Q: What did the farmer say when he lost is tractor?

A: Where the heck is my tractor?!

(This one’s for you, Dad.)

Q: Where can you find a turtle with no legs?

A: Exactly where you left it.

Q: What did the duck do when she couldn’t pay for her lipstick?

A: She just put it on her bill.

Did you hear the one about the jump rope?

Nah. I’ll skip that one.

Did you hear about the cow that tried to jump over the barbed-wire fence?

It was udder destruction!

Q: How do you carve a big piece of wood?

A: Whittle by whittle.

Q: How does the man in the moon cut his hair?

A: Eclipse it.

Q: How did Hitler tie his shoes?

A: With Nazis.

Q: Where did Hitler keep his armies?

A: In his sleevies.

Q: What kind of music do chiropractors listen to?

A: Hip-pop.