I’m your huckleberry.
– Doc Holliday (“Tombstone”)

That is all. Move along. Nothing to see here.

Thank goodness for Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid and their buddies in Congress. We can all rest easier tonight knowing that they are working hard to save our country.

Recently, they past a bill that is so important that it that it was brought to the floor even though Congress is too busy to approve the 2011 budget until after the first week of November. (Now, wasn’t there something important about this November? Gee, I can’t remember.)

And what is this super important, earth shaking, universe altering law? The law requires that in any existing federal laws, the term “mentally retarded” must be replaced with “an individual with an intellectual disability.” Can I get a, “Amen!”And please raise my taxes to pay the legal clerks dug through mountains of legislation in order to carry this out!! Cuz it’s that important.

I am so proud to be an American, and can’t wait to exercise my right to vote out these “individuals with intellectual disabilities” currently in office.

[Actually, I don’t have that right, because all three of the Right–Wing–Conservative crazy Republicans that represent me are doing their level best to stop the maddness.]

Clicky for the full story.

Maybe not my best work (several flubs in there, if you know the script), but fun to perform. This was for a women’s ministry dinner.

P.S. This was my first (and hopefully last) time in baseball pants.

…In case you didn’t know.

I continue to struggle with some back pain. It’s not debilitating, but it sure is irritating. I’ve pulled back muscles before, but after a day or two of rest, I was able to get back to normal life. But I guess I was younger then. Not so now.

So, in honor of realizing my mortality, I offer this week’s white board quip.

I intend to live forever – so far, so good.
-Steven Wright

I’ve never liked McDonald’s. It makes my mouth feel greasy. It makes my stomach feel heavy. It doesn’t taste quite right. There’s just something wrong about it.

When I saw “Super Size Me” a couple of years ago, I didn’t really see it as an attack on Mickey D’s. It did opened my eyes to American food trends in general: Out-of-control serving sizes, massive amounts of calories, sugar, and fat. And certainly McD’s has let the charge. But is there more to it than 44 oz. Cokes and too much salt?

I just found out about several studies into McDonald’s food shelf life. Clicky clicky to see a happy meal that has set out in the open for over a year. Not only has it not decomposed. It has not drawn any pests. Even ants and mice agree that McD’s is gross. The video below shows a four year old happy meal that looks nearly as good as the day it was served (compared to a three month old potato that does not). And here is a whopping 12-year-old McD’s hamburger.

And now, for the craziest of the crazies: A “Burger Museum” featuring McDonald’s sandwiches from every year since 1989. How about a nice, clean, decay free 18 year old hamburger? Sound yummy? No, I didn’t think so.

Here’s another story that should be all over the news but isn’t.

The crack-pot who stormed Discovery Channel headquarters with a gun left behind a manifesto. Have you seen anything on the lame-stream media about his motivation? Have any of the major news networks reported his demands? Nope. And here’s why:

James Lee was a tree-hugging, environmentalist whacko who experienced “awakening” thanks Al Gore’s propaganda. According to his web rants, Lee’s purpose for toting a gun into Discovery was to demand more air-time for global warming and population growth hate speech. In his own words [ed. Emphasis added]:

 The Discovery Channel and it’s affiliate channels MUST have daily television programs … where solutions to save the planet would be done. … Focus must be given on how people can live WITHOUT giving birth to more filthy human children since those new additions continue pollution and are pollution.

… [P]rograms encouraging human sterilization and infertility must be pushed.

… [T]alk about ways to disassemble civilization…

… Develop shows that will correct and dismantle the dangerous US world economy.

…All human procreation and farming must cease!

[ed. And here’s my personal favorite] … Nothing is more important than saving [wildlife]. The Lions, Tigers, Giraffes, Elephants, Froggies, Turtles, Apes, Raccoons, Beetles, Ants, Sharks, Bears, and, of course, the Squirrels. The humans? The planet does not need humans.

It goes on and on, but I think you get the idea. So, why would the (big “L”) Liberal media be so conspicuously silent? I know this argument is old and tired, but it’s still true. Let’s put the shoe on the other foot. Let’s say a armed man storms into Discovery Channel HQ demanding that they air more pro-life, anti-abortion programs or more pro-Christian programs. I’m pretty sure that would be headline news for at least a week, maybe more, delving deep into every nook of that man’s past, his evangelical roots, his ring-wing-nut political affiliations.

But what happens when the big news heads happen to agree with the crazy armed man (albeit to a less foaming-mouth crazy degree)? The story dies.

Just my observations and ruminations. Naturally, you have every right to disagree with me.

On a side note, I must give this one bit of praise to the former Mr. Lee. For the first time in my memory, an anti-human-population nut actually “lived it out” and took action to remove his own carbon footprint from Mother Earth (although, he could have saved the police one of their bullets by employing his own). Kudos for practicing what you preach. Now, if the rest of you eco-nut-buckets would follow suit, the rest of us could get on with our lives in peace.

Clicky clicky for the story that prompted this “awakening.”