I don’t like to bring sad news to my blog. It is, in its very nature, a place to laugh, but I don’t feel much like laughing today.
Last night, we got a phone call that we’d been expecting. One of our “kids”, Rachel, called to let us know her dad went home. He was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor a month or so ago. Rachel, an 8th grader in our youth group, lives with her mom, but was very close to her dad. She’s been dealing with depression, frustration, and anger (as anyone would) since the diagnosis and Tammy and I have done all we could to love and encourage her and her mom.
Just past midnight, we headed over to Rachel’s grandmother’s house where he had been living under hospice care. We hung out until about 3 AM when the mortuary folks came and took his body.
Tammy’s never experienced death up close. It’s probably the topic she’s most uncomfortable with and I was curious to see how she would handle the situation. She was perfect.
I firmly believe that God uses bad situations to accomplish good things. I think that last night was the best possible way to expose Tammy to this part of life. Since she was not related to the person who died (in fact, we never even met the guy) she didn’t have to deal with her own feelings of loss. Instead she was able to focus her energy on loving those who were hurting. She was exposed to the experience without having to experience it. I’m confident that this will give her what she needs to deal with the experience herself down the road.
It’s funny how our culture has such a hard time with death. I’ve seen cemeteries in Europe where people sit and eat lunch among the tombs as they would in a city park. In some cultures, funerals are celebrations of either a life well lived or a passage into a better existence than ours. In some cultures (sadly), death is praised as an admirable service to god and country, a tool of war.
But here, we avoid it at all costs. We shutter when we drive by a cemetery. We spend most of our life, and a good chunk of our income, trying to cheat death, trying to stay young, anything to keep us from the thought that we will ever die. Why is that?
Personally, I prefer the teachings of Paul: “For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.” I don’t look forward to the process of dying. I know that there are folks who will be very sad when I’m gone. But ultimately, I know that death will be a victory. I know that when I leave this body, I will stand in the presence of God, full of praise and joy that will never end. If you don’t have that same knowledge, I would love to share it with you.
