Ponderous.

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn’t he just buy dinner?

WBQotW #239 is an actual quote from an actual 7-year-old girl. And on this rare occasion, I must agree with the kid.

I want milk, the locust-free kind.
– 7-Year-Old

From the mouths of babes… Am I right?!

On a side note, I just created a handy short-link for the WBQotW list! Now you can easily remember how to get your latest white board quip fix, or shoe-polish it on your car, or tattoo it on your forehead, or have it engraved on your tombstone! YOU’RE WELCOME!!

http://bit.ly/WhiteBoardQuip

And don’t forget the short-link for the blog: http://bit.ly/SYNSblog

We all know “that guy.” Usually, he’s a blood relative.

So what website do I go to to google something?

It’s Monday. And there’s a new post on my blog. That can only mean one thing: Time for a new white board quip!

I hate being bi-polar. It’s awesome!

But where did this all start? Well, you could click “More” under the WBQotW in the side bar, scroll to the bottom of the page, and then click “Older Posts” about fifty times (yes, really) and read my explanation on WBQotW #1. (Or I could just give you the link.) But that doesn’t really tell the whole story.

Yes the actual WBQotW (in its weekly format) started in a lowly intern’s cubicle at Hewlett Packard in 1998. But the practice of writing off-beat, puzzling, and sometimes funny quotes on a white board actually took root a bit earlier.

In the spring of 1993 (Holy Alzheimer’s, Batman! That was exactly 20 years ago!), I was attending Amarillo College and shared several classes with my childhood friend, Galyn Black. We took Calculus II in a newer class room, the first I’d ever seen with a white board. (As opposed to a chalk board. Yes, I am a dinosaur. You children can find out about chalk boards on Wikipedia along side cassette tapes, Milli Vanilli, and other aspects of the late Cretaceous period.)

At this same time, Galyn and I had become fans of the original Ren & Stimpy show on Nickelodeon. If you’ve seen any of this relic of the early 90’s, you’ll know it’s little more than a 20 minute string of nonsensical quips strung together with improbable plots and offensive characters. So, of course, I loved it.

For some reason, Galyn and I were always the first two to arrive to the class room. My compulsion to spoil empty white spaces and my fascination with the dry erase miracle (both of which are still important parts of my personality) left me powerless. I HAD to write on the board. I think it was probably Galyn’s idea to use Ren & Stimpy quotes. We would pick the most odd-ball, confoundingly out-of-context quote we could think of from a recent show and leave it on the board. Then, when the rest of the class would arrive, we would swear it was already on the board when we walked in. We were never caught.

Glorious.

When life gets crazy, I know it’s time to get out my old Calvin and Hobbes books.

Nobody ever pays me a penny for my thoughts.
– Calvin

Man it has been nutty around here lately. And there seems to be little sign of a slow down. Well… unless you count my upcoming vacation. *smile*

Memorial Day weekend, we hosted Tammy’s parents. It was great and we did a lot of touristy things that were on my “some day” list, including the G.W. Bush Library, the 6th Floor Museum, and a tour of Jerry World (a.k.a. Cowboys Stadium).

Tammy and I are heading to Colorado next week, but as seems to be the norm for me, my vacation is almost as stressful as real life. It’s going to be awesome, don’t get me wrong, but I’ve got reservations to make, trail rides to plan, off road permit stickers to buy, and work to do to get the bikes ready for 11,000 feet.

My pseudo-manic life spawned this week’s white board quip selection. It’s from a blog post by a guy from my church cataloging the bizarre and hilarious things his daughter says.

I can’t keep living like this for long. I’m going to have to go to Six Flags at some point.
– 10-year-old

The blog has been way too serious lately. It’s important for your perspective to know about the bad stuff. Yes, the world sucks. Life sucks. But it’s equally important to enjoy life! Don’t take it too seriously. No one makes it out alive.

So let’s try to have some fun while we still can. I’ve been poking around in my brain for some pointless frivolity to share with you. I’m going to start with this week’s white board quip.

Thinking outside the box today. There’s WAY more room out here.
– Tracy Jordan (30 Rock)

Yes. Let’s do that. Get outside the box and stretch.

Sometimes I lose myself. But it’s ok. I usually know my way back to me.

I’ve gone to find myself, so if I get back before I return, please ask me to wait.

I have several white board quips in the queue that are silly or odd questions, sort of a mockery of the “get to know you” questions you hear at parties or job interviews. When CGPGrey offered to answer questions from his viewers, I posted several of these off-the-wall queries. This one actually got picked for the video! So obviously, it gets bumped to the front of the queue.

What is your favorite internal organ?

[I apologize in advance if you are forced to watch Liz’s amorous, plush, heart puppet in that insufferable YouTube ad. I can not tell you how much I would like to kill it with fire.]

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