Do Days of Our Lives and Jerry Springer make you stupid? I always thought so.

Research conducted by Brooklyn College has found a direct correlation between intelligence and day-time TV.

A study of 289 older women without dementia found that those who rated talk shows and soaps as their favorite programs performed more poorly on tests of memory, attention and mental quickness than their peers who cited other types of shows.

The researchers warn that the cause and effect can’t be shown, but that some relationship is certain.

That doesn’t mean that daytime television is a brain drain, they say … it’s not possible to tell whether the programs somehow contribute to cognitive decline or whether women in the early stages of decline gravitate toward those shows

In “day time TV” terms, that means they don’t know if Oprah makes you stupid or if stupid people like Oprah. It’s a thin gray line if you ask me.

Full article.

As if to cleanse my pallet of the 2006 remake of the Pink Panther, I rented the 1976 film, The Pink Panther Strikes Again. As I said before, Tammy is not a big fan of slap-stick comedy. She surprised me (and maybe herself) by sitting through this whole show and actually laughing at most of it. I, on the other hand, howled. I love Peter Sellers as Jacques Clouseau.

It seems like each of these movies has a scene that has become a Pink Panther cliche. In “Strikes Again” we have the classic, “Zat iz not my dog,” scene between Clouseau and the old German inn keeper. Oh, it makes me chuckle just to think about it.

I’m not sure what all I can say about this film to praise it. If you’ve never scene the old Pink Panther series, you simply MUST. If you have, then you have already made up your mind and you either think Sellers was a genius or you think it was stupid. In that case, I can’t do much to change your mind.

I will caution that if you are looking for some good Clouseau, don’t go back to the first “Pink Panther”, released in 1963. That one was a weird mix of James Bond, cloak and dagger, with Sellers’ slap-stick thrown in for comic relief. Also avoid the Panthers made after Sellers died (in 1980).

I give this film four out of five grins. By my ranking system, that means that I’d be willing to buy this one. (Which is convenient since they now have a Pink Panther box set. Hint hint!)

I really enjoy the old Pink Panther movies. Peter Sellers was a comedic genius. Steve Martin, I feel, is also a comedic genius, but in a completely different realm.

As much as I love Steve’s work, I was very skeptical when I heard he was doing a Panther remake. I feel so strongly about Sellers’ Clouseau, I was certain that Martin’s Couseau would not live up. Tammy really wanted to see the film and I was curious how it would measure up. I went in with low expectations and they were met… barely.

50% of Peter Sellers’ humor (especially in the Pather series) came from his accents. Clouseau’s outlandish French lives in the pantheon of funny accents. The other characters had decent accents (French, German, Russian, etc.) unlike most American movies in which any foreign character has a British accent.

In this new incarnation, Martin does have a few lines which attempt to make fun of his (poorly done) French accent. But seriously, how does “dehbuugahh” sound like a French person saying “hamburger”? To make Martin’s French sound more French, the other characters were given (surprise surprise) British accents rather than French. Kevin Kline, who plays Chief Inspector Dreyfus, sounds about as French as Madonna and I know he can do a flawless French accent thanks to his brilliant performance in “French Kiss”.

You can’t do the Pink Panther without doing some physical humor. While I’ve always thought this was Steve Martin’s forte, he didn’t really deliver as Clouseau. The best pratfalls were in the trailer. (This is a HUGE pet peeve of mine.) The movie was much more predictable than it’s predecessors. I found I was laughing, but I wasn’t laughing at the jokes. I was laughing at how bad the jokes were.

Tammy isn’t a big fan of comedies in the slap-stick/silly variety, but she is a huge fan of Martin’s later work in “family comedies”. She summed it up best when the lights came up. “That was really really bad.”

Sorry, Steve, but I’m afraid you struck out on this one. I give it two out of five grins.

In another follow-up (I promise no more follow-ups this week!), I posted about NBC’s controversial “Book of Daniel”. NBC announced it’s flushing this floater. The American Family Association (one of many groups who vocally opposed the show) claims that over 670,000 people sent emails to NBC through the AFA web site asking that the show be dropped. A total of nine NBC affiliate stations refused to air the show. Even NBC execs admit they hard a hard time finding sponsorship for the show. To top it all off, the show absolutely bombed in the ratings.

The AFA posted a quote from the show’s creator and producer Jack Kenny (although, I could not find another source for this quote).

“The AFA and bullies like them are hard at work to try and prevent you from seeing these beautiful shows, and that is censorship-pure and simple. And that is both un-Christian and un-American.”

I always get a big belly laugh out of openly non-Christian (Christiophobic?) folks preaching about what is or isn’t Christian.

I was able to find Kenny’s earlier response to the attacks on the show. Before it was cancelled, Kenny posted this diatribe which was picked up by TV.com.

“For a while I thought I was the only one who was really angry about this. Angry that this Small Minority of Loud-Mouthed Bullies (SMLMB) had decided to take control over what you get to watch on your television … Soon they may have to step in and approve anything you might want to say out loud, in the privacy of your home. Or maybe what you might think in your mind. If it weren’t 2006, I’d think it was 1984!

