Just a quick video to check in. Doing the best I can with the… doo I have to do it with.

I grew up on the outskirts of Amarillo, Texas, less than five miles away from the Big Texan. If you’ve ever been on I-40 anywhere along it’s nation-wide stretch, you’ve probably seen a billboard touting their “FREE” 72 ounce steak. Yes, it’s for real. Yes, I’ve seen it. Yes, it’s free… IF you can eat it, a baked potato, a salad, a shrimp cocktail, and a dinner roll (about 4500 calories total) in under 60 minutes without a bathroom break (or even standing up to “pack it down”). If you don’t make it, you pay about $80.

Generally speaking, Big Texan is a tourist trap. The kind of place you should visit once, just to say you’ve been there, but the locals just kind of chuckle about. The food is good, but expensive. The atmosphere is comically cliché. And the seat-cushion sized steak is only attempted by “fariners.” (You know, ignorant yankees and such.).

So imagine my surprise when I saw the Big Texan on Good Morning America this morning! (Quintessential ignorant yankees!) One such “fariner” made a visit to Amarillo this weekend and records were broken, nay, shattered.

A 125 pound Nebraska woman, competitive eater Molly Schuyler, cut the previous record in HALF finishing the massive meal in under five minutes! UNDER FIVE MINUTES!! And, as if that wasn’t nauseating enough, she ordered a SECOND MEAL which she finished in under ten minutes. Oh… Em… Gee.

Let that sink in for just a minute. a 125 pound woman ate nine pounds of meat (and another few pounds of sides) in 15 minutes. Nine… Pounds…

As they say in my home town, “That thar’s gonna be a three flusher!”

(Read the full story.)

Crunch time is coming to an end at work… I hope. I really really hope. Cuz, my mind is getting frayed. So much so that this, one of the world’s worst puns, made me literally laugh out loud. Yep, even in my cubicle.

Today someone compared me to Hitler. I did Nazi that coming!

Still under a crunch at work. No time to chit chat. But the chain must not be broken! (Explained here.)

I was all warm and cozy in my cubicle paradise. Why must you ruin it?

I’m starting the second week of the grind at work. Sorry that I don’t have time to craft a beautiful exposition today. Only this little pearl of wisdom from the Nintendo NES (back in the day) that is so terribly relevant while I’m working long hours and pushing my work PC to the breaking point. (It did break once late last week, but thankfully… I saved.)

Everything not saved will be lost. – Nintendo

“Crunch Time” used to be a fairly regular occurrence at my day job. About every two years, some big project would come along and require long hours, late nights, massive eye strain, limited sleep, and almost no personal hygiene. If you’ve never smelled a programmer during crunch time, consider yourself blessed.

I’m very grateful that I’ve been able to keep regular hours for several years in a row. But…

This morning, during a quick, stand-up meeting, my shoulders felt that familiar weight. Ahh, hard dead lines. Tough requirements. Smells like… crunch time!

If you happen to see me stumbling into Waffle House at 3 AM, it’s best to just walk away, divert your nose, and pray that it’s over soon. As for me, I’ll be fine. I can’t really smell myself anyway.

Which brings us to this week’s white board quip.

It’s only embarrassing if you care what people think.

Hey, everybody! Long time no see! It’s work from home Friday! … Well, it was… Yesterday. In this, the 40th WFHF video, we look at some odd correlations between WFHF and my life.