This week, Tammy finds herself in a foreign land: Wisconsin. It’s kind of a long story.

Her company is doing some rearranging. They’re shifting some business from a warehouse up there to the one where Tammy works here in Dallas. So they sent her to learn how to speak Wisconsinese (I think it’s a dialect related to Canadese). It will be her job to train the folks back here how to do business in this new tongue.

She was supposed to fly out yesterday. We got up a little earlier than usual, had our weekly fellowship at Waffle House, and I took her to the airport. Don’t fret. I was still able to get to church on time.

Then she sent me a text message during church. (See, I was a good boy and set my phone to vibrate so the sermon was not interrupted by an annoying ringer. Instead it was interrupted by me spasming in my pew while my phone vibrated in my pocket in a way that made me feel un-Christian.)

It seems that the Wisconsinese weather was bad (unlike the beautiful, sunny day we had here, high in the upper 70’s) and her flight was delayed, then delayed so more, and finally canceled. (Yes, I was “filled with the Spirit” in my pants several times during the sermon.) I had to stay after church and clean erasers due to my vibrating pants, so a friend of ours got Tammy back home.

Tammy’s flight was rescheduled for 7 AM this morning and because Tammy is a model citizen she wanted to get to the airport an hour or so early. (I’ve learned that when Tammy says, “an hour or so,” it translates to what I call, “about two hours.”) So if you do the math, that means I got up at that hour which I still refuse to believe exists (<whispers>five-ay-em</whispers>) and drove her to the airport again.

This time the flight went smoothly and, as I type this, she is learning all about the Wiscon people. Maybe she’ll be able to tell me why they wear cheese on their heads. I’ve always wondered. Maybe it’s good for your hair. *shrug*