surelyyourenotserious.com
Yaay Free Speech!

This web site didn’t render very well for me using Firefox, but you can still see the “Watch The Trailer” and “Buy The DVD” buttons, which are most important.

http://www.fahrenhype911.com/

By the way, Hollywood, do us all a favor and stay out of politics. You really don’t get it.

Illiterate Anti-Gun Activists (and the Media Who Loves Them)

I’m not Rambo. I don’t think there’s a justifiable reason for a private American to own a fully-automatic machine gun or a grenade launcher. But I do own a hand gun. Now, with that said, let’s discuss the fire-arm-phobic media and some of the stupid things they say.

In the next week or so, a gun ban passed by President Clinton (under the shadiest of political circumstances) will expire, due to a congressional repeal of that ban. And the media is FREAKING OUT

The hype (this, from Reuters):
“The ban on such weapons as Uzis and AK-47s will expire at midnight next Monday unless Congress votes to renew it. …high-powered guns and large-capacity ammunition clips could flood America’s streets…”

The fact:
AK-47s and UZIs along with all other fully automatic weapons are covered by several other fire arm and crime laws. When the Clinton ban expires, AK-47s and UZIs will still be illegal. If fact, the Clinton ban is so poorly conceived that it does not cover many true assault rifles.

The hype (from Carolyn McCarthy, D-NY):
“The NRA is an extremely powerful group, there’s no two ways about it… [politicians] don’t want to tick them off two months before elections.”

The facts:
After the gun ban was passed in 1994, virtually every one of the legislators that voted for the ban was defeated in the biggest congressional land-slide election in history. If you think the NRA had the power to orchestrate the ’94 landslide, then you give them far too much credit. If that were true, McCarthy would surely not be in office to begin with. Sorry, Carolyn. It’s called democracy.

The hype (from Amy Sisley of Physicians for Social Responsibility):
“It is a health-care crisis… 90 percent of spinal cord injuries in the United States are caused by gunshot wounds.”

The facts:
Amy Sisley is either a complete idiot or she does not know how to read. What crack-smoking maroon would honestly believe that 90% of spinal injuries are caused by assault rifles?! Lady, have you been on a highway lately? Have you ever in your precious, sheltered life heard of a car accident?

The established facts are that a quarter of once percent of violent crimes in the US (that’s 1 in 400) involve weapons covered by the Clinton ban (and all of those weapons are already banned by other laws). Only 5% violent crimes (1 in 20) involve fire arms legal or otherwise. The vast majority of violent crimes are perpetrated with knives, blunt instruments, or bare hands.

Now, let’s consider that 95% of crimes that are committed without guns. What do you think would happen if victims of those violent crimes carried legal, licensed hand guns? Ever heard the phrase bringing a knife to a gun fight? Face it. Violent criminals are just not the smartest people. But even they are smart enough not to face down a gun when they’re holding a golf club.

How many crimes do you think are prevented every year by law abiding citizens who are willing and able to protect themselves from criminals by owning and being willing to use legal fire arms in their own defense? Unfortunately, that statistic is impossible to calculate, but pick up any gun magazine in any given month and you will read two or three letters to the editor by licensed gun owners telling of a crime that didn’t happen thanks to a legal, private fire arm. Seriously, try it!

And Now… Finally…. an Update

My adoring readers (all two of them) have been clamoring for an update on the “fam”. I apologize for the delay. I could say something like I’ve been buried at work, but it would be a lie. I’ve just been lazy. At least I’m honest.

Tammy has finished rehab and has been cleared by the doctor to put her new and improved ankle to use. We’ve been to the climbing gym twice and taken one short bike ride. She’s doing well, but still taking it slow. She had a little “discomfort” climbing, but nothing that can’t be avoided by doing easier routes while she rebuilds her strength.

My explorer had water pump issues last month and I couldn’t seem to find a full day to tear it apart (nor the money to buy replacement parts) so I decided to take advantage of the unusually cool weather and ride my mountain bike to work. I rode to work for almost a full month. Weekend before last, I finally managed the time and money to tear down the truck and replace the water pump. BamBam is running fine now.

