A while back, I posted about Richard Hatch, the Survivor contestant in a heap of trouble over his financial misdeeds. The verdict is in. Hatch was found guilty on all counts of tax evation, but was let off the hook for the fraud charges. His defense: Hatch was the “world’s worst bookkeeper” and never meant to do anything wrong. Pshyeah right. And monkeys might fly out of my butt.

Hatch faces a maximum sentence of 13 years in prison and a fine of $600,000. Read more details.

Just yesterday I mentioned Mayor Ray Nagin’s “chocolate city” comment. Now “Willy Nagin” is an international super star. T-Shirts featuring Nagin’s face photo-chopped into a Willy Wonka logo have been selling like made and the company producing them (ImNotChocolate.com) says they’ve received orders from as far away as Malaysia and Norway.

In related news, Willy Wonka himself has announced plans to run for mayor of New Orleans. Read the double-scoop here. (Note to bitter leftists: This last part was what you call “satire”.)