Do you have tender, childhood memories of “Sesame Street”? I sure do. Silly old Ernie endlessly pestering poor old Bert. Big Bird’s wide-eyed naivete. Kermit’s soft hearted interaction with kids my age. Good old, well meaning Grover, the worst waiter ever. And, of course, that great blue haired glutton, Cookie Monster. Well, if you share those precious memories with me; if you feel all warm and fuzzy inside with you hear that familiar toon (“Sunny day. Everything’s A-OK”); if you too long for the simple days of yore… GET OVER IT! Grow up! Act your age! And, most importantly, do NOT scarf down whole platefuls of cookies in a crumb flinging binge!!!

Yes, it’s true. Life is not the sunny days and a-ok’s we were promised. If you live in a trash can, you’re not a grouch, you’re a drunk. If you call your male roommate “good buddy” and your beds are next to each other, you’re probably gay. If you’re a waiter who can’t tell the difference between a bowl of soup and a straw hat, you’re going to be unemployed! And if you consume cookies fast enough to choke a snuffaluffagus, you’re going to die of obesity-induced diabetes!!

Sadly, our old sunny neighborhood has made quite a few concessions to reality since you and I left. (I blame that little falsetto fiend Elmo.) For example, this season “Sesame Street” is focusing on childhood obesity. Yep. You guessed it. Cookie Monster is on a diet. Oh, rest assured the left-leaning loons who run PBS (on our tax dollars) firmly deny that Mr. Monster has a “problem”. They have taken the cover-up and spin approach.

“We are not putting him on a diet … We’re teaching him moderation.”

So says, Dr. Rosemarie T. Truglio, the show’s vice president of research and education. Suuuure. Moderation. Like I’m going to fall for that one! I’ll bet they’ve got our poor furry friend tied to a chair in some dark room, force feeding him lettuce wrapped tofu! OH THE HUMANITY!!

Read the very entertaining full article at cnn.com. Link courtesy of PvP Online.