My old buddy Galyn has taken me out on several death-defying mountain bike rides in the last couple of months. I am very surprised at how much I enjoy it. It’s not the same as riding a motorcycle in the mountains, but it’s close. Plus it’s getting me back in shape. I still can’t keep up with Galyn on the hill climbs and have to stop to catch my breath once in a while, but it’s getting better.

An unfortunate side-effect to this new hobby is that I tend to fall… hard. On our first difficult trail (Cedar Hill), I did a full-fledged “endo”, landing squarely on my helmet. Yaaay helmet!

A couple of weeks ago riding in the Hwy 360 area, I lost it going down a rocky ravine and bashed my shin in a big way. My knee is still a tad swollen from that fall, which put an end to my daily ride to work. The knee is not bad enough to keep me off the bike entirely; just enough that I decided to rest it.

In other news, I have been drafted as the “climbing expert” on an exhibition to summit Grand Teton next summer. Again, this can be entirely blamed on Galyn. His brother-in-law, for some as yet undetermined reason, has made up his mind he needs to climb the Grand. He enlisted Galyn to head the team and Galyn tapped me to be the rope-man. We are planning on taking the Owen-Spaulding route in August of 2005. That route is the easiest way to summit, but still has a couple of spots that will require some easy rock climbing. All the guides say the route is easy but “exposed”, meaning you probably won’t fall, but if you did (without protection) you would make a nice meal for the carrion birds three thousand feet below. On the way down from the summit, we’ll be doing at least two rappels over 100 feet. This means toting two climbing ropes (approx. 9 pounds each) to the 13,770 foot summit along with the necessary hardware. I’m going to have be me in MUCH better shape by then.

Tammy and I are starting our second season directing the youth drama group, The Bottom Line, at our church. This year is going great. The kids are excited and we have many more chances to perform. We are also both teaching Sunday school; I’m with 10th grade boys, Tammy’s got 9th grade girls. Just last night we have a meeting at the church to discuss a new adult drama ministry. We won’t likely have directorial roles in that group, but will certainly be involved.

Okay, I’m spent. I can’t think of any other information to share. I hope you all (both of you) enjoy this update. Good day!

Facts can be painful to those who try to hide them

Great facts to help you make the right choice in November.

http://www.scaryjohnkerry.com/taxes.htm

http://www.scaryjohnkerry.com/convention.htm

http://www.scaryjohnkerry.com/logan.htm

http://www.scaryjohnkerry.com/vietnam.htm

If you agree with these messages, VOTE!! If you don’t agree with these messages, VOTE!!!

Our men and women are fighting for democracy in places that have never seen it. Don’t let your chance to support democracy slip by. Right or wrong, right or left, take advantage of the right you have, bought by blood.

Register here: http://www.eac.gov/register_vote.asp

And so, it strikes…

My favorite web cartoon, PvP, was nearly ruined when the author’s PC was striken with Windows XP Service Pack 2. Scott Kurtz writes:

So, despite my actively avoiding it, my Windows auto-update installed service pack 2 on my computer this morning. Then it didn’t want to reboot because of the stupid security center not being able to confirm the status of my anti-virus software.

I’m still afraid to reboot a second time, but I guess I have to try. I’ll go ahead and try now. If you don’t hear back from me in a couple of days, please send a certified microsfot technician to my house.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you! If it’s not too late, reset your Windows Automatic Update to warn you about updates BEFORE it downloads them!

Jesus was “the original Democrat”, despite Al Gore’s claim to the title.

A conference of “Religion Experts” in Austin, Texas… *Snicker*

Okay, wait. Sorry. I swear I can say this with a straight face if I concentrate…

A conference of “Religion Experts” in Austin, Texas, have come to the conclusion that Jesus Christ, the Messiah, the “the carpenter from Galilee was the original Democrat.” *Chuckle*

Okay, sorry. There’s just no way I can say this without laughing. How unprofessional of me. Please forgive my lack of respect for… “Religion Experts” in Austin, Texas…

*Bursts into convulsive laughter*

“Keep Austin Weird!!”

