And now… WBQotW #30!! (Does this mean SYNS is “middle-aged”?)

If you could choose any color from a box of 64 crayons, which one would you eat?

The story I posted yesterday extolling the virtues of a proper geek-mate may have some of my faithful readers scouring chess club and Star Wars fan fictions web sites looking for Mr. Right. But I feel it is my duty to temper your enthusiasm somewhat.

While there is no doubt that a Geek makes the best lover (case in point… me *wink*), Geekdom does not come without a price. Allow me to share with you an article by an experienced, Geek-loving, young lady.

“Emily”, as she calls herself, has offered a guild to “Dating an Apple Developer”. While her guide is specifically tailored to the Steve Jobs set, most of her observations also translate readily into the realms of Bill Gates and Linus Torvalds. (If you don’t know who those people are, you’d better do more homework before throwing yourself at a prospective Geek. On second thought, if you’re really hot, it won’t matter that much.)

Thanks, Emily, for your inspired work. (She has a funny picture of her geek installing a memory upgrade. See. A REAL geek’s eyes literally light up when he gets to install an upgrade!)

On a side note, you may have noticed the unusual verbosity of this post. For that, I apologize. My brain is stuck in high-speech as I spent the morning reading 16th-century religious texts and Orthodoxy vs. Dispensationalism debates. I think I may have pulled something in my cerebellum. (I should have stretched first.)

An article in the New York Daily News sheds light on what I (and many of my friends and colleagues) have known for years. The title of the article is “Nerds make better lovers”. Heya beeeautiful!

How many times have I said this?! People, I’m not lying here. Geek is sheik! Get used to it!

A tree never hits an automobile except in self-defense.

Actually, I just thought of something. What about when a tree falls on an automobile. Hmm.

To see more WBQotW, click the “<More>” link on the upper right of this page.

All too often mass media reports stories that are not news to anyone except maybe mass media. You know what I’m talking about. How many times have you read head-lines like:

I.T. Managers Hate Buggy Software

Some Hollywood Romances Are More P.R. Than Love

Student’s Don’t Learn Much in Last Few Weeks Before Vacation

Solution to Stinky Subways is Regular Bathing

I think you see where I’m going with this. Recently, another story high on the “duh” scale has seen a lot of press.

An AP-AOL poll on American’s views of Hollywood shows that 69% or respondents feel movie stars are bad role models. Now, pardon me for a moment. … DUUUHH!!! … ahem … Sorry about that. Couldn’t help myself.

Earl Ledbetter, a movie fan quoted in one of the many articles on this poll, said, “They just don’t have the morals,” he said. “They marry and divorce, sleep around a lot.”

Wow. Who knew? I thought all those movie stars were the best source around for political, social, and moral standards. You mean those people who make millions of dollars by pretending have bad morals and pretending to have sex with everything that moves do in fact have bad morals and have sex with everything that moves?! NOOO!! Martha! Get the kids! We’re moving to an anti-Hollywood convent to save ourselves from the Devil’s celluloid sin!!

You can read the full article in many places, but here is a couple:
CBC
Yahoo News

To Kraft Foods CEO Roger Deromedi, EVP Marc Firestone, et al.

Dear sirs:

I have been an avid Oreo fan my entire life. I have vivid memories of enjoying their creamy centers when I was barely old enough to sit upright at the table. I knew that my bologna had a first name (It’s O-s-c-a-r.) before I knew my own middle name. There are many Kraft products that have been a part of my life, so engrained that I hardly realized they were there until the day I realized I had to be rid of them.

You see, before I knew that I wished I was an Oscar Meyer wiener, I knew that Jesus loved me (for the Bible told me so). My faith in God comes before my addiction to Oreos. Thus, I must put my beliefs in the precepts of Christian living, including sexual purity, above my reliance on Kraft products.

I was saddened when I learned that Kraft’s leadership stands firmly against the God I worship on the subject of homosexuality. I was surprised to hear the obstinance with which the executives at Kraft have responded to requests to reconsider this policy. And so now, with heart-broken determination, I must inform you that I am laying aside the above mentioned, engrained parts of my life to join the American Family Association’s boycott of Kraft products.

Farewell beloved Oreos. Perhaps when you set aside your blind tolerance of dangerous and immoral practices, we can resume our relationship.

Sincerely,
Trint Ladd

You can read more about Kraft’s commitment to the Homosexual Adjenda at AFA.net.

For the first time in the history of SYNS, I have ten incomplete articles queued up. That means I have ten great tid-bits of wit and wisdom to share with you, but I have not had the time to polish them, finish them, or in some cases, even type them up. I have a couple of articles that, so far, are nothing more than a link to a news story. So what gives?!

The answer is simple. After several months of frustrating road blocks in my day job (long story, don’t ask) the flood gates have opened. Productivity… Yaaay! Finally, my cohorts and I are busy almost all day with projects. We are getting things done. But the successes which put food on my table have come at the expense of the projects for which my only compensation has been personal satisfaction. In short, my hobby projects have been put on the back burner.

Not only is my poor old blog languishing, my Ultima Online world building project has been pushed back a couple of months, at least, and my gaming time has slowed to a trickle.

But fear not, faithful readers. I shall endeavor to forge ahead. I pledge upon my Geekness to deliver fresh silliness and crisp wit once again on a more regular basis.

Thank you for your time. Now I must make up the five minutes I spent on this post by simultaneously debugging a .NET application and designing a drop-dead-gorgeous web interface… AT THE SAME TIME!! Yeah, I’m cool like that. Ph34r my l33t r0xx0r $kilz, noob. (That’s “leet speak” for, “I am better than you.”)

Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.

WBQotW #28 is from the “Worst Analogies Ever”.

As you may know, I am the drama leader at Glenview Baptist Church. Having been in contact with my uncle, a Viet Nam vet, and my nephew, a veteran of Operation Iraqi Freedom, I wanted to do something special for Memorial Day.

Not to be confused with Veteran’s Day (which honors all veterans, living and dead), Memorial Day is a day to pay tribute to those killed in military service. It began as a day on which the widows of Confederate soldiers would go out and lay flowers on the graves of fallen soldiers.

I contacted Uncle Robert, who is a Legionnaire, about some material for my tribute. He sent me a script called “What Is a Vet?” I took this and adapted it for Memorial Day. The tribute was read this past Sunday, May 29th, by Brigadier General Bill Guy. Click the links below to hear the audio from the service. (These files are pretty big, so you may want to right click on the link and choose “Save Target As”.)

MemorialDayTribute.mp3
MemorialDayTribute.wma (Windows Media)

And the script can be found here: WhatIsAVeteran.doc