It’s been a while since I gave everyone a good “what’s going on in my life” update. And there is a lot going on!

I’m going to be pulling long hours for a couple more days on my project at work. We’re making some changes that effect almost every area of the code that I work on. I’m sure there will be a lot of debugging and testing in the weeks to come. And I’m prepared, mentally and spiritually, for a few days of chaos when something major breaks on the live servers.

On the home front, Tammy and I spent our first day of real, live, actual house shopping Saturday. Our realtor took us inside about a half dozen homes. We learned what we don’t like more than what we do, but did come away with a couple of hopefuls. We toured one house that was flat out amazing, but is listed well above our target price. If we come back to that one, we’ll have to place a low-ball bid.

The fact that we are house shopping is testimony to the fact that we paid off our debt. That was our goal before buying a home. We paid off somewhere around $40,000 in about seven years. If you want to know how, drop a comment and I’d be glad to fill you in.

Another big event recently was our 10 year wedding anniversary. Memorial Day weekend we went out on the town (despite me battling a cold) and had a great time. (You should have seen some twitter posts on this.) But the real celebration will begin this Thursday. We are taking a couple days off and going on a major trip. It’s only a long weekend (that’s all I can afford to take off work right now), but it’s going to be a blast.

The kicker is that Tammy doesnt’ know where we’re going. She’s not real keen on surprises, but I wanted this to be extra super special. She’s drilled me for weeks trying to catch a hint here and there. She even tried (and failed) to hack into my Expedia account. Relentless!

Check in on Twitter or Facebook Thursday for the big reveal.

I really dislike it when my life gets like this. And it happens so often! I can’t even remember how many times I’ve posted to this blog talking about how busy or behind I am and how I’m missing out on such great blog-worthy topics. Bah!

There’s a socialist nut-job, armed with nukes, making all kinds of threatening statements about how, if the world doesn’t cut him some slack, he’s going ruin us all. And that’s just Obama!

Don’t even get me started on North Korea!

Alas, there’s just no time to expound. I’ve got a hard push for a major project at work. I’ve got a ton of code to sling before Tammy and I go on our anniversary trip to…

Ha ha! Not so fast! It’s a secret. Tammy doesn’t know where we’re going (despite her best efforts). Keep up with us on Twitter on June 4th and you’ll find out as soon as she does.

I just can’t hit “Publish” without at least mentioning Bronco Bomber’s racist, sexist, Supreme Court nominee. That chick is a complete nut job. Please God, bestow some juevos on the Conservatives in Congress that they might actually speak up and oppose this horrible appointment.

Memorial Day is passed. Summer is here. Time to clean out your closets and get ready for all your warm weather hobbies!

For Sale: Parachute. Only used once. Never opened. Small stain.

I firmly believe that I could not survive in Japan. Tom Selleck made it work in Mr. Baseball, barely, but I’m pretty sure I’m just not tough enough.

I don’t like sea food (Especially when it’s not cooked!), I don’t like karaoke, and I don’t like anime.

In case you have any doubt about just how weird Japan is, check out this trailer for their latest video game release for the Wii. If you suffer from seizures, you may not want to watch this. I’ve never had one, but I felt like I had by the time this video was over!

Nope. I’d never survive.

Vice President Joe “Foot-In-Mouth” Biden leveled the playing field today. Don’t worry about his policies that put American lives at risk (weak border security, wrist-slapping terrorists, anti-military idiocy, etc.) because today, he put his own life at risk.

While shooting the breeze at a fancy-pants dinner with the “media elite”, he revealed the location of the top secret VP bunker (made famous when Dick Cheney spent 9/11 in it). So now any terrorist with internet access knows exactly where Diahrea-Mouth Joe will be during the next attack.

When the poo hit the fan about Joe spilling top secret info, his press secretary responded with a firm, “Nuh uh!”

Seriously. Read it all here.

Parting thought: If a lesser public servant had screwed up that bad, he’d be facing treason charges. Just sayin’.

WARNING: Hanging out with teenagers may expose you to unusual and not-well-thought-out statements.

Dude! We should tap dance!
– Kason Bryden

Please oh please someone buy me the “too big to fail” shirt! (2XL please, cuz… you know… I’m too big. *ba-dump-tshh*)

I’ve had my head down, trying to get forward momentum on a project at work. That’s my excuse for letting Wednesday creep up on me without putting up a new whiteboard quip. I had a really good one in mind, too. But, to give it a fair shake, I have to wait for next Monday.

So, instead of giving you a quip, I’ll just tell you a funny story. How’s that?

Several months ago, Tammy and I were in an unfamiliar part of town. I was driving down a major street when Tammy suddenly gasped and exclaimed, “WHAT?!”

My heart jumped (the way it always does when I’m driving and someone in the car gasps suddenly). “Don’t DO that! It makes me think we’re about to crash or something.”

“Sorry, but did you see that restaurant back there?”

“You mean the ‘Lebanese Grill’? Yeah, that’s weird, but why the freakout?”

“OH! Lebanese! I thought it said, ‘Lesbian Grill’. What kind of restaurant is that?!”

I’ll let your imagination try and figure out exactly what a “Lesbian Grill” would serve.

Here’s a fun way to kill time. Put the lyrics to your favorite song (poem, movie quote, Bible verse, whatever) into one free, online translator, then put the translated text into a second free, online translator and see how screwed up the resulting English comes out. It’s like the old telephone game but better!

Here’s a verse from U2’s “Pride (In the Name of Love)”

One man caught on a barbed wire fence.
One man he resists.
One man washed on an empty beach.
One man betrayed with a kiss.

I put that into Yahoo’s Babelfish to get a Spanish translation. Then I copied the Spanish into Google’s Translate. Here’s the result.

A man caught in a man near one of the barbed wire that he opposes.
A man washed on an empty beach man betrayed with a kiss.

I tried it again, this time Google first and I used German as the carrier. This was better, but aparently, barbed wire didn’t translate at all.

A man imprisoned on a Stacheldrahtzaun.
A man holds.
A man washed on an empty beach.
A man with a kiss betray.

True of false: The United States of America is a Democracy.

No matter what you think the correct answer is, watch this video to learn the truth.

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