*Doubles over laughing with tears now streaming*

I can’t… I can’t… Oh, it’s too funny.

Complete Article Here.

Lord of the Olympic Rings

I was talking to my friend Randy Peterman via IM today, and we decided the Olympic coverage would be much more fun if elves and dwarves were allowed to compete. Here’s a taste of the “Lord of the Olympic Rings Summer Games”:

“Gee Tim, Legolas sure looks good on the high bar this year!”
“That’s right Elfie. Even though the rating system only goes to a perfect 10.0; which I achieved 20 years ago before I became a washed up, witless commentator; Legolas’ quadruple-flip-over-the-bar release move earned him a perfecter 15.0! That’ll be hard to beat.”
“It sure will, Tim. Now, we turn to Gimli on vault.”
“That’s right Elfie. Gimli will be attempting a Full Thorin Oakenshield, which is humanly impossible, giving it a start value ‘outuva’ 17.”
“Ha ha ha. You said ‘outuva’ like it’s some kind of special Gymnastics term, when really it’s just bad grammar. I wonder if Gimli’s beard is going to be a distraction during this vault.”
“That’s right Elfie.”
“What’s right Tim?”
“That’s right Elfie. Here’s the approach! Oooh. Eeeh. Ugh. WOW! That was great. He really stuck that landing. It reminds me of that perfect 10.0 vault I did 20 years ago. Remember that?”
“Yep. It’s a shame Gimli vaulted a good fifteen feet past the landing mat and ‘stuck’ his landing right on top of the entire Romanian team. What a mess.”
“That’s right Elfie. That’s a compound fracture if I ever saw one. It’s not going to help the Romanian’s chances to medal.”

NBC and the Olympics – Striving for New Heights of Something

<RANT>
I love the Olympics. My wife fills half a dozen video tapes every four years so she can weather the down time until the next Olympics roll around. (No, I’m serious.) The athleticism, the drive, the indelible human spirit; it’s all so inspiring. Every four years, the bar is raised, records are broken, and unimaginable feats become reality.

You know what else is inspiring? NBC’s coverage of the Olympics. It inspires me to watch re-runs of Cheers on TBS! Every two years (Let’s not forget that they butch the Winter Games too!) NBC achieves new heights in idiocy, provides record breaking annoyance and makes unimaginable suckage a reality. To quote Greg Storey over at Airbag, the coverage is “sucktacular”!

Seriously! Who can I pay to get the Olympics on another network?! ANY other network. Heck, the Cartoon Network could do better than those yahoo’s with the Peacock. I’d take Sponge Bob and Patrick any day over Tim Daggett and Elfie Schlegel. (Yeah, yeah. Tammy watches Gymnastics, so I do too. It takes a real man… oh never mind.)

Now, I know they’re not all bad. Bob Costas is a cordial enough guy, but is there any way we can get Katie Couric assigned to cover deepest darkest Congo? I’m sure her witless banter and mind numbing trivia would sound better with rocket propelled grenades whizzing overhead.

Who is the guy who handles scheduling over at NBC? Is there a minute hand on his watch? I’m thinking to myself, “Hey Self, how’s it hanging? Let’s see what time the 200M Freestyle is on tonight. Gee. The schedule says, ‘8:00 PM – 12:00 AM: Olympic Summer Games’. That is SO helpful. Maybe I’ll just scrape my thighs with a cheese grater instead of listening to Katie for four hours just so I can see a 60 second race.” I’m not making this up. See for yourself!

*Sigh* Okay. I feel better now. Does anyone know how I can get BBC-Canada on my TV?
</RANT>

XPSP2… Oh, yeah! He was my favorite Star Wars robot.

