(Title translation for folks who don’t deal with teenagers: “Oh my gosh! That’s so not fair!”)

You may have heard the sad sad tale of Windy Hager. (It’s “Windy” with an “i”. In this, I feel her pain.) Windy is 16 years old (Almost an adult!) and for months, her parents had been total jerks when it came to her boyfriend, Brenton. They tried everything to keep the two apart. When Windy and finally had enough, she pulled the teen angst trump card and informed her parents that she “hated” them. It was at this that her parents, Dennis and Betty Hager, finally relented. They would let Windy and her boyfriend do whatever they wanted to do.

So far, this is just like several million other cases in which parents wimped out to the detriment of their own kids. But in this case it’s much much worse. You see, in this case, the boyfriend is Brenton Wuchae, Windy’s 40-year-old track coach and the parental relent involved signing consent forms for their under aged daughter to marry the old perv.

Like I said you may have heard this story because it was all over the news a month or so ago. What you may not have heard is this follow up story. When Windy moved out, she left behind some things. One can imagine that she’d be in a hurry to get out before her parents came to their senses.

She recently took her parents to court to try and get her stuff out of her old room. I am totally not making this up: a mounted fish, a sculpture, a PlayStation game system, and a Beanie Babies collection valued at $300. Now how could anyone doubt the maturity level of a girl who sues her parents for custody of her beanie babies? (And believes that such a collection has any monetary value whatsoever.)

The judge promptly threw out the case because a parent of a minor legally owns all the possessions of their children, especially when they paid for them in the first place. Like I said, “TSNF!” Windy has the right to appeal the case, but it’s unlikely that screaming and throwing things will go very far with the appellate court. And everyone knows that judges couldn’t care less if you hate them.

One more story kids, and then it’s off to bed! I mean it!

Okay, so most of the time I get a little sadistic tickle when I read a negative story about Wal-Mart. (Like this one. Tee hee! That tickles.) But this story is just too dumb to qualify.

An Iowa woman is suing Wal-Mart for negligence because she slipped in a puddle of puke and hurt her back. The suit does not explain how the blue giant was negligent and no word yet on whether she’ll also sue the in-store McDonald’s for selling the dangerous happy meal in which she stepped*. Some people really make me want to throw up.

Hey lady! Here’s a tip. If there’s puke on the floor, don’t step in it. Mmkay?

* There is no evidence linking any McDonald’s Happy Meal™ with this story. It was just an attempt at humor by recalling several law suits filed against bars from which drunk drivers received their bedrunkedness. Also it was a little jab at my other least favorite American staple.

Read the whole story.

When mass killers meet armed resistance is an article posted a couple of weeks ago in response to the VTech shootings. It tells the real story (the one that never seems to make the news) about several mass shootings in the last few years in which armed private citizens put a stop to the killing. This is an absolute must read for anyone who thinks that gun control stops crime.

The only thing gun control does is provide criminals with the confidence that they will not meet any resistance. Arms carried by legal, law-abiding citizens break that confidence and stop criminals in their tracks.

For a relativist, it is unconscionable to tell someone else, especially someone from a different culture, that they are wrong. Therefore, “multiculturalism” is rampant in Europe, where relativism is god.

Multiculturalism is a sad attempt to treat people delicately and not offend their cultural beliefs. (As long as those beliefs are not Christian. Nobody cares about offending them.) So German courts render verdicts differently for Muslims than for … Infidels?

Rather than jail a man for beating his wife, the German court won’t even grant her a divorce “[b]ecause the woman, as a Muslim, should have ‘expected’ it, the judge explained.”

That, ladies and gentlemen, is relativism.

Sinfully stolen from Randy.

Compete article.

I can’t even tell you how pumped I am to learn that Texas has a “report a litterer” web form. I’m going to be on this thing every other day!!

Rarely does a commute go by that I don’t see someone flick a cigarette butt out of their car. It infuriates me. I ride my bike to work from time to time and when you have ride down the side of the road, even for just a few miles, you really get an idea just how much litter is generated by those disgusting butts. There are thousands of them. When a good gully washer comes along, all those butts get washed into our lakes and rivers. I’m getting all worked up just thinking about it.

