Q: Why couldn’t the vampire’s wife’s go to sleep?

A: Because of his coffin.

And that, ladies and germs, is the last of the groaners. At least for a while. I hope you enjoyed them as much as I did. And remember, bad jokes are made for sharing! You can go back and see the entire groaner series here: Clicky clicky.

Q: What do vegetarian zombies say?

A: “Graaaaains!”

This is the first trail Tammy and I have ridden above tree-line: Pomeroy Lakes. It’s only a few miles round trip, but it is a real butt-kicker. Check out the video to see why. (Clicky Part 1!Clicky Part 2!)

Q: What do vampire zombies say?

A: “Veeeeeins!”

It’s Work From Home Friday! Join me in my daily struggle: What t-shirt to wear?! (Clicky clicky!)

Q: How do you fix a broken jack-o-lantern?

A: With a pumpkin patch.

A blonde is looking to earn some money, so she goes door to door in a rich neighborhood asking for odd jobs. One man answers the door and says, “Well, my porch needs painting. I’ve already got the paint and brushes. I’ll pay you $100 to do the work.”

A short time later the blonde returns, paint stains on her hands and face. “It’s done!”

“Already? That was fast!” the man says. “Here’s your $100.”

“Thanks,” says the blonde, “and by the way. It’s not a porch. It’s a Ferrari!”

Q: What do you call a nosy pepper?

A: Jalapeno business.

…

Didn’t get it? Say it out loud. Again. Still no?

“Hal-up-in-yo business.”

Q: Why do seagulls live by the sea?

A: Because if they lived by the bay, they’d be bagels.

Today’s white board quip comes from that wealth of wisdom and humor, Dilbert. I can’t tell you how many conversations I’ve had that could best have been ended with this statement.

Is it ok if I just stare at you in disbelief?
– Dilbert