kids were born:

Beverly Hills 90210 (1999)
The Animaniacs (1998)
Bill Nye the Science Guy (1998)
Seinfeld (1998)

These kids have never…

Used a VCR to record TV. (The TiVo DVR was released in 1999.)
Had to use a floppy disk, even the non-floppy 3.5″. (USB Drives became available in 2000.)
Had to carry around CDs to listen to music. (The iPod debuted in 2001.)
Needed to plug in to something to get internet. (WiFi became a thing when they were 4 years old, in 2003.)

For their entire lives…

Texting from a cell phone has been possible. (1995)
Movies have been available on DVD. (1995)
Michael Jordan has been a “former” NBA player. (1999… the second time.)
John Elway has been a Super Bowl MVP (1999)
Viagra has been making uncomfortable commercials. (1998)

If you don’t feel old after reading all that… get off my lawn and turn that racket down!! Ya dern kids.

DJ Flula is a German musician and YouTuber living in America. He has a heck of a time dealing with American idioms. And the results are hilarious!

His “AutTunes” are also real gems and showcase his real talent.

The Slow and the Irritated
Olympus Might Fall
The Okay Gatsby
Afternoon of the Living Dead
The Supper Club
Drafting Private Ryan
Snakes Near An Airport
A Larva’s Life
The Princess Girlfriend
Bill & Ted’s Uneventful Middle School
Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along LiveJournal
Willy Wonka & The Small Business Loan
The Lion, the Witch and the Trip to Ikea
The “Meh, I Could Eat” Games
Planet of the Humans
Batman: The Double Funeral
Indiana Jones and the Penultimate Crusade
The Moderately Fast and the Not Feeling Well At All
Harry Potter and the 11 Years of Child Abuse
Stands Awkwardly on the Edge of the Dance Floor with Wolves
Star Disagreements

Holycowlitosis – n. Breath so foul that bovine methane release seems a comparatively pleasant alternative.

Saw this on quickmeme today. I LOLed.

Are birds really singing? Or are they screaming because they’re afraid of heights?

Today’s white board quip comes from that wealth of wisdom and humor, Dilbert. I can’t tell you how many conversations I’ve had that could best have been ended with this statement.

Is it ok if I just stare at you in disbelief?
– Dilbert

It’s that time of year again. School is in full swing and cops are dolling out expensive school zone tickets.

This year’s high school seniors were born in 1994. If you an old man like me, that is a jarring statement. Let’s put that in perspective, shall we?

This year’s high school seniors were born the same year that these movies were released:

Pulp Fiction
Speed
Forest Gump
Dumb and Dumber
Lion King

The following TV shows were cancelled before these kids were born:

The Cosby Show (1992)
The Wonder Years (1993)
Saved By the Bell (1993)
Star Trek TNG (1994)

These kids have never…

“Rolled down” a car window.
“Dialed” a rotary phone. (For that matter, phones have not required a cord in their life time.)
Used a library card catalog (with actual cards).
Used an answering machine with a cassette tape inside.
Listened to a cassette tape.
Heard Ed McMahon say, “Heeeeeere’s Johnny!”

For their entire lives…

The Hummer has been available to civilians.
Wal-Mart has always had Super Centers offering groceries.
Blue Man Group has always been doing weird things with plumbing.
Food has always been packaged with “Nutritional Information.”
The term “school shooting” has always been a part of the American vernacular.
The internet has been widely available, but they’ve never heard a modem dial up.

If you don’t feel old after reading all that… get off my lawn and turn that racket down!! Ya dern kids.

I don’t think anyone can really wrap their brain around the scale of one trillion anything. But, I think it’s important that we give it a try, especially in light of the scale of our government’s budget.

Check out this site. Remember: The U.S. deficit is currently over $14 trillion and we just raised the limit to almost $17 trillion.

The federal budget is roughly $1.7 trillion in the red every year. Keep in mind, the Democratic congress has failed to pass a new budget in the last two years, so they broke the law two years in a row. What that means is that the government is spending whatever it thinks it needs without anyone telling them they’re over budget.

US debt problem visualized.

Here’s a hint:

The next time someone asks me how I’m feeling, I’m totally using this!

They took my mood ring! I don’t know how I feel about that.
-Tracy Jordan (30 Rock)

For some reason, I tend to view the world through complex metaphors. Remember back when I compared the three most popular operating systems with cars? Yeah. That was great.

…

Oh, right. Sorry. I got lost in the glow of my own cleverness for a second there. Aaaanyway. Another, similar analogy occurred to me a while back.

You know how uptight I can get about language. And you know I have no love lost on Microsoft. It occurred to me that my angst for both has the same root cause.

Yes, the English Language is just like Microsoft. I shall elaborate.

For the world of computers to really work, you must have some kind of standards. Hardware and software engineers must come together and agree on some basic rules in order for things to work. If I’m designing a PC, I need to know for certain how the operating system is going to use my memory and processor. If I’m designing an operating system, I have to know for certain how the memory and processor work. If I’m going to create a web browser, like Firefox or Chrome, I must know for certain how the HTML or Flash or image should look when I display it.

The only way to know these things for certain is if the parties involved get together and decide on some rules. We call these “standards” and we call stuff that follows said standards “standard compliant.”

Naturally, Microsoft is involved in almost every standard debate that comes along. They stand right there with everyone else and nod happily. “Yes! We wholeheartedly agree! The HTML box model should work just like you said.” “Oh, yes. Cascading Style Sheets should be handled exactly like that. Mm hmm!”

But then, a few months later, without fail, Microsoft releases some massive software package that ignores, or worse, “improves upon” the standard they just agreed to! AACK!!

Now, I know what you’re thinking. “Hey, smarty pants, you just ended that sentence with a preposition!” Well, bully for you. I sure did. But, that’s because I’m using English and English, just like Microsoft, loves to make rules that everyone accepts as gospel, and them break them for no particular reason at all!

We all learned in school that you shouldn’t end with a preposition. But, as it turns out, that rule is bunk! And don’t even get me started on “i before e.” Someone really should rein in that weird rule!

When I met a group of Europeans from various countries, I asked them what language should I learn if I plan to visit. What language do most people speak across Europe? French? German? Spanish? Nope. They agreed. It’s English. So, just like Microsoft, English is slowly taking over the world, with it’s rules all meant to be broken. AACK!!