Monk-ish – adv. 1. Has obsessive-compulsive thoughts, tendencies or behaviors. 2. Of, or relating to, or characteristic of Adrian Monk.

Monk is my second favorite show on TV (right behind Mythbusters). Tony Shalhoub brilliantly portrays Adrian Monk, a former police detective who lost his job due to his debilitating obsessive-compulsive disorder but who still consults with the police to solve murders.

What I love so much about Monk is that I get to laugh at some of the traits I have. Actually, my co-worker, Dave, and I both have some pretty serious Monk-ish qualities. The invention of alcohol hand sanitizer (such as Purell) has made my personal distaste for germiness even worse. (*snap snap* Wipe! I need a wipe!) It has become a running joke at home and at work. Much like “geek”, “monk” has gone from an insult to an accepted (even enjoyed) label.

Naturally, anything that I really enjoy eventually becomes an internet quiz. Check out “Are you Monk-ish?”

I’m more than most.

…is brought to you by the letters Q and S and the number 3.

And now, Jedi Squirrels.

I loved the Animaniacs. I most miss Pinky and The Brain. But this week’s WBQotW is not from Pinky and The Brain. It is Wakko Warners famous epiphany…

I’m not wearing any pants!

God has graced us with yet another reason to pray for the San Andres fault to open up and swallow Hollywood.

This weekend two movies opened in box offices across the country. One was an age old story of childhood adventure from the pages of the greatest Christian allegory ever written. The other film has been so hyped by Hollywood elitists that they’ve already had the Oscars and Golden Globes engraved. It is the heart worming (sic) tale of lust between two queer cowboys. *sigh*

“The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe” is a beautifully rendered epic of nearly the same quality as the Lord of the Rings series. Tammy and I saw “Narnia” and my review is forthcoming. While there is no direct reference to Christianity in the movie, any Christian (or any non-Christian who knows anything about the Bible) should be able to easily see through the allegorical veil of this C.S. Lewis’ classic. It is because of this Biblical foundation (and the fact that LOTR has raised the bar so high for fantasy films) that film industry elitists have written off Narnia. No one in Hollywood expected it do much more than cover costs.

On the other hand, Hollywood was rolling out the red carpet for “Brokeback Mountain” before the ink was dry on the script. Entertainment rags, such as Varity, have been hyping the snot out of this film as the first “mainstream” success of a gay script. The tag line for the movie is “Love is a force of nature”. Yeah, well, so is explosive diarrhea, but that doesn’t make it something I want to see, much less embrace. Among others, USA Today ran a shameless plug article for Brokeback saying, “The film might find its place in history as a cultural landmark.” *hurk* Sorry, just typing that caused a little vomit to come up on me.

Now comes the refreshing part. Narnia just finished its second weekend of release and has grossed over $112 million. It released at number one and this week is number two behind the much anticipated Peter Jackson flick, King Kong.

The other film is in its second weekend of release (the first weekend was a limited release in only three theaters in liberal save havens of NY, LA, and SF). The gay cowboy show has now pocketed a whopping $3 million. That’s less than 3% of the box office Narnia is enjoying. Let’s hope the trend continues.

Now, I have no false hope for Hollywood. There is no question that the award shows will shower Brokeback with praise and adoration regardless of its financial (non)showing. But we can still hope that the movie execs that are the driving force behind what Hollywood makes will do as they are want to do and follow the almighty dollar. As much as the coastal media liberals want it to be mainstream and accepted, homosexuality remains a sin in the eyes of America and Americans will put their money where their mouth is.

Amen.

A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, “Excuse me,
can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”

The woman below replied, “You’re in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You’re between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude.”

“You must be in Information Technology,” said the exasperated balloonist.

“I am,” replied the woman, “How did you know?”

“Well,” answered the balloonist, “everything you told me is, technically correct, but I’ve no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I’m still lost. Frankly, you’ve not been much help at all. If anything, you’ve delayed my trip.”

