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The Predation of Innocence

[WARNING: Serious post]

MissingMany of my chi’ren* are “missing” from social media today to recognize the multitudes who are missing because they have been stolen from their families and sold into slavery.

Yes, I’m being completely serious. Slavery. It’s real and it’s all around you.

Today, Drudge linked to this article on CNN Money: “Pimps hit social networks to recruit underage sex workers.”

Of course, to be clear, “recruit” here should actually be “abduct” and “sex workers” should be “sex slaves.” In case you have any doubt about that…

One 17-year-old solicited on Facebook allowed Strom to pick her up in his car at her home, but when he spelled out what he expected, she told Strom she wanted out. In response, he “slammed her head against the window of the vehicle,” forced her to ingest cocaine… That night, he took her to an apartment complex and rented her out to 14 men. The encounter netted Strom $1,000.

If you don’t think that’s “abduction” and “sex slavery”, you need a new dictionary.

I see to it that my chi’ren know that the internet is dangerous. They know that their Facebook profiles need to be private. Even then, they are never to post their phone number or address. They are never to talk to strangers online. And they know if (and I do) catch them doing any of these things, I will rage all over them (and inform their real parental units).

Do your chi’ren know these things? I know the list of things to “talk to your children” about is getting longer every day, but you can not let this one slide!

Set the rules and stick to them. Your child’s cell phone and computer are your property, not theirs. You can and should view their browser history, text messages, and contact lists often. Require that your child add you to all of their social networks (including Twitter and Instagram).

They may hate you for it now, but they’re teenagers. They’re supposed to hate you. That’s why there are folks like me in their youth group! They love me! And when they come to me crying about their horrible parents, I’ll pat them on the shoulder and give you a thumbs up behind their back.

* “My chi’ren” is how I refer to the young folks who have grown up in the Glenview Baptist Church youth program. I love them all as if they were my own and if you mess with them, I will find you and it will be a bad day.

WBQotW #232 … Is Famous!

I have several white board quips in the queue that are silly or odd questions, sort of a mockery of the “get to know you” questions you hear at parties or job interviews. When CGPGrey offered to answer questions from his viewers, I posted several of these off-the-wall queries. This one actually got picked for the video! So obviously, it gets bumped to the front of the queue.

What is your favorite internal organ?

[I apologize in advance if you are forced to watch Liz’s amorous, plush, heart puppet in that insufferable YouTube ad. I can not tell you how much I would like to kill it with fire.]

YouTube Link (to my question at 4:56)

Nanny State FAIL: Calorie Labels

I would really really really love to do a whole, in-depth, scathing blog post on this. Sadly, I just don’t have the time. So, check out this video and then spend a few minutes with your eyes closed imagining the brilliant and insightful Trint-rant that should accompany it.

If I Had a Million Dollars…

TAKE MY MONEY!…I would make a business of going from one Liberal-nut-job gun “buy back” to another. Next weekend, Niagara Falls, and Lockport, NY, will offer “$50 for working shotguns and rifles, $75 for handguns, and $100 for assault rifles.” At the same time, in a suburb of Palo Alto, CA, “a small-caliber handgun with a small magazine might fetch $100, for example, while a high-powered assault weapon with a large magazine would garner more, perhaps $200 or $250.”

There are similar events near Philadelphia, PA; San Jose, CA; Newburgh, NY; Conway, SC; and Santa Fe, NM in just the next two weeks!

Yessir, I’d park my truck across the street with a big banner: “Sell you gun here!”

At a gun show, depending on the caliber and condition, an AR or AK rifle is worth $800 to $2000. Even pistols are worth two to ten times more than these wackos are paying. Talk about a healthy margin! If I had the money to invest, I could turn a 100 to 1000% profit on each weapon. Meanwhile, my savings account is earning less than 2%.

Of course, I wouldn’t haul the weapons straight to a gun show. That’d be dishonest. In order to win over these brainless gun givers (Can’t really consider them “owners” can you?) I’d promise them the guns were for my private collection. They’d be “off the street” and locked up away from the bad guys… at least until the market stops climbing.

Actually… Sante Fe is not that far from here. Hmmm.

WFHF Video: Jury Duty

Huh huh. Huh huh. You said, “dooty.”

The Impossible Dream

I have weird dreams. No, seriously. Really really weird. All the time. I probably have totally off the wall dreams every night, but I only remember them after I wake up about half the time.

This morning, I remembered.

In my dream I was doing database maintenance. This is part of my real-life job in which I am responsible for deleting unneeded data from our databases. So far, not weird. But in my dream, I messed up one of the database commands and deleted Ohio. Yes, the state. It instantly disappeared from all maps and history books. All the buildings, people, cars, everything in the state… poof-gone. Nothing left but trees, grass and an impressive river valley (but no river, because it was named the “O” word).

I felt pretty bad about it, but apparently, there were no backup files for Ohio, so now it’s gone for good. Sorry Bengals fans!

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