Q: How do you fix a broken jack-o-lantern?

A: With a pumpkin patch.

A blonde is looking to earn some money, so she goes door to door in a rich neighborhood asking for odd jobs. One man answers the door and says, “Well, my porch needs painting. I’ve already got the paint and brushes. I’ll pay you $100 to do the work.”

A short time later the blonde returns, paint stains on her hands and face. “It’s done!”

“Already? That was fast!” the man says. “Here’s your $100.”

“Thanks,” says the blonde, “and by the way. It’s not a porch. It’s a Ferrari!”

Q: What do you call a nosy pepper?

A: Jalapeno business.

…

Didn’t get it? Say it out loud. Again. Still no?

“Hal-up-in-yo business.”

Q: Why do seagulls live by the sea?

A: Because if they lived by the bay, they’d be bagels.

Today’s white board quip comes from that wealth of wisdom and humor, Dilbert. I can’t tell you how many conversations I’ve had that could best have been ended with this statement.

Is it ok if I just stare at you in disbelief?
– Dilbert

Two muffins sit in an oven.

The first muffin says, “Man! It’s really hot in here!”

The other muffin says, “HOLY CRAP!! A TALKING MUFFIN!!!”

Q: What do you get when you throw a hand grenade into a French bathroom?

A: Linoleum Blown-apart.

Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Let’s go ride bikes!!

It’s Work From Home Friday! Time for a WFHF short! (Clicky clicky!)

Q: What is the difference between a coyote and a flea?

A: One howls on the prairie. The other prowls on the hair.