We all know “that guy.” Usually, he’s a blood relative.

So what website do I go to to google something?

What would you do if the electricity in your entire state when out for months or even years? Are you prepared? 99.9% of us are not.

Some people would call me a “prepper.” But what does that really mean? Some think preppers are kooks who hoard thousands of rounds of ammunition, hundreds of pounds of rice and beans, dozens of barrels of water, and have a 1500 square foot, underground shelter in the woods. Admittedly, these kooks are the .1% who (along with most Amish) would be fine in the event I mentioned above.

Maybe the name “prepper” has been spoiled by some cable shows which thrive off of putting the kookiest kooks on display. But am I a prepper? I don’t have a bunker with years worth of food and water, but I do have a box in my closet with a few weeks worth of toilet paper and Clif Bars.

You might ask why. Well, turns out that our modern life is pretty fragile. Ask the people who survived hurricane Katrina or Sandy how quickly your life can devolve when a few basic services are taken away. But I live in North Texas! (I hear you say.) There are no hurricanes here! Okay, but say a tornado hits your local power plant. Or a flood destroys your local water supply. Or a terrorist blows up the nearest gasoline refinery. Or worse.

Did you know that a couple of weeks ago, a massive solar flare passed right by the Earth? A solar flare so powerful it would have destroyed more than half of all communication and GPS satellites. It would have melted telephone and electric transmission lines over half the planet. It would have destroyed almost all components used to get electricity to your house. My precious cell phone would have become less than a door stop. And if it had happened two weeks later or had left the Sun at a slightly different angle, the Earth would have taken a direct hit. Sounds like the making of a great disaster movie. But this time, it was for real. And it’s really terrifying.

For me personally, if there’s no power, there’s no internet, and I have no job. But even more than that, if there’s no power, there’s no… anything. No gasoline, no clean water, no food, no toilet paper… Yeah. Let that sink in.

So, am I crazy for keeping a survival box in my closet? Is it crazy that I want to buy a generator and plant a veggie garden? Maybe. Maybe not.

No, I know. Don’t get all up in my face. I’m not supposed to use the word “hate” unless it’s really necessary. SORRY!

But, I think you’ll find you agree that you… uh… really don’t like the stuff in this Work From Home Friday video. And you will probably laugh. (At least I hope so!)

It’s Monday. And there’s a new post on my blog. That can only mean one thing: Time for a new white board quip!

I hate being bi-polar. It’s awesome!

But where did this all start? Well, you could click “More” under the WBQotW in the side bar, scroll to the bottom of the page, and then click “Older Posts” about fifty times (yes, really) and read my explanation on WBQotW #1. (Or I could just give you the link.) But that doesn’t really tell the whole story.

Yes the actual WBQotW (in its weekly format) started in a lowly intern’s cubicle at Hewlett Packard in 1998. But the practice of writing off-beat, puzzling, and sometimes funny quotes on a white board actually took root a bit earlier.

In the spring of 1993 (Holy Alzheimer’s, Batman! That was exactly 20 years ago!), I was attending Amarillo College and shared several classes with my childhood friend, Galyn Black. We took Calculus II in a newer class room, the first I’d ever seen with a white board. (As opposed to a chalk board. Yes, I am a dinosaur. You children can find out about chalk boards on Wikipedia along side cassette tapes, Milli Vanilli, and other aspects of the late Cretaceous period.)

At this same time, Galyn and I had become fans of the original Ren & Stimpy show on Nickelodeon. If you’ve seen any of this relic of the early 90’s, you’ll know it’s little more than a 20 minute string of nonsensical quips strung together with improbable plots and offensive characters. So, of course, I loved it.

For some reason, Galyn and I were always the first two to arrive to the class room. My compulsion to spoil empty white spaces and my fascination with the dry erase miracle (both of which are still important parts of my personality) left me powerless. I HAD to write on the board. I think it was probably Galyn’s idea to use Ren & Stimpy quotes. We would pick the most odd-ball, confoundingly out-of-context quote we could think of from a recent show and leave it on the board. Then, when the rest of the class would arrive, we would swear it was already on the board when we walked in. We were never caught.

Glorious.

I’m really torn about whether or not I believe this… and whether or not I want to believe it.

Some college kids have figured out (it would seem) how to control a drone with your BRAIN!

Game over, man! Game over!

When life gets crazy, I know it’s time to get out my old Calvin and Hobbes books.

Nobody ever pays me a penny for my thoughts.
– Calvin

Man it has been nutty around here lately. And there seems to be little sign of a slow down. Well… unless you count my upcoming vacation. *smile*

Memorial Day weekend, we hosted Tammy’s parents. It was great and we did a lot of touristy things that were on my “some day” list, including the G.W. Bush Library, the 6th Floor Museum, and a tour of Jerry World (a.k.a. Cowboys Stadium).

Tammy and I are heading to Colorado next week, but as seems to be the norm for me, my vacation is almost as stressful as real life. It’s going to be awesome, don’t get me wrong, but I’ve got reservations to make, trail rides to plan, off road permit stickers to buy, and work to do to get the bikes ready for 11,000 feet.

My pseudo-manic life spawned this week’s white board quip selection. It’s from a blog post by a guy from my church cataloging the bizarre and hilarious things his daughter says.

I can’t keep living like this for long. I’m going to have to go to Six Flags at some point.
– 10-year-old

It’s Work From Home Friday!!

And now for today’s bit of internet weirdness courtesy of Rhett and Link.

Obamacare is no joke and it’s already forcing the Liberal world view (the culture of death) on ALL Americans. Obamacare requires that ALL Americans get health coverage and, in the same breath, it requires ALL health coverage to include infanticide… er… sorry… “birth control.” Because, you see, “birth control” sounds nice. It sounds like freedom and happiness. But any time the Liberal Left says “birth control,” what they’re really saying is “abortion.” That is, after all, the ultimate birth control: killing the baby.

The Republican controlled house can’t do much while Obama sits atop his throne and his cronies control the Senate. But they can make as much noise as possible hoping that Obama’s Lap-dog Lame Stream media will be forced to comment.

HR 940 is one such shout. It’s the “Health Care Conscience Rights Act”; an amendment to Obamacare that would allow individuals and companies to purchase health insurance that does not go against their moral and/or religious convictions and it opens the door for insurance companies to offer policies that don’t include abortion.

You can see if your representative has already signed on to cosponsor the bill here. You will notice (if you’re a North Texan like me) that all three of the core conservative reps from DFW have already signed up: Joe Barton, Dr. Michael Burgess, and Kenny Marchant.

However, my new rep (thanks to redistricting), the “pro-choice conservative” (*HURK* ugh. I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.) Kay Granger, has not yet signed on. I just sent her the following email via her website. (You can too!)

As I’m sure you know, the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act is forcing all Americans, including those who have serious religious or moral objections, to pay for insurance coverage that covers (and ultimately funds) abortion and other “birth control” solutions that involve the death of an unborn innocent.

Thankfully, true conservatives in the House have offered a solution: HR 940. I’m sure you will respect my choice to not pay for a procedure I consider immoral, joining other North Texas conservatives like Reps Barton, Burgess, and Marchant, and cosponsor this bill. Thank you for representing my conservative values in Washington.

Also conspicuously missing from the list is Roger Williams, who represents the area south of Fort Worth, including Burleson.

If your House representative has not signed on yet, you can contact them by finding your district and going to the representative’s website.