The woman below responded, “You must be in Management.”

“I am,” replied the balloonist, “but how did you know?”

“Well,” said the woman, “you don’t know where you are or where you’re going. You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise, which you’ve no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it’s my fault.

(Shamelessly stolen from Veni Vidi Vici.)

I get a lot of people (ok…two) asking me what I want for Christmas. My standard answer for the last couple of years has been, “Nuthin”. So far this has caused more consternation than I had hoped. So I feel I need to explain.

Tammy and I went through some really hard times back around 2001. I got laid off after the tech industry crash. Then I got laid off again after 9/11. That’s two layoffs in one year. After the second layoff, I went without a job for about three months. When the savings were gone and the credit cards maxed, we were forced to move to my parent’s ranch in La Grange, Texas.

All that is to say that (while I’ve never gone hungry) I do know what it is like to want, to need, to go without. But in the last two years, God has blessed us beyond our expectations. We both have stable, good-paying jobs. We live in a really nice apartment. We’ve been able to buy just about all the “toys” we want (within reason) and we are well on track to paying off our debt. We’re not zillionaires, but we are richly blessed.

Most importantly, God has taught me what it means to be content in any circumstance. I have come to understand that “things” are not the spice of life. If anything, worldly possessions tend to weigh you down. I sometimes feel guilty when I see something I spent good money on and I know I haven’t used it in months: DVDs I never watch, PC games I never play, gadgets and goodies I “had to have” but now that I have them, they just collect dust.

I find myself in the enviable position of having more stuff than I need. So when I am asked what I want for Christmas, I can honestly say, “Nothing.” Still, I know that there are some folks out there whose love language is gift giving… *cough*Nicolle*cough* …and for the sake of those who feel they simply must give me a gift, I have come up with a solution.

Rather than contributing to my storage closet, contribute to a worthy cause. Make donation on my behalf to The Gladney Fund. The Gladney Center offers loads of adoption services and they provide counseling, medical assistance and even housing to young women with crisis pregnancies. It’s a solid, reputable organization. You can make a donation online and even send a letter to me letting me know about it.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a remote controlled car that I haven’t spent quality time with in over a year!

Merry Christmas!!

If you can read the title of this post, you will probably appreciate this week’s WBQotW. It’s another dose of ThinkGeek techno-attitude. As a matter of fact, one of my co-workers is wearing this shirt today! What a coinky-dink.

Go away or I will replace you with a very small shell script.

…will eventually be outlawed.

I recently posted (and am hosting) the friggin’ awesome Christmas light display that’s making the internet rounds. Thanks to the the good folks on Power FM‘s morning show (Thanks Dawn!) I have found a news article about the rawk-us display.

Carson Williams, a father of two near Cincinnati, spent two months stringing up the 25,000 lights ( ) which are controlled by a computer. The sound track for the display is broadcast on an FM frequency by the same computer, so folks driving by can listen in. (Thank goodness. I was afraid it was blaring over a loud speaker!)

Amazingly, Williams’ neighbors supported the project. Sadly though, it was too much of a good thing. Traffic coming to see the show overwhelmed the neighborhood and last week, after a small fender bender occurred, Williams agreed to end the display.

Read the complete story on The Cincinnati Enquirer.

Congratulations to Surely You’re Not Serious for not being nominated for the 2005 Weblog Awards. Not only was I graciously not nominated, but none of the blogs I frequently read made the list.

Actually, one of the blogs I read DID get a nod: Michael Yon, the self-described non-journalist reporting from Iraq, is in the running for Best Media/Journalist Blog.

You can vote once a day every day until the contest ends. And remember kids: Don’t take democracy for granted. You have no right to complain about the blogosphere if you don’t vote!

Googly-moogly, it’s been over two weeks since my last white board quip. Shame on me.

WBQotW #47 is from a shirt on ThinkGeek.com. If you don’t know what this means, then you don’t have a clue. *wink*

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