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White Board Ewww of the Week

I’m sorry. I have to do it.

Sorry I’m late. I had to drown a burrito.
– Wally

I know. I said I was sorry. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go wash my brain.

Another Nail

It seems like every day I see another nail added to the global warming coffin. This one was particularly good. Good enough to be blog-worthy.

The Un scientific panel for global warming proselytation, known as the IPCC, will very likely be forced to retract a warning that the Himalayas will be ice free by 2035.

The official Un report was based on a single scientific article published ten years ago which was, in turn, based on a single telephone interview with an Indian scientist who, in turn, based his information on an unpublished and unreviewed report, which, as it turns out, did not mention any specific date for the Himalayan glaciers to melt. That same Indian scientist now admits that the data from his interview was “speculation” and was not supported by any formal research.

Good job, Un. With this kind of rigorous scientific investigation, you’re doing the skeptics job for them. Keep up the good work!

Clicky clicky for the Times (UK) article.

Notes and Neurons

Bobby McFerrin at the World Science Festival performed this demonstration of how music is ingrained in our brains to the point we can, universally, predict and perform music. Keep in mind that the audience here is primarily scientists, not artists. That makes it all the more impressive.

[vimeo 5732745 500]

If you have time (about an hour) and the interest, you can see the entire session at the links below.

1 of 5: Ten minutes of Bobby McFerrin’s improvisational music. Not beat-box. Not scat. Something in between. Relaxing and fascinating. He also introduces audience interaction which opens the question, “How do our brains pick up on musical cues so easily?” Then five minutes of discussion with the scientists.

2 of 5: Now for the science. Discussion of brain study, the physics of music, etc.

3 of 5: Cultural differences in the mechanics of music and brain expectations.

4 of 5: Do tonal expectations come from nature or nurture? This contains the video displayed above.

5 of 5: More improvisational music with Eastern and Western artists performing with Bobby.

Global Climate Change: The Sky Is NOT Falling

The Sky Is NOT Falling Ok folks. I’ve been hording up links for years and putting this off for far too long. Today, I read a story that broke the polar bear’s back. (Don’t worry. It’s linked below.)

Are you ready for the news flash? Here it is:

The global warming crisis is a lie!

There. Now, don’t you feel better? No? Ok. How about this:

The hole it the ozone layer is a lie!

Still not feeling all warm and fuzzy? Ok.

The acid rain crisis is a lie!

The end of fossil fuels is a lie!

The dangers of coal and nuclear energy is a lie!

The extinction of the whales is a lie!

The deforestation crisis is a lie!

The global over-population crisis is a lie!

Are you starting to see a pattern yet? Well. Let me spell it out for you, just to be sure.

All, yes each and every one, of the above manufactured, sky-is-falling catastrophes were created by, more or less, the same people, for, more or less, the same reason. There are people in this world who truly and religiously believe that mankind is a virus. That you and me and our TVs and our running water and our big fast-food-fed butts are enemies of their beloved Earth. These people really and truly believe that the only way to save their blessed planet is to reverse human productivity, progress, comfort, and happiness (and thus reduce human population).

You might think I’m exaggerating, but, sadly, I’m just scratching the surface. Now, I’m not going to go into all of the psychosis and human-hating logic. All I want to do in this post is expose their modus operandi.

Here’s how it works:

  1. The current eco-crisis of the day begins to lose favor when the supposed catastrophe doesn’t materialize, or the media starts to lose interest, or actual scientists manage to find their way into the main stream far enough to debunk the scare tactics.
  2. A new eco-crisis must be created and it must meet the following criteria:
    1. It must be tangible. It has to be something people can point to and/or touch and say, “See! The sky IS falling!” (ex. “Hurricane Katrina was awful! Darn that global warming!”)
    2. It must be something impossible (or at least very difficult) to disprove. (ex. “How can you say there is no such thing as acid rain. Prove it!”)
    3. It must be something so terrible that it would cause (were it true) human suffering on a massive scale. (ex. “If we cut down all the trees, there will be no more oxygen for your children to breath!”)
    4. The only possible solution to the crisis must involve curtailing, taxing, regulating, or in some other way decreasing human convenience. (ex. “The only way to save the world is for you to sell your big, safe, convenient SUV and buy a cardboard tissue box with wheels.”)
    5. As an added bonus, the crisis and it’s imaginary resolution should be profitable for the people who join the cause. This way, they’ll be well funded and/or carry political clout that can be spent on the next eco-crisis when this one peters out. (ex.**ALBERT FREAKING GORE**)
  3. Now, to get the word out. Conveniently, 90% of the Lame-Stream Media is populated by ex-Berkeley-hippies who thrive on sensationalizing suffering and making everyone who is happy feel guilty about it.
  4. After it’s had some time to soak in the nightly news… You know, a pseudo-scientific report here, bit of clever video editing there… It’s time for Mr. Smith to head to Washington. Thank goodness that politicians build their careers on public sentiment rather than facts.
  5. Now that this newly minted crisis is in the forefront and; through careful planning, back-door deals, and out-and-out fraud; the critics have been kept at bay (ex. “Denying global warming is on par with denying the Holocaust!“); it’s time to brain wash the children. Make sure that all the cartoons and kids shows are reinforcing our crisis. “Remember kids, your mommy’s SUV is polluting the sky and killing cuddly wuddly polar bears! We may have to cancel Christmas!
  6. At this point, just ride the wave, collect as much fame and money as you can before the crisis-de-jour begins to ebb.
  7. Rinse and repeat.