…

“Maybe I was taking this too personally – y’know, my show, my idea, my baby. Maybe I needed to seek out other opinions. Objective opinions.”

He goes on to say that he found some blogs where people where defending the show against this “religious attack”. These were his “objective opinions”. I found a much better and truly objective opinion. The “Real Live Preacher” whose blog I frequent, did a short review of the show for Salon.com. It’s very telling.

“I wanted so badly to like ‘the Book of Daniel’ … I wanted to like it if only because some of the religious right are soundly condemning it. I usually can’t pass up an opportunity to distance myself from those guys. But I couldn’t like it. I just couldn’t. Not because it is sacrilegious, but because it is bad. It is very bad. This is a bad and boring show.”

Many of the counter attacks say that Christians didn’t even watch the show before condeming it. While I don’t have to take heroin to know it should be outlawed, I did find the show’s official web site, where you can see still photos of the show and read the plot lines of all five episodes. Now, I can say, in all honest, having read the show’s content, “Wow, that was not only offensive, it really sucked!”

I recommend reading all of Kenny’s whine-fest. Toward the end, he talks about growing up in Catholic school and sheds light on the root of his disgruntlement with religion. The last paragraph he talks about Jesus as a friend and confidant that helps you when you stumble. He’s so close, but he still doesn’t “get it.” It really is sad to see how the lost can get so close to the answer, but their anger and bitterness (usually caused by hypocritical church goers) prevents them for allowing Christ into their lives. It’s a stinging reminder to us on the “religious right”. The fact that Jack Kenny hates us doesn’t mean we can hate him. He’s a lost soul and God loves him.

The saga continues!

Check out Climbing the Walls (Volume II).

I’ve finally finished volume one of this very exciting (dare I say riveting) saga. Please enjoy…

Climbing the Walls (Volume I)

I’ve had this story sitting here for a while. Today there is fresh news on the topic.

NBC is rolling out a mid-season replacement show called “Book of Daniel”. The show centers around a “Liberal Episcopal” priest, hooked on pain killers who has face to face conversations with a “hip, modern Jesus.” Yyyyeah. I’m sure that won’t offend anybody.

It gets better. Ed Vitagliano, from the American Family Association, has viewed the premiere episode and tells us about the wholesome, every-day-Christian family and friends that Rev. Daniel hangs with. (Full review article)

“His wife struggles with an alcohol problem … while his 16-year-old daughter is arrested for selling drugs … his 16-year-old adopted son is having sex with the bishop’s daughter, and his brother-in-law has run off with his secretary – after stealing more than $3 million in diocese funds … Daniel’s oldest son is a proud homosexual, and in one scene the mother is shown encouraging the 23-year-old that soon he will find the right guy and settle down. Daniel’s secretary, according to press reports, is a lesbian who begins an affair with his sister-in-law in a later episode.”

I wonder if the person who came up with this show has some kind of vendetta against the church or maybe even has no idea what Christianity is all about? Hmmm. Well, it just so happens that “the series is written by Jack Kenny, a practicing homosexual who describes himself as being ‘in Catholic recovery,’ … and isn’t sure exactly how he defines God and/or Jesus. ‘I don’t necessarily know that all the myth surrounding him (Jesus) is true,’ he said.” (from another AFA article)

I found an “inside-Hollywood” blog that described the show thus:

“It actually looks a lot like Desperate Housewives – lots of houses shown, with various people having sex and/or hiding secrets.”

Yyyeah. That’s just what TV needs. *Sigh*

Already the uproar is having some effect. Two NBC affiliates, one in Indiana and one in Arkansas have announced that they will not broadcast Book of Daniel. I hope that more local stations will do what Hollywood never will: recognize a crappy, inflammatory, anti-God show for what it is and refuse to air it.

Well, I’m going to have to call up our local NBC affiliate and let them know that if they air this show, I’m going to have to watch Monk instead. (Oh, wait. I would be watching Monk anyway. Nevermind then.)

Monk-ish – adv. 1. Has obsessive-compulsive thoughts, tendencies or behaviors. 2. Of, or relating to, or characteristic of Adrian Monk.

Monk is my second favorite show on TV (right behind Mythbusters). Tony Shalhoub brilliantly portrays Adrian Monk, a former police detective who lost his job due to his debilitating obsessive-compulsive disorder but who still consults with the police to solve murders.

What I love so much about Monk is that I get to laugh at some of the traits I have. Actually, my co-worker, Dave, and I both have some pretty serious Monk-ish qualities. The invention of alcohol hand sanitizer (such as Purell) has made my personal distaste for germiness even worse. (*snap snap* Wipe! I need a wipe!) It has become a running joke at home and at work. Much like “geek”, “monk” has gone from an insult to an accepted (even enjoyed) label.

Naturally, anything that I really enjoy eventually becomes an internet quiz. Check out “Are you Monk-ish?”

I’m more than most.

God has graced us with yet another reason to pray for the San Andres fault to open up and swallow Hollywood.

