Customer: I just arrived at my lake house for the summer, and the satellite TV isn’t working! Why is it off?!

Customer Service Rep.: Sir, please stay calm. It’s simple: we just need to reset your receiver since you’ve been away for a while.

C: How long will that take?

CSR: It’s easy, sir. Do you have a potato handy?

C: Um, let me see… (Pause) Yes, we just picked some up at the store on our way in — stocking up.

CSR: Great, sir. An apple would also work. Now, what I need you to do is to cut that potato in half. Then I need you place one half of the potato face-down on top of your receiver. Please make sure it’s dry.

C: What?

CSR: Trust me, sir, I’m a professional. We’ll have your service back on in no time.

C: Okay… (Long Pause) Alright, done. Now what?

CSR: Great, sir. The potato will act upon your receiver’s magnetic field and will bring the service back online momentarily. It’s a built-in security feature so that no one can use your dish while you’re away for most of the year.

CSR sends a reset request, satellite transmits ‘wake up’ signal to inactive receiver, TV comes on.

C: That’s amazing! Who’d have thought… a potato! Will this work every time?

CSR: Just give us a call if you have any problems in the future, and thank you for using this service.

(Rudely ripped from Overheard in the Office.)

The holidays are almost over and like most of 2006, for me, it has gone by in a blur. This year certainly had its ups and downs. But I figure they all even out pretty well, making this year “ok” on the official super secret year ranking system.

Now, to get us all ready for 2007, I offer you the final WBQotW for 2006. Be safe and God bless you all.

He who breaks a resolution is a weakling;
He who makes one is a fool.