I want you to look this over carefully. I want you to really internalize it. Study it. Know it. Why? Because I am now certain that we are at the tipping point. In the next few years, global warming is going to peter out.

It’s very likely dead already…
“Climategate”
“Gore either lying or just terribly stupid”
And the final nail: “The Mini-Ice-Age has begun”

But this time, thanks to smart people like you and me, and thanks to this marvelous series of tubes, things might just go a little differently.

See, the global warming crisis set a new precedent and it wasn’t a good one for the Earth hugging human haters. This was the first post-internet crisis. For the first time in human history, everyone, millions upon millions of people, have access to the new main stream medium. Smart people with real data can now tell the world the truth. In the next decade, more people will get their information from right here on the web than from the talking heads on the nightly news. Finally, there will be no filtering, no spinning, no iron-fisted control of the facts.

Plus, for the first time, you’ll be able to link back to my posts about the folly of global warming as you, on your blog, tell your readers about the equal folly of whatever is coming next. Let’s just hope it’s more creative than global cooling. Cuz, seriously, how many times are they going to try that? (Hint: I’ve already posted about it here.)

Hoppy New Jears

The holidays are over. What a whirlwind! Life’s been completely nutty around our house.

Over the last month we bought a new car, several pieces of furniture, and all the pieces and parts to complete our home theater. None of that was purchased on credit… well… except for the car, of course. But our car payment is actually lower than it was before and the loan has no interest.

We traded in Zippy, Tammy’s yellow 2003 Mazda 6, which had crested 100k miles and was showing it’s age. We bought a brand new, white 2010 Toyota Corolla S the week before Christmas. I’ve never bought a “real” new car, never thought I would, but we needed something with very low miles and good gas mileage and the used cars we looked at were very nearly the same price as the sale prices on the new cars. I guess the old rule about losing two grand when you sign the title doesn’t always apply. By the way, the new car has been christened “Frosty.”

In the mean time, Daisy, my 2003 Nissan Xterra is now paid off, so all that outgo can now be redirected to savings. (That is, saving up a big down payment for the truck that will replace Daisy when she wears out.)

As for the house, what a difference a month can make! The dining room is done; new table, chairs and rug; and it came in about $300 under budget thanks to holiday sales and some shrewd bargaining. The guest room is done; bed, mattress set, night stand, curtains and blinds; again about $200 under budget. The media room has a Craigslist love seat that’s less than six months old.

Our HD video projector, HD receiver, and 5.1 surround sound speakers are all in transit. I had set myself a $2000 budget for the home theater. When I consulted a local home theater specialty store, they literally laughed at that number. They said they’d never sold a package for less that $4k. (Gulp!) But they were kind enough to give me some advice on what brands and technology to look for. I was able to find the exact products they were pushing and my finished theater will come in at about $1500. Who’s laughing now?!

And finally, our big project over the NYE weekend was decking the garage attic with nine sheets of 3/4 inch plywood. It went up with no real drama. Tammy was a trooper and helped me get it done in half a day. The attic, now fully decked from edge to edge, is huge. We stored all our Christmas decor, winter and summer sporting goods, including 90% of our camping gear, and the attic is less than half full. (I can’t store some of my gear up there because it’s not climate controlled.)

Now we face a new and exciting 2010. (That’s “twenty-ten.”) We’re hosting youth events starting the end of January. I got a role in Stage Right Theater’s dessert theater (which plays every year around Valentine’s day). It’s another murder mystery, this time set around a New York Italian restaurant. That means that I have a new accent to master and I won’t see my wife awake for the first two weeks of February.

Whew! That’s probably not all, but it’s all I have time to share. May your 2010 be blessed and full of God’s love, hope and fulfillment.

WBQotW #189

This week’s white board quip was chosen to reflect the work we’ve been doing on our house lately. It is, of course, based on the famous Mrs. Fletcher. (There’s even a song!)

Help, I’ve fallen and I can’t… Hey, nice carpet!

No, we didn’t install new carpet, but we did get a new rug. And no one fell or needed LifeAlert. More details to follow.

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