Once again, I find myself five posts behind and several days late on the latest news. Jeez, this information age keeps burying me in information!

So, today, I am forced to do another bulk post to get myself caught up. I now present this week’s Non-News Update! <Big Fanfare />

The pundits that be continue to butt heads regarding the tragedy du jour, Hurricane Katrina. In one of the saddest displays of unbrained journalism I’ve ever read, the New York Times published an opinion piece by Bruce Babbitt in which Mr. Babbitt insists that Congress must determine whether or not to rebuild New Orleans. He states, “New Orleans will survive only as an island surrounded by miles of open water.” I don’t even know where to begin debunking this pile of monkey hurlage.

First, Congress (as in the legislative branch of the federal government) should have absolutely no say in the future of New Orleans. New Orleans has its own city and county governments, not to mention the State of Louisiana, all of which are rightly in charge of their own jurisdiction. You would think Mr. Babbitt, who did time on President Clinton’s cabinet, would understand that we live in a federal republic where state’s rights are held sacred… most of the time.

Second, New Orleans is still there. Yes, there is much damage and muck to be dealt with, but Mr. Babbitt makes it sound as if the city had been scraped into the sea.

Third, Mr. Babbitt bases his hypothesis on the scare-tactic rhetoric of tree-hugging, global warming, fear mongers (of which he is a shining example) who have been proven wrong scientifically over and over again. The theory that “sea levels are likely to rise two to three feet in this century.” is based entirely on the fuzzy math of ice cap depletion.

None of this should come as any surprise given Mr. Babbitt’s track record (which you can see more of here). This guy is an A-1 eco-nazi nut-job.

Now, allow your gaze to drift to the right were the other end of the political spectrum has discovered some striking evidence in defense of our good Mr. Bush.

As you may know, President Gee-Dub, speaking the press, accepted responsibility for the quality of the response to victims of Katrina. What you may not know is that the quality of the response was, in fact, better than that of previous hurricanes. The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette published an opinion piece which includes a remarkable quote from an Army National Guardsman who has been deployed in many similar disaster relief efforts:

“The federal response here was faster than Hugo, faster than Andrew, faster than Iniki, faster than Francine and Jeanne.”

The article goes on to point out that, after Hurricane Andrew, it took five days for the National Guard to organize and arrive on the scene in Florida. In Louisiana, however, the guard was there in only three days. So, if the government was racist in its Katrina recover effort, then the 2002 government must have really had it in for all those poor, elderly, caucasian retirees in Florida!

A former Air Force logistics officer is also quoted with regard to the MSM‘s false charges:

“We do not yet have teleporter or replicator technology like you saw on ‘star Trek’ in college between hookah hits and waiting to pick up your worthless communications degree… You cannot just snap your fingers and make the military appear somewhere.

Strangely, the media has not made much of the roughly 2,000 municipal and school buses in New Orleans which were not utilized to take people out of the city before Katrina struck.

The Mexican Army is on American soil for the first time 150 years, but this time it has nothing to do with the Alamo.

45 trucks crossed the border last Friday carrying about 200 military personel (and about 800 “undocumented volunteers”… Juuuust kidding!). Fifteen trucks are loaded with water, which, of course, hurricane victims have been warned not to drink. (Pah-dum-tshh) Click here to see exclusive pictures of the convoy just before crossing the border.

The Mexican government also announced that it had dispatched a Mexican Navy cruiser to the Mississippi coast, pictured here.

In a follow-up to several previous posts, the woman who claimed to have found a human finger in her Wendy’s chili, along with her co-conspirator husband, pled guilty to attempted grand theft and other charges relating to her false claim.

David Boyd, from the District Attorney’s office, said, “Thankfully, law enforcement thwarted their successful efforts at theft.” Uhhhh, right. I think he means that the cops discovered the plot before it succeeded. Anyway…

Anna Ayala faces up to ten years in prison for her failed fast food finger finding fraud. (Oooh! Impressive alliteration!) Several employees of the San Jose Wendy’s franchise were laid off after sales dropped 70% in the wake of Ayala’s false claim.

Her attorney voiced her remorse. “There are a lot of people that work for Wendy’s that were harmed. She always felt a lot of remorse about that.” Umm… “She always felt a lot…” Googly moogly, don’t you have to take a couple of English classes to get a law degree?