Some of my liberal friends plead with me to stop watching Fox News and listening to Rush. They’re going to have to expand their list to include the Vancouver Sun which reported today that Canada’s socialized health care system is likely to cut thousands of surgeries due to budget shortfalls.

“Vancouver patients needing neurosurgery, treatment for vascular diseases and other medically necessary procedures can expect to wait longer for care … [The health authority] is considering chopping more than 6,000 surgeries in an effort to make up for a dramatic budgetary shortfall…”

Yeah, you’re right, though. I’m sure ObamaCare will be nothing like that. Cuz’, ya know, our government is much better at running business.

She finally got it.

Tammy promised me years ago that when we bought a house, she’d learn to cook. (Not that she can’t cook now, it’s just… well… not worth explaining really.)

When we started serious house shopping about six months ago, she got all bedazzled by the latest kitchen envy item, a Kitchen Aid mixer. They’re everywhere! Walmart, Lowes, Kohls, everywhere! And everywhere we went, she would ooh and ahh and tell me that if she only had one of those, she could cook all kinds of great stuff in our new kitchen. When I asked for something more specific than “stuff”, I seldom got a satisfactory answer, but who needs specifics?

Two weeks ago, we finally got our new kitchen. So far, I’ve used the microwave once, and the stove and oven have yet to be turned on. This is nothing against Tammy, though. We are just honestly way too busy. We finally hit the grocery story yesterday (after nearly a month) just to buy the essentials.

This weekend, I gave Tammy her heart’s desire. We brought home a mixer. It’s black, to match our shiny new frig. (I refuse to spell it “fridge” because it’s not a “refridgerator” it’s a refrigerator!) I’ll try to remember to report back to you how this culinary magic machine effects our dining choices.

This brings us to this week’s white board quip, which concerns cake (something the mixer could actually help):

You can’t have cake for breakfast… unless it’s a pancake.
– Jim Gaffigan

What an amazing week! Last Monday we closed on our first house. (Thank you, taxpayers, for your $8000 donation to our savings account.) While the house is beautiful and in relatively good shape, it was not “move in ready.” Monday through Friday nights I was there until midnight or later cleaning and doing minor repairs. I went to Lowes at least once a day.

Friday was the big day for me. Work From Home Friday was spent at the house. Internet set up and cable installed (with all new cat-5 wiring) courtesy of AT&T U-Verse. I was able to check work email by lunch time. Blackmon Mooring was on hand to clean the air ducts and carpets. (The previous owners were clean people, but their black lab left persistent black hairs everywhere.) And Lowes delivered our new, french-door, black refrigerator.

Saturday was the big move. With great help from good friends, we got everything out of the apartment by about 4PM. Then Tammy and I spent the evening unpacking. We got the master bedroom, master bath, and kitchen operational before we crashed into bed. It was our first night in the new place, which is always awkward, but we were so tired, we slept through all the new noises.

Sunday, after church, we did a marathon session in the apartment, cleaning every nook and cranny, then touching up the paint. By 9PM Sunday night, we were ready to never see that apartment again.

There’s still so much to do, but at least we are living in our new home!!

I have to give “props” to all the friends who pitched in. Without you guys, we could not have done this. Brenda and Brittany Olson and Kiersten Harkins helped us clean the new house. Vaughn Hardman mowed our yard. Caleb Barlow, Russ and Carole Peddy, and their boys Jordan and Aaron helped us move.

P.S. The garage is still a mess. Last night, while trying to organize it, I pulled a muscle in my lower back. I’m still trying to figure out how to stretch it and what sitting position hurts the least. If you see me walking funny or grimacing for no aparent reason, you’ll know why.

I think, deep down, I posted this just to get “It’s A Small World” stuck in somebody’s head. Please comment if I succeeded.

It’s a small world, but I wouldn’t want to have to paint it.
– Steven Wright

New York anniversary trip pictures uploaded to Flickr, not all tagged and described yet.

Youth “80’s Tacky Prom” pictures uploaded to Flickr.

Middle school mission trip pictures off loaded from camera. Video not so much.

Last rent paid on apartment. Carpet cleaner and move-out inspection scheduled for next week.

House closed! (w00t!) Less than half cleaned. Lot’s of little repair jobs to do yet. Half of boxes moved. Carpet cleaner, air duct cleaner, cable/internet guy, and refrigerator delivery all scheduled for Friday morning. (Ack!)

Major project at work at least two weeks behind with delivery date in less than a month. (Double ack!)

Surfing, blogging, TV, sleeping, and weight watchers all significantly curtailed or cancelled completely.

Folllow Twitter to keep up with this crazy life.

Now, what the heck am I going to have for breakfast with an empty cupboard? (Feeling a bit like Old Mother Hubbard.)

Cats are fascinating creatures. They retain so much of their wild hunting abilities and instincts while being fully domesticