At first, I thought the Cash for Clunkers plan was just some retarded, tree-hugger scheme get evil, Gaia-hating, SUV drivers (like me) to get rid of their planet killing vehicles by using their evil, consumption-loving, capitalism against them. While there may be some modicum of truth to that, I had an epiphone today: There is a much better and more logical theory.

Cash for clunkers requires that “clunkers” traded it be destroyed. Here’s a video of a perfectly good and healthy Corvette being put to sleep. (If you view this at Youtube [by clicking on the video or the link below it], you’ll notice a long list of “related videos” showing other expensive, healthy cars put to pasture.)

It was after watching this, that it occurred to me: Cash for Clunkers was just a proof of concept, a test, and it passed with flying colors. Now that Americans have proven that they are willing turn over perfectly good vehicles to be destroyed for a few thousand bucks, The Bronco Bomber has all the leverage he needs to move on to the real implimentation: Cash for Codgers!

That’s right! I expect to see the plan go public in early in 2010. I’m sure the numbers are still being worked out, but I figured $1 million would be a real bargain for taking your otherwise happy and healthy grand-dad out of the medicare pool.

God, please let the this remain a bad joke and not reality.

Death planning is not equal to health care. Just like abortion is not equal to family planning and driving your car full-speed into a utility pole is not equal to “maintenance”.

Here’s a short quote from a really good article on the subject:

According to Ben Smith over at Politico, President Barack Obama gave some theological weight to his health care plan during a phone call to a group of Rabbis the other day.  Referring to the belief that God decides during the Jewish New Year “who shall live and who shall die,” Obama told the rebs, “We are God’s partners in matters of life and death.”

In response to this statement I would like to make a subtle theological point:  No, we’re not.  For those of you who aren’t versed in the finer points of theology, let me try to simplify that for you:  No.  We’re not.  Or to put it even more simply:  No.  We.  Are.  Not.

And lest you miss out, I just have to share this gem from further down the in the article:

Oh, but I forgot that was only Jesus.  This is Barack Obama we’re talking about.

That’s right, kiddies! So if you’ve got something on your mind that you’ve been dying to tell your significant other, but you’ve been hesitant because you know it will cause a massive fight, today’s the day!! Be sure to air out all that dirty laundry today so that tomorrow you can celebrate Kiss and Make Up Day with flair!!

I hope and pray that there is a special place in hell for the people who thought this was a good idea:

#1 – These pre-lit Christmas trees look like they came from the Skittles factory. Blue, purple, yellow, orange, red and even black!

#2 – It’s FREAKING AUGUST!! Garden Ridge has all of their Christmas decorations on sale (including some of the most God-aweful inflatable blasphame) and it’s FREAKING AUGUST!!!

The to-do list at the house is getting shorter every day. But it’s still pretty long.

This weekend…

Hung the climbing wall. (Hooray!)
Parked one car in the garage. (Double Hooray!!)
Took delivery of the “snuggler” and end table, the last of our living room furniture.
Hung the whiteboard in the office.
Purchased and used electric hedge trimmer to cut the bushes away from the front windows. (They were scratching into the window screens.)
Purchased and used lawn mower and weed whacker to manicure the lawns.
Purchased and used a garden hose to bring some life back to the flora until we get time to figure out the sprinkler system.

And I swear it was completely by accident (or perhaps subconscious nurosis) that I bought a yellow garden hose that matches *both* of our yellow cars. (Cell phone pic.)