Apparently, last weeks stint in Microsoft Certification Training (aka Billsoft Brainwashing) didn’t stick with me. I learned enough to feel confident breaking new stuff at work, but not enough to change my opinion on Big Brother Bill. (Have I mentioned how much I hate trying to make all the cool web design stuff work in IE? I’m not bitter, but… well, okay, I’m bitter.)

Windows XP has been out long enough now that I feel fairly comfortable with it. It’s really not a “bad” operating system. If you must use Windows, this is a pretty good version.

Unfortunately, XP has also been out long enough that MS is ready to screw it all up. Thus Service Pack 2 (SP2) is all geared up. Very soon, your friendly neighborhood Windows Automatic Update will quietly deliver all sorts of “new features” courtesy of XPSP2.

Now, to be totally honest, most of the features of XPSP2 sound alright. But there are just a few troublesome “helpful features” (aka “You’re too stupid to be trusted, so we’ll quietly add features that take away your ability configure your own computer.”).

SP2 was originally written to force Automatic Update. That is to say, you would no longer have the option to pick and choose what Windows Updates you installed. Instead, when MS posted an update, your machine would go get it and install it without asking your permission. Sadly (snicker snicker, nudge nudge), some countries have passed laws preventing this behavior. If Microsoft (or anyone else) wants to install code on you’re machine, they MUST give you the option to “opt-out”. Thus, this feature had to be removed (whew). Instead, Microsoft.com‘s home page is splashed with trendy looking banners imploring you to “Get ready by turning on Automatic Update today!”.

SP2 introduces an OS firewall. For my layman readers, that means that Windows itself will block certain types of connections to or from your computer. That’s fairly harmless if you’re just an EISU (E-mail, Internet, Solitaire User; someone who only uses their computer for simple tasks). But if you use your PC to, say, share music files or run a web or game server, this firewall could be a real headache. And, it does nothing to prevent things like spyware, that use the internet (port 80) to do their dirty work.

Also, since the pop-up blocker industry has become such a huge threat to Microsoft’s revenue, (please read that as dripping with sarcasm), MS has decided to add this “helpful feature” to IE. Gee thanks. You know those widely accepted, standardized functions like javascript’s window.open()? Well, you can forget those, cuz they’re (insert scary “ooh ooh” sound) DANGEROUS. Never mind the fact that most high end web applications, such as on-line banking and cool sites that help you find a doctor who takes your insurance, use pop-up windows. Those web applications will break when XP starts blocking those pop-up windows.

SP2 is bad enough that IBM has issued a stern warning to employees, “Don’t install SP2 on your work PC!” IBM, as you can imagine, has all sorts of really cool web applications for internal use. And if folks who use those applications install SP2, those cool web applications will break, bringing IBM’s internal workings to a crawl. All this time IBM has been one of MS’s biggest fans. Now they’re peeing in each other’s soup. It’s kinda fun to watch.

What could be worse than Microsoft introducing code that tears up the internal network of its biggest ally? How about introducing code that breaks its OWN software. Yep. Microsoft announced that SP2 will break Microsoft CRM, a customer support system that my own company has been wrestling with for months. We’ve just about got CRM working with our network and ready to roll out and now, SP2 will break it anyway. Nice.

So, what’s the bottom line? What should I do when Automatic Update chimes and tells me that SP2 is here and all I have to do is click one little button to receive this manna from Redmond? Personally, I’m going to wait. I can install the service pack whenever I want. I prefer to watch everyone else wail and gnash their teeth first. Then, when someone comes along and posts all their hard earned work-arounds, I’ll “patch-up” and take advantage of someone else’s sweat and tears to fix my SP2.

That’s my story and I’m stickin’ to it.

Risk – The Game of World Domination

The world is so much easier to understand when it’s just a board game. I really like the french reference.

http://www.deadtroll.com/index2.html?/text/risk.html~content

(Ironically, Tammy and I started a game of Risk just last night. Of course it won’t be finished for weeks.)

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