Despite what you may have heard, I don’t hate kids. I actually love kids… once they’re old enough to keep their bodily functions to themselves and understand physics of sound well enough not to yell at me from two feet away. That is to say, I love most kids by the time they’re thirteen years old.

I just wanted to clear that up before I posted WBQotW #99.

Children are the original sexually transmitted disease.

Next week I’ll be on vacation, but I’m hoping I’ll have net access and can post WBQotW #100. (A land mark event!)

I found two conflicting white board quips in my quip database. (Seriously, I am that much of a geek. I really have a database set up for my white board quips.) Since I couldn’t really decide which one I liked better, I decided to use them both. I’ll let the commenters decide which is more correct.

Quip A:

Celibacy is not hereditary.

Quip B:

Childbirth is hereditary. If your parents don’t have any kids, neither will you.

This week’s white board quip is influenced by the fact that I attended a middle school youth pool party this weekend. I didn’t bring a swim suit and had not planned to partake eye-burning goodness, but who was I kidding. Thankfully, we have good kids and they took off my shoes before they threw me in.

Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in.
– Hotel Ad

It’s been a good month since there have been any stars over Dallas. What is up with this rain already?! This week’s quip is posted in hopes that the stars still exists and that we’ll see them again soon.

Last night as I lay in bed looking at the stars, I thought, “Where the heck is the ceiling?”

It’s time for the WBQotW to get back to its roots. Back to the days when a mysterious phrase anonymously scribed on a white board would both entertain and confuse those who found it.

I’m happier than a wooden spoon at a spelling bee!

This is SO me.

Just because I have a short attention span doesn’t mean…

I’ve got politics on the brain lately and it reminded me of this quip I’ve been saving up for a long time. It’s from conservative commentator William F. Buckley Jr.

I won’t insult your intelligence by suggesting that you really believe what you just said.

Ooh burn.

I just want to say that FireFox 2.0 rox my sox off. The best feature by far is the built in spell checker. It works much like we’ve come to expect from MS Word with little red lines and right-click to get possible correct spellings. No more copying my blog post into Word to spell check it before posting.

Which brings us to this week’s white board quip:

Do witches run spell checkers?

I’ll never forget the time I insulted a witch and she turned me into a noot. (I got better.)

I’m not sure where I got this white board quip. Good thing I have skills other than a good memory.

At least I have good social skills, dipweed!

For once, this week’s white board quip came from recent reading and not from my ever-growing database of quips. This one was from a great post on RealLivePreacher’s blog.

God knows we pick our noses.