Q: What do you get when you throw a hand grenade into a French bathroom?

A: Linoleum Blown-apart.

Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Let’s go ride bikes!!

Q: What is the difference between a coyote and a flea?

A: One howls on the prairie. The other prowls on the hair.

Q: Why do cows wear bells?

A: Because their horns don’t work.

Q: Why did Mary Poppins have to buy her tissues in bulk?

A: Because of the Super-new-infectous-strain-of-chronic-runny-noses.

…

Sing it!

Q1:What do you call an elephant with no eyes?

A1: Why bother. No matter how much you call it, it won’t be able to find you.

Q2: What do you call a deer with no eyes?

A2: No eye deer.

Q3: What do you call a fish with no eyes?

A3: Fsh.

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Ether.

Ether who?

Ether bunny! Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Nuther.

Nuther who?

Nuther ether bunny. Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Stella.

Stella who?

Stella nuther ether bunny. Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Cargo.

Cargo who?

Cargo “beep beep” and then squish all those ether bunnies!

Q: Why are elephants big, gray, and wrinkly?

A: Because if they were small, white, and hard, they’d be aspirin.

Q1: How can you tell if there’s an elephant in your refrigerator?

A1: Elephant footprints in the butter.

Q2: How can you tell if there are two elephants in your refrigerator?

A2: You can hear them giggling when the light goes out.

Q3: How can you tell if there are three elephants in your refrigerator?

A3: It’s really hard to close the door.

Q4: How can you tell if there are four elephants in your refrigerator?

A4: There will be a Mini Cooper parked next to it.

Q1: How many elephants can you fit in a Mini Cooper?

A1: Four. Two in the front and two in the back.

Q2: How many giraffes can you fit in a Mini Cooper?

A2: None! It’s already full of elephants!