You best not be flinging your butt when I’m on patrol bucko! I guarantee you’ll be getting a nasty-gram from the state on my behalf.

Cleanly stolen from Dave.

I hold very strongly to the opinion that “Entertainment News” is the biggest oxymoron in America. I detest tabloid society and deplore the people whose money keeps it afloat. If it were not for the vacuous multitudes who fawn over Hollywood stars and drool of every morsel of paparazzi gossip, the entire industry would fade into the septic tank of history where it belongs.

That being said, I’d like to post my first comment on Britney Spears. This weekend, in the span of 48 hours, she checked in to and out of rehab, shaved her head and got two tattoos. (Not that there’s anything wrong with tattoos.) This sounds very much like something that you’d hear about a rebellious sixteen-year-old who’d had another fight with her mom. This sounds very much like something I’d have to deal with in my youth group. But this is not a pubescent tantrum we’re talking about. This is an adult mother of two.

The first time I ever heard the name Britney Spears, it was swirling in the controversy of a jail-bate teenager doing a sexually charged music video when she professed to be a virgin and was touted as a role model for good girls everywhere. It would not have been hard, if I had even the slightest shred of interest at the time, to predict the path this young girl would take.

From Mouseketeer to sex symbol to making out with Madonna to pregnant white-trash to Paris Hilton crotch shot to drug hazed head shaving. It’s all par for the course. It’s terrible to say, but I would be surprised if she survives past 30 and if she does, she will end up one of the many curiosities in the freak show of American pop culture has-beens. There’s a long and illustrious history for people in this gutter of society with names like Howard Hughes, Marilyn Monroe, Elvis, Michael Jackson, and Anna Nicole Smith. From that list of names you can see that there are two possible outcomes. Early death at the hands of fast living or years of sequestered insanity. Britney’s chances of ending up in one of those two situations is near 100%. 2 to 1 says it’s the former rather than the latter.

Call me a cynic, but I pray for the day when America stops idolizing entertainers. It is the root of all that stinks about our society. Something is terribly wrong in a culture where hundreds of people spend weeks outside a courthouse to show their undying support for a millionaire recluse who spends his days riding roller coasters with a monkey and someone else’s kids and has paid the mortgages of countless plastic surgeons in his futile attempts to become something other than what he is. It’s this same people who wring their hands and wag their heads over a distraught woman acting out in rebellion befitting someone half her age.

I tell you we need to treat these people the same way you treat a wayward four-year-old screaming for attention. If you ignore them, eventually, they’ll stop being so stupid. Thus ends my last ever post on Britney Spears.

Dear Johnny Carino’s Waitress,

I’m sorry I can not be more personal in my greeting, but you never told us your name. You were the short one with the northeastern accent (New Jersey maybe?).

Thanks for the great service. Our food was terrific (so let the cooks know I said, “Muy bueno!”).

In particular, I wanted to thank you for offering to box up our left-overs for us. Your idea of putting my wife’s shrimp scampi into the *lid* of the box rather than the bottom, was really ingenious. This was the only way you could defeat the well engineered lip around the box that would have kept the olive oil and butter sauce *inside* the box. By putting the goods in the lid, you insured that we could enjoy the aroma of garlic and butter for days as it coated everything else in the doggie bag. Our refrigerator will remind us of our great dining experience for days to come.

I can’t thank you enough for granting me the slippery sensation on my fingers when I discovered that my to-go box of steak had a wonderful sheen of olive oil all over it. I wish you could have shared our laughter as we found that the olive oil wouldn’t even rinse out of the sink (where I placed said box after dripping oil across the kitchen floor) without a good dose of dishwashing soap. Ha ha haaa wheeeee

Thanks again,

Trint

Update: In November 2006, just days before the start of the holiday shopping season (Coincidence? I think not.) Wal-Mart issued a statement saying that they have chosen to “remain neutral” in social matters and will not give money to organizations with political motives. The AFA has lifted its boycott, but I’m still not spending my money there. It is possible to not shop there. Trust me.

