Hey, everybody! Long time no see! It’s work from home Friday! … Well, it was… Yesterday. In this, the 40th WFHF video, we look at some odd correlations between WFHF and my life.

It was 2006. The internet was like a proverbial teenager, starting to realize its universe had no edge. Connections speeds were just fast and affordable enough to watch tiny, 400 pixel wide videos. Just enough pixels for an odd, neurotic fellow with unsynced pupils to enthrall a generation. Before YouTube, before the Vlog Brothers and Wheezy Waiter, there was Ze Frank.

But… who cares, really.

Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be. – Ze Frank

Although… Ze did eventually set up a YouTube channel with selected episodes and there is a KickStarter that may bring Ze’s show back. Or it may just tease us, like Firefly April Fool’s jokes that no one laughs at.

Wow! I can’t believe it’s been over three years since my last movie review! I used to do these all the time! And I can’t even count how many movies I’ve seen in that time span.

So, why now? Why this one? I guess it’s because I get so irritated when Hollywood hypes up a movie, piles it with awards, and then it turns out to be so underwhelming. I felt the same way about Avatar (a.k.a. Dances with Smurfs).

Now, on to the review.

Forget everything you’ve heard. Gravity is a disaster movie. And as disaster movies go, Gravity is pretty good. Just be sure to turn your “suspension of disbelief” up to 11 and your “I took two years a physic in college” down to zero. (As you should with any movie in this genre.)

There is one glaring problem though. Most disaster movies start out with an ensemble cast of five or more big names so there are enough to kill off and still keep the suspense going. Gravity has a total cast of two. After these two survive the first big event, there’s not much left for the “will they make it” suspense.

It is a thrill ride, to be sure. The action keeps on coming. But if you’re looking for anything Oscar worthy, don’t bother. The visual effects were really well executed, but in this CGI drenched world, that’s not enough to make a movie great.

Now, disaster movies never rely on a good script, so it should be no surprise that this one was likely no more than three pages long. Several of the major plot points go beyond “contrived” and end up at “kinda dumb.” The character development is thinner than the atmosphere outside their space suits. And that’s kind of surprising given the cast. Bullock and Clooney have the chops to handle more complex roles. Here they are reduced to her hyperventilating and him … well … smiling. What a waste.

Ultimately, this is a solid 3 grin, popcorn flick. If you’ve got a really good media room, like I do, turn off the lights, crank up the base and enjoy the ride. If not, you will probably be disappointed.

It’s that time again! Well, I suppose it’s actually past that time… oh dear.

Pleated-Jeans.com is one of those websites that’s like crack cocaine to my procrastination. You really really really should not click that link if you expect to get anything done today.

Speaking of which, it’s Monday and so it’s time for a fresh new White Board Quip of the Week. Normally, I pull a random quip from a database (yes, really) of quips that I have collected over time. But today’s quip jumped straight to the head of the queue. It’s from P-J’s post, “18 Facebook Statuses That Are Actually Worth Reading,” and it made me cubicle-snort (see explanation below).

I thought I was at a Nicki Minaj concert for 20 minutes before I realized I was just watching a homeless man yell at a pigeon.

*snork* … *wheeez* … Must… not… disturb… cubicle farm… with… laughter!!

Time to plug in your sub-woofer, grab your lightsaber and turn them both up to 11! Seriously!!

It was sure close, but by my clock, it’s still February. So, with this WFHF video, I have kept my goal of at least one video a month for 2014. Whew! Too close!

Tammy insisted that I couldn’t do any other videos until I finished the sequel to 2013 Colorado Vacation (Part 1). So here it is! (And is really long. And it really is Tammy’s fault. You’ll see.)

In the Universe’s relentless effort to make me feel old, few things are as effective as putting anniversary dates on things I enjoyed in my youth.

“Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure” came out 25 years ago.

*sigh* Bogus.

Mental Floss has some fun facts about the old Wild Stallions:

15 Things You Might Not Know About Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure

I’ve seen this one making the rounds of the internet. It made me “cubicle laugh” several times. (You know, “cubicle laugh.” When, in any other circumstance you would laugh really loud, but your at work, so you have to stifle it and nearly have a brain hemorrhage.)

I thought I would try to find and credit the original source. My search lead me through some dark alleys of the internet. It scares me to think what was behind some of those banner ads. *shudder*

The best I could come up with was a link to Ruminations.com, a blog that no longer exists, written by comedian Aaron Karo. There’s no evidence of this list on his existing site, but the “voice” does match his current work.

Anyway… to the funny! [With my comments added in brackets.]

1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
[This never happens to me. DO YOU HEAR ME??!! NEVAAARRRR!!]

3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
[Preach, brother.]

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
[Ya think?! … See?]

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
[This one I can help with. Find the corner seams and fold them. Ignore the rest.]

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
[Only so I can read birthday cards from my grandma.]

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
[Clearly this list is very old. You see, children, when dinosaurs roamed the earth, before Google Maps…]

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
[I always felt like they were missing something.]

9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.
[See also: #3]

10. Bad decisions make good stories.
[And expensive medical and/or legal bills.]

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
[3:30 pm. If it comes earlier, I’m in real trouble.]

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection … again.

13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
[This is scarier than ever “horror” movie made in the last 10 years … combined.]

14. “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this … ever.

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (“Hello? Hello? [Nuts]!”), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
[For me, it’s when I wear a new and highly hilarious t-shirt.]

17. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
[Guilty.]

18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
[I always did not like* those commercials. It’s basically promoting prostitution.]

20. I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.
[Though, to be fair, this option might make several U.S. cities totally inaccessible.]

21. Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.

22. I would rather try to carry 10 over-loaded plastic bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
[And when I’m done, I feel justified in not going to the gym that week.]

23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.
[Because, children, we NEVAAARR look at our phones while driving. RIGHT??!!]

24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
[Is this list getting too long, because I’m craving potato chips.]

25. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?
[Once. Twice if it’s my boss.]

26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
[YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!]

27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

28. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?
[Oh, children. I weep for the future.]

29. There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
[Cue brain hemorrhaging cubicle laugh.]

30. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate bicyclists.
[Nope. Share the road.]

31. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
[Watch? What’s a watch?]

32. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet my [granny’s teeth] everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

Perhaps if Nicola Tesla had had the chance to become a composer, the world would be this awesome. But alas…