This week’s white board quip was chosen scientifically to be the best quip possible for this moment in time. In other words, I opened the database, closed my eyes, and scrolled up and down before clicking on this one.

Seriously.

I felt like a Coolidge dollar sandwiched between two Hoover chickens.
– Ask-a-Ninja

This should please my father who complained that the “pancake one” wasn’t even funny and it had been up for “weeks” . Yes. Two. Sorry, Pa. Is this better?

I’ve been waiting for this day for over a decade.

I remember vividly when the very first “Super Walmart” opened in Amarillo in the late 1990’s. They had groceries and they were open 24 hours. Back then, the only things open 24 hours in Amarillo were a few gas stations and the Waffle House. (Come to think of it, excluding Walmart, that may still be true.)

I also vividly remember my first, late-night visit. It was just after 2 AM. I waited in the car while some friends ran in for some late-night essentials. (It wasn’t booze, and other than that, I can’t think of anything that qualifies as a “late-night essential”, but still…)

My eyes grew wide in amazement at the circus of mulleted, flip-flop clad, beer-gutted wonders strolling in and out of the store with their late-night essentials. (This time, yes, I mean booze.) Since then, this day has been an inevitability.

It has come: People of Walmart, the photo blog. Check it out. And, if you catch one of those rare creatures, be sure you have your camera handy so you can submit your own siting.

I’m telling you, we live in a Star Trek world! (Yeah yeah, I know. Put away your light sabers. I know I’m mixing my sci-fi worlds. Get over it.)

Here in the U.S. most of our robot tech is driven by defense contracts (like trucks that can autonomously navigate battle fields, and armed unmanned helicopters). But in Japan, it’s pretty much about sexism entertainment. And after seeing the video below, I have to admit, they’re making shocking advances.

It was only a few years ago that a bi-pedal robot was only possible with hundreds of pounds of computing power on board. Even Honda’s diminutive Asimo looked like he was wearing a bulky space suit. Those japs have put their robots on a run-way model style diet and have come out with… well… a run-way model. Seriously!

Here she is in her first real-live run-way show.

Ok, all you prayer warriors out there. I’ve got some requests for you.

Tammy’s getting her ankle rebuilt (again) in about a week. She’ll be in a hard cast for 6 weeks beginning Labor Day weekend. Pray for peace.

Tammy’s dad is facing heart surgery somewhere in that same time frame. We’re hoping he gets to come down and see the house before then. Pray for peace.

My aunt is recovering (slowly) from open heart surgery. (You can follow the progress here.) Pray for peace.

My mom and my sister have some issues that could use prayer. (In Baptist land, we call these “unspoken” requests.) Pray for peace.

There are countless people in my church family who are struggling with unemployment. Pray for peace.

We’ve had some soldiers close to us come home healthy from the Middle East. We are grateful, but we know there are a lot of folks still in harms way over there. Pray for peace.

Philippians 4:6-7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

At first, I thought the Cash for Clunkers plan was just some retarded, tree-hugger scheme get evil, Gaia-hating, SUV drivers (like me) to get rid of their planet killing vehicles by using their evil, consumption-loving, capitalism against them. While there may be some modicum of truth to that, I had an epiphone today: There is a much better and more logical theory.

Cash for clunkers requires that “clunkers” traded it be destroyed. Here’s a video of a perfectly good and healthy Corvette being put to sleep. (If you view this at Youtube [by clicking on the video or the link below it], you’ll notice a long list of “related videos” showing other expensive, healthy cars put to pasture.)

It was after watching this, that it occurred to me: Cash for Clunkers was just a proof of concept, a test, and it passed with flying colors. Now that Americans have proven that they are willing turn over perfectly good vehicles to be destroyed for a few thousand bucks, The Bronco Bomber has all the leverage he needs to move on to the real implimentation: Cash for Codgers!

That’s right! I expect to see the plan go public in early in 2010. I’m sure the numbers are still being worked out, but I figured $1 million would be a real bargain for taking your otherwise happy and healthy grand-dad out of the medicare pool.

God, please let the this remain a bad joke and not reality.

Death planning is not equal to health care. Just like abortion is not equal to family planning and driving your car full-speed into a utility pole is not equal to “maintenance”.

Here’s a short quote from a really good article on the subject:

According to Ben Smith over at Politico, President Barack Obama gave some theological weight to his health care plan during a phone call to a group of Rabbis the other day.  Referring to the belief that God decides during the Jewish New Year “who shall live and who shall die,” Obama told the rebs, “We are God’s partners in matters of life and death.”

In response to this statement I would like to make a subtle theological point:  No, we’re not.  For those of you who aren’t versed in the finer points of theology, let me try to simplify that for you:  No.  We’re not.  Or to put it even more simply:  No.  We.  Are.  Not.

And lest you miss out, I just have to share this gem from further down the in the article:

Oh, but I forgot that was only Jesus.  This is Barack Obama we’re talking about.

That’s right, kiddies! So if you’ve got something on your mind that you’ve been dying to tell your significant other, but you’ve been hesitant because you know it will cause a massive fight, today’s the day!! Be sure to air out all that dirty laundry today so that tomorrow you can celebrate Kiss and Make Up Day with flair!!

I hope and pray that there is a special place in hell for the people who thought this was a good idea:

#1 – These pre-lit Christmas trees look like they came from the Skittles factory. Blue, purple, yellow, orange, red and even black!

#2 – It’s FREAKING AUGUST!! Garden Ridge has all of their Christmas decorations on sale (including some of the most God-aweful inflatable blasphame) and it’s FREAKING AUGUST!!!

The to-do list at the house is getting shorter every day. But it’s still pretty long.

This weekend…

Hung the climbing wall. (Hooray!)
Parked one car in the garage. (Double Hooray!!)
Took delivery of the “snuggler” and end table, the last of our living room furniture.
Hung the whiteboard in the office.
Purchased and used electric hedge trimmer to cut the bushes away from the front windows. (They were scratching into the window screens.)
Purchased and used lawn mower and weed whacker to manicure the lawns.
Purchased and used a garden hose to bring some life back to the flora until we get time to figure out the sprinkler system.

And I swear it was completely by accident (or perhaps subconscious nurosis) that I bought a yellow garden hose that matches *both* of our yellow cars. (Cell phone pic.)

This is golden! Every church youth, parent, and church staff member should watch this video. We are the Youth Mini-Starz! WORD!

Thanks, Scott H., for sending this on! (Psst. Scott is a youth mini-star!)