It seems that every human has a miraculous, powerful, innate ability to justify the dumb things they do. (Hey, that would make a pretty good white board quip itself.)

I believe in karma. That means I can do bad things to people all day long and I assume they deserve it.
-Dogbert

After seeing (and being pretty well disappointed by) Crystal Skull, I needed a fix to repair my respect of Harrison Ford. So, I watched Blade Runner on NetFlix. Ahh. Much better. (Review forthcoming.)

Laugh it up, fuzzball!
– Han Solo

You may have noticed my dad has become one of my most common commenters. One of his mantras has always been, “Think!” It sounds so simple, but it is really rare. So many people just don’t take the time to think things through and end up making poor decisions.

In the current political climate this is especially true. Be it McCain’s “reaching across the aisle”, Obama’s “change and hope”, or Clinton’s… well, just about anything Clinton says; all these things sound great on the surface, but if you scratch just a little deeper you’ll find huge, gaping holes in their “plans”.

Which brings us to this week’s white board quip from that venerable skeptic Scott Adams (creator of Dilbert).

That sounds entirely reasonable, at least until you think about it.
– Scott Adams

I’m cramming to get a project finished before several other projects start whining for attention. That means I’m writing code faster than I should and making some pretty stupid mistakes. Which leads to comments like todays white board quip.

Your code no longer doesn’t not fail.

Now that I’m all excited about my new camera, I’ve started thinking seriously about doing some cool portraiture. When we’re at the mall, I end up staring at the big model pictures hanging in stores and windows, not oggling the models, but studying the lighting and back grounds. At our company picnic last weekend, I took too many pictures of other peoples’ kids just to try and beef up my Flickr portfolio. So, yeah, I’m the creepy old guy with the camera now. Yikes.

So for this week’s white board quip…

Note to self: Stop being creepy.

In doing some reading about smoking bans, trying to find some answers to my question about where to draw the line between government and freedom I found this week’s white board quip.

Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a swimming pool.

For the “blondes” in audience (or a particular red-head), let this one sink in for a minute or two.

Always go to other people’s funerals, or else they won’t come to yours.

Wait for it… Wait for it… (Two minutes later, she suddenly laughs.)

It came to my attention when I was doing some maintenance on my blog that there as been a serious breech of protocol. It turns out that I have, in fact, published 132 white board quips, NOT 129. Somehow I managed to not count three quips.

So, I must take drastic action and pronounce this week’s quip #133. Rather than going back and editing fifty or sixty old posts to get them up to the correct counts, we’ll just say that quips 130, 131, and 132 were victims of poor accounting and lost to the ether.

I always win. Except when I lose, but then I just don’t count it.

[Ed. Oh, who am I kidding. I can’t stand to leave this alone. I’m going to go back and fix the old ones!! OCD wins again.]

Ever wonder about all those medical studies?

It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.

Yeah, that’s what I figured.

While I’m no longer paying for WeightWatchers, I’m still employing what I learned. I’m not “on a diet” but rather I have “changed my diet.” Last week I broke the 230 (227.8) mark for the first time in seven years. Then I got cocky and this week I’m back on the wrong side of that mark by a quarter pound.

This weekend the weather in DFW was gorgeous and Tammy and I busted out the bicycles. We stuck to pavement, but still got a great “break-in” workout of 15 miles (followed by some sadistic weight lifting).

This leads me to this week’s white board quip on dieting.

I have a great diet. You’re allowed to eat anything you want, but you must eat it with naked fat people.
– Steven Wright