Today’s “too stupid to be real” news story comes to us from none other that “The Donald”.

Now, pardon me, but anyone who is so pompous as to allow their name to be used as a noun does not deserve any fame, nor attention, but that’s beside the point.

In a recent book, Timothy L. O’Brien claims that Trump’s net worth is not, as “The Donald” purports, in the billions. Rather it is in the mere millions. “The Donald” has taken issue with this claim and sued O’Brien and the New York Times (for which O’Brien works) for defamation of character. (Again, I’m not sure there is much character left to assassinate, but that’s be side the point.)

“The Donald” is asking for five billion dollars in damages. Yes, billion with a “B”. Uhhh… Yeah.

So, basically, “The Donald” is saying, “Nuh uh! I am too a billionaire. And just to prove it, I’m going to make you give me enough money to make be one if I wasn’t one already. But I am. So there. And my dad can beat up your dad too!”

Like I said, for character assassination charge to stick, they’re going to have to prove that he had any character to begin with. But that’s beside the point.