Hey, pal, do you have any idea who I think I am?

Yeah. I think I met that guy.

I have had an epiphany.

There is this thing I heard about that I think could well change my life. It’s called “priorizisition” or something like that. Basically it means, “Do important stuff and don’t do unimportant stuff.” It’s pretty ground breaking and, I think if this catches on, the world could really be a better place.

The epiphany is this: I can get things done that are actually beneficial and and productive and can improve my life and the lives around me. But to do so, I must stop doing the unimportant, meaningless, and time-consuming things that fill my life now. I do not have to watch every sci-fi or comedy movie franchise or TV series, in order of release, just because NetFlix recommends it to me. (Take that “Strong Bad’s Emails: Discs 1 -4!”) I do not have to eat every SweeTart in the movie-theater-sized box that I bought (just because it was on sale), carefully choosing the color I eat to maintain an equal color ratio among the remaining pieces. I do not have to listen to the songs in my iTunes playlist sorted by number of plays so that no song feels superior to the others and no song feels left out.

Shocking, I know!

I just finished pruning my NetFlix queue from 498 down to 336. I feel so free! Inspired!! I also deleted the spreadsheet where I tracked the episodes of “Sliders” that had and had not seen. (I still have the spreadsheets for “King of the Hill” and “Big Bang Theory.” Baby steps, you know? [And, yes, I am serious. These spreadsheets actually exist.])

So anyway. Now, all I have to do to turn my life around and change the world is overcome my overwhelming compulsions to do all these pointless things and to somehow replace them with overwhelming compulsions to do productive things like teaching myself Ruby on Rails (It’s a computer programming language, Dad. Yes, like the punch cards you used in college, except it’s for the inter-webs.) And finishing my curriculum on Revelation so I can actually teach it to people who want to understand Revelation. And getting my lawn to have green grass and dead weeds instead of the other way around. Cuz that right there would make the world a better place, I tell you whut!