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Nailed It

As a follow up to my rant on Netflix, Scott McKain, blogger at The Ultimate Customer Experience, posted a brilliant article dissecting the EPIC FAIL that is Netflix’s planned split. Here are some juicy bits to entice your clickage:

The problem is, Netflix’s letter — while well written — clearly displays a mistake of epic proportions.

Netflix isn’t a DVD-by-mail company, in the eyes of its customers. It’s not even a streaming-movies-on-your-computer-or-TV company. Netflix is where we go to get a movie.

Is there a difference between the business YOU think you are in — and what business your CUSTOMERS say you’re in? If there is…choose what THEY think! THEY are the reason YOU are still in business!

Now, go read the whole thing! DO IT!! (Clicky clicky.)

Today’s Groaner

Q: What is invisible and smells like carrots?

A: A rabbit fart.

(Honestly, I laughed at this one until my eyes leaked.)

If It Ain’t Broke…

The old saying goes, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” Following that logic, “If you know what you did to break it, doing that same thing more won’t fix it.”

This simple logic seems too hard to understand for Netflix.

Netflix has decided that their online streaming service is more valuable than it’s DVD by mail service. Several months ago, they announced a price increase for the streaming service, previously included for free in their higher tier memberships (like mine). This amounted to a 60% increase in my bill. I changed my membership to avoid this price increase. About 1 million subscribers flat out cancelled.

When Netflix boss, Reed Hastings, started a press release this weekend with “I messed up.”, I had some hope. That hope didn’t last beyond the second paragraph.

Ultimately, what Hastings “messed up” was jacking up prices with no added service. The delusion Hastings expresses in his press release is that the mistake was in communication. Wha?! “I need to be extra-communicative. This is the key thing I got wrong.” What are you smoking, man?!

The “key thing” is a 60% price increase, plain and simple!! The “key thing” is that you are raising prices for nothing! Splitting up services for nothing. Making my membership more complicated for nothing! I don’t give a flying crap about your level of communication.

Instead of fixing the problem, Netflix is going to make it even worse. They’re splitting the DVD business into a new company with a new name and, presumably, a new website and price model, completely separate from their streaming service, which will retain the Netflix monicker. So, if your price increase and service changes broke the system, the solution is not to further change the service and keep the stinking price increase!!

I loved Netflix. I touted Netflix to friends, family and blog readers. I even defended Netflix when people talked about the problems (like poor selection, some titles becoming unavailable, and how slow Netflix adds new releases). But you’ll notice all of those are in the past tense. Frankly, I’m pissed at Netflix right now. And it’ll take a lot for them to win me back.

At this moment, my Netflix account is “on hold.” That means my account is still there, my DVD queue (nearly 400 titles) is still there, but I’m not paying and they’re not sending. I’m one small step away from just canceling my membership. I don’t want to cancel. I want to get my DVDs. I want to stream some TV shows once in a blue moon. And I want to do both from one service, with one queue and one library of titles at one simple and competitive price.

*sigh*

But, I guess that’s just too much to ask. I guess logic is just too much for some people.

Today’s Groaner

Q: Why was the sand wet?

A: Because the sea weed on it.

Today’s Groaner

Do weight-conscious drug dealers sell diet coke?

Today’s Groaner

Q: How does Luke Skywalker get through the forrest?

A: Ewoks.

“He walks.” Jeez, people. If I have to explain it every time… *sigh*

WFHF: Web Cam

Just a quick personal update. (Clicky to watch on YouTube.)

Oh Snap!

I’ve not been real impressed with Ford’s real people press conference ad campaign. It feels too staged and scripted for me to believe it. But scripted or not, this one is just plain ballsy and I love it!

Ford ad slams government’s auto industry bailout.

Today’s Groaner

Q1: What is black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and…

A1: A penguin rolling down a hill.

Q2: What is black and white and laughing.

A2: The penguin that pushed him.

Instant Classic

I know everyone’s already seen this, but it’s just too funny not to share. And what’s best about this one is that it is crispy-ripe for parody. This should have more parodies than David After Dentist and Hide Yo Kids combined!!

You hear that YouTube?! I’m calling you out! Let’s see what you got!!

Webcam 101 for Seniors…. “That’s a pretty good monkey!”

(Warning: Grandpa is a dirty old man!! *grin*)

P.S. I just checked David After Dentist (to get the link) and it’s got almost 100 million views! That’s insane!

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