<RANT>
I love the Olympics. My wife fills half a dozen video tapes every four years so she can weather the down time until the next Olympics roll around. (No, I’m serious.) The athleticism, the drive, the indelible human spirit; it’s all so inspiring. Every four years, the bar is raised, records are broken, and unimaginable feats become reality.

You know what else is inspiring? NBC’s coverage of the Olympics. It inspires me to watch re-runs of Cheers on TBS! Every two years (Let’s not forget that they butch the Winter Games too!) NBC achieves new heights in idiocy, provides record breaking annoyance and makes unimaginable suckage a reality. To quote Greg Storey over at Airbag, the coverage is “sucktacular”!

Seriously! Who can I pay to get the Olympics on another network?! ANY other network. Heck, the Cartoon Network could do better than those yahoo’s with the Peacock. I’d take Sponge Bob and Patrick any day over Tim Daggett and Elfie Schlegel. (Yeah, yeah. Tammy watches Gymnastics, so I do too. It takes a real man… oh never mind.)

Now, I know they’re not all bad. Bob Costas is a cordial enough guy, but is there any way we can get Katie Couric assigned to cover deepest darkest Congo? I’m sure her witless banter and mind numbing trivia would sound better with rocket propelled grenades whizzing overhead.

Who is the guy who handles scheduling over at NBC? Is there a minute hand on his watch? I’m thinking to myself, “Hey Self, how’s it hanging? Let’s see what time the 200M Freestyle is on tonight. Gee. The schedule says, ‘8:00 PM – 12:00 AM: Olympic Summer Games’. That is SO helpful. Maybe I’ll just scrape my thighs with a cheese grater instead of listening to Katie for four hours just so I can see a 60 second race.” I’m not making this up. See for yourself!

*Sigh* Okay. I feel better now. Does anyone know how I can get BBC-Canada on my TV?
</RANT>