Since dear old Sam Walton died, Wal-Mart has gone from a “Made in the U.S.A”, grass roots, apple pie company to the most (deservedly) vilified corporation in America. 1) Wal-Mart pumps billions of dollars into the sweat-shop industries of the worlds largest human rights violator (China). 2) Wal-Mart unashamedly destroys small town economies. And now, as if conservative Christian Americans needed any more reason to hate the company, 3) Wal-Mart jumped on the homosexual band wagon.

“In an unprecedented push, Wal-Mart Stores has hired a gay-marketing shop, joined the National Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce and begun discussions with activist groups about extending domestic-partnership benefits to its employees.”

According to an article in Advertising Age, Wal-Mart has jumped in with both feet wanting to cash in on the lucrative gay market.

“The steps being taken by Wal-Mart are the strongest signal yet that the company may be taking a permanent stand on the side of gay rights, despite the inevitable lambasting from right-wing conservative groups, such as the Family Research Council and the American Family Association.”

In other words, Wal-Mart is shouting from the roof tops, “Hey middle America! We don’t care what you think. We’re going to make our money any way we can. And we are confident that you will continue to buy our cheap Chinese crap because you’ve already proven to be a bunch of ignorant cattle. So screw you, America! Have a nice day and come again!”

So, have you had enough yet? I have. Until now, I’ve “avoided” Wal-Mart, which is to say, I only shop there when I’m not sure where else to go to find what I need. (Where else do you go when you want to buy a Frisbee or a 50 gallon trash can?) Well, no more. I’m done. (My wife’s going to hate me for this.)

You might be thinking, “How can you not shop at Wal-Mart?” Well, if that’s true, then Wal-Mart is right and we really are a bunch of ignorant cattle. The reason Wal-Mart is what it is today is because we’ve all been to lazy and cheap to face up to their crappy business practices. “Moo!” I say! “Moo!” I will moo no more!

Join me! Let Wal-Mart know that you will moo no more! Contact your local Wal-Mart and the Wal-Mart corporate office:

Rob Walton, Chairman
Wal-Mart Stores, Inc.
702 Southwest 8th Street
Bentonville, AR 72716
Primary Phone: 1-800-925-6278
Fax: 479-277-2473
E-Mail: Rob Walton, Wal-Mart Stores, Inc.

Can I just tell you, I hate Microsoft! I know that I work in an MS shop. I know that I develop software in an MS language that runs on an MS server. I know that a lot of MS stuff is really cool and makes my life easier. But I still hate it!! (And I always discourage people from using the word “hate”, but I really do hate it.)

Here I am, minding my own business, a relatively intelligent guy, smart enough to know that if I get an exe file emailed to me from free@porn.viagra.com that I should not open said exe file. I am also smart enough to know that if my colleague sends me an exe file (related to my job) that he just told me in person that he was sending me, I can trust that it is not a malicious file and I should be able to open it.

But just in case I’m too stupid to know the difference, MS Outlook refuses to give me access to the file. Oh, it’s there. The file exists on my hard drive. It’s just that MS; being the high and mighty, omnipotent and omniscient big brother that it is; says, “Ah ah ah! You can’t touch that file. It might be dangerous.”

So what’s a guy to do? Google it, of course. And high on the list of search returns is an article from Microsoft’s own knowledge base that explains how to hack the registry in order to overcome this “security feature”.

*Long, angry, migraine inducing sigh*

If you know how to edit your registry, then you are probably safe in reading this article in which MS tells you how to hack MS in order to get around MS’s *%^$%#!@? draconian iron curtain “feature”.

I’d better stop writing before I compromise my Christian witness.

This morning, from a cave somewhere in Pakistan, Taliban Minister Mohammed Omar, warned the United States that if military action against Iraq continues, Taliban authorities will cut off America’s supply of convenience store managers. And if this action does not yield sufficient results, cab drivers will be next, followed by Dell customer service reps.