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Are You Through Yet?

[WARNING: Grumpy Old Man post ahead!]

Happy Freaking New Year Happy New Year’s Eve, everybody! 2013 is done. 2014 is here. And I’m so excited, I could take a nap.

This year I turned 40 years old which makes it totally OK for me to act like an old fart. I’m utilizing this new freedom to its fullest. I’ve found it much easier to make public snide comments, complaints, and bodily noises without shame.

Seriously, though. I know none of that is good. I should not be proud of it (and I’m really trying not to be).

2013 was not a banner year in my life. There were more disappointments than successes. I remain very grateful for God’s intense blessings. But I find myself focusing more on the disappointments. And that’s wrong.

I’m intensely thankful that Tammy healed from her ATV accident. I’m disappointed that it happened (ending our Colorado vacation in a far-from-home hospital). I’m very disappointed in how our health insurance has handled it.

I’m intensely thankful for my job. I’m disappointed that the economic slump has limited the “perks” we used to enjoy. I’m very disappointed that my good friend and co-worker RandyPants is leaving for greener pastures (but I’m thankful for his new opportunity).

I’m intensely thankful for my home. I’m disappointed that I have not been able to do the long list of repairs and upgrades that I had planned. I’m very disappointed that my home is not in the Colorado Rockies (nor are there realistic, near-term chances that it will be).

I’m intensely thankful for my health. I’m disappointed that my lack of self-discipline has left me only a few pounds away from my all-time high weight. I’m very disappointed that I’ve squandered a fairly expensive gym membership.

I’m intensely thankful for Christmas and the fact that Tammy and I were able to buy each other gifts. I’m disappointed that I was sick all week. I’m very disappointed that my cold caused us to cancel several of our favorite activities (and now Tammy is suffering from my unintentional Christmas gift to her… my cold).

Every year, I get a new Dilbert desk calendar. And on the first office day of the year, I flip to December 31st and ask my future self some tough questions. On the page for December 31st, 2013, the first line reads, “Still going to the gym? Yeah. I didn’t think so.” Wow. Thanks, me-from-the-past, for that stirring vote of confidence. You were totally right, but still…

How was 2013?

I can’t continue to dwell on the negative. I just can’t. It’s not healthy. It makes it look like I’m not thankful for my innumerable blessings. It reflects poorly on my Faith. And it makes me sound like an old fart! I won’t have it! I’m not OK with this.

So what’s to be done? How do I remedy this old-farted-ness? I have some thoughts involving positive affirmation, goal setting and tracking, etc., but to be honest, I’m not sure if any of it will work.

Tomorrow is New Year’s Day. I know that it’s an arbitrary, subjective method for tracking our laps around the Sun, but it’s more than that. It’s a demarcation. It’s a line in the sand. It’s an excuse to say, “Today, I will change.” And as weak and arbitrary as I know it to be, I need it. I need to draw the line.

*sigh*

Or I could take a nap.

On that note, here’s the last White Board Quip for 2013.

Doing nothing is very hard to do, you never know when you’re finished. – Tracy Jordan

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