At first, I thought the Cash for Clunkers plan was just some retarded, tree-hugger scheme get evil, Gaia-hating, SUV drivers (like me) to get rid of their planet killing vehicles by using their evil, consumption-loving, capitalism against them. While there may be some modicum of truth to that, I had an epiphone today: There is a much better and more logical theory.

Cash for clunkers requires that “clunkers” traded it be destroyed. Here’s a video of a perfectly good and healthy Corvette being put to sleep. (If you view this at Youtube [by clicking on the video or the link below it], you’ll notice a long list of “related videos” showing other expensive, healthy cars put to pasture.)

It was after watching this, that it occurred to me: Cash for Clunkers was just a proof of concept, a test, and it passed with flying colors. Now that Americans have proven that they are willing turn over perfectly good vehicles to be destroyed for a few thousand bucks, The Bronco Bomber has all the leverage he needs to move on to the real implimentation: Cash for Codgers!

That’s right! I expect to see the plan go public in early in 2010. I’m sure the numbers are still being worked out, but I figured $1 million would be a real bargain for taking your otherwise happy and healthy grand-dad out of the medicare pool.

God, please let the this remain a bad joke and not reality.