This weekend two movies opened in box offices across the country. One was an age old story of childhood adventure from the pages of the greatest Christian allegory ever written. The other film has been so hyped by Hollywood elitists that they’ve already had the Oscars and Golden Globes engraved. It is the heart worming (sic) tale of lust between two queer cowboys. *sigh*

“The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe” is a beautifully rendered epic of nearly the same quality as the Lord of the Rings series. Tammy and I saw “Narnia” and my review is forthcoming. While there is no direct reference to Christianity in the movie, any Christian (or any non-Christian who knows anything about the Bible) should be able to easily see through the allegorical veil of this C.S. Lewis’ classic. It is because of this Biblical foundation (and the fact that LOTR has raised the bar so high for fantasy films) that film industry elitists have written off Narnia. No one in Hollywood expected it do much more than cover costs.

On the other hand, Hollywood was rolling out the red carpet for “Brokeback Mountain” before the ink was dry on the script. Entertainment rags, such as Varity, have been hyping the snot out of this film as the first “mainstream” success of a gay script. The tag line for the movie is “Love is a force of nature”. Yeah, well, so is explosive diarrhea, but that doesn’t make it something I want to see, much less embrace. Among others, USA Today ran a shameless plug article for Brokeback saying, “The film might find its place in history as a cultural landmark.” *hurk* Sorry, just typing that caused a little vomit to come up on me.

Now comes the refreshing part. Narnia just finished its second weekend of release and has grossed over $112 million. It released at number one and this week is number two behind the much anticipated Peter Jackson flick, King Kong.

The other film is in its second weekend of release (the first weekend was a limited release in only three theaters in liberal save havens of NY, LA, and SF). The gay cowboy show has now pocketed a whopping $3 million. That’s less than 3% of the box office Narnia is enjoying. Let’s hope the trend continues.

Now, I have no false hope for Hollywood. There is no question that the award shows will shower Brokeback with praise and adoration regardless of its financial (non)showing. But we can still hope that the movie execs that are the driving force behind what Hollywood makes will do as they are want to do and follow the almighty dollar. As much as the coastal media liberals want it to be mainstream and accepted, homosexuality remains a sin in the eyes of America and Americans will put their money where their mouth is.

Amen.

I have seen so many movies in the last few months! Keep in mind that in the previous two years I had seen exactly five movies in theaters, all of which were part of trilogies. But in the last three months, I’ve seen “Batman Begins”, “March of the Penguins”, “Corpse Bride”, and “Wallace & Gromit” all in the theater. On top of that, we just rented “Herbie: Fully Loaded”, “Robots”, and “Shaun of the Dead” on DVD.

The problem is that I’ve seen so many movies in relatively rapid succession that I can’t remember enough about each movie to do a quality review. I do remember enough to rate them though, so here is my “lite” review of these shows.

I am a huge Batman fan, but I’m a pretty harsh critic when it comes to my favorites. This movie surpassed my expectations. Great show! Batman Begins earns five out of five grins.

Tim Burton is a freakish human being, but one of my favorite film makers. (I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Burton directed the first couple of Batman movies that made me fall in love with the character.) The Nightmare Before Christmas is one of my all time favorites and Corpse Bride had the exact same style. The plot line is not as strong as it could have been, but the art makes up for it. I give it four out of five grins.

I have a soft heart for English humor, from Monty Python to Mr. Bean. Wallace fits nicely in between. If you liked Chicken Run, you’ll love Wallace & Gromit. I give it four grins.

March of the Penguins, in all honesty, is not much more than a National Geographic special with a better script. But between the stunning visuals and beautiful musical score, it’s worth seeing. The narration is brilliant and makes even the steamy sex scene (honest!) kid safe. I was most grateful that the film makers managed to leave Darwin out of the script. I’d say three grins is more than respectable for a documentary.

I remember watching the old Herbie movies at my cousins’ house. They had a satellite dish (the old eight foot SETI style) and could pick up the Disney channel when my house only got four stations. (No, not Fox. PBS!) This new incarnation does fair justice to the 70’s movies. Herbie: Fully Loaded is good, clean fun, garnering three grins.

I’m a sucker for computer animation. As far as the art, Robots is top notch. However, I got the impression that the art was the impetus and the storyline was an after thought. (Watching the DVD extras confirmed it.) Still, it’s a fun show with a good moral. Robots gets three grins.

Even if you’re not big on English humor, Shaun of the Dead is flat out funny. I laughed out loud many times (much to the chagrin of my wife who was trying to sleep in the next room.) Still, this is one of those movies that put me in a hard spot. Much like Office Space, no matter how funny I found it, I have a hard time recommending it to my friends because the language is really bad. Not quite Tarantino bad, but almost. There are more F-bombs in Shaun than in Office Space, but if you can turn on your mental filters for the night, this one is a must see. Oh, and don’t feel bad if you don’t understand every line of dialog. There’s enough UK slang that this movie could well be considered a foreign language film. I would give it four grins, but it gets a one grin penalty for language.