April 22, 2009 - 9:39 am
Yes, it’s Earth Day! To help you celebrate this important holiday, I’ve put together a to-do list for my eco-conscious readers.
- Use twice as much toilet paper as usual.
- Flush three time (twice for the extra paper, and once to salute the Earth).
- Don’t bother with that silly hair gel. Just use aerosol hair spray.
- Leave the fan running in the bathroom all day. Got to clear out those fumes.
- Crank up the AC. It’s gonna be a hot one today!
- Whoops! Now it’s too cold in here. Better kick on that space heater.
- Turn on all the lights. Let’s make this Earth Day the brightest ever!
- Mailing something today? Be sure to ask for over-night air-mail! Keep those jets flying!
- Drive to work. Drive to lunch. Drive home. Drive to dinner. Drive to church. Drive no where in particular.
- Oh, and since “Fatties Cause Global Warming”, be sure to super-size it! Do you want fries with that? You bet! It’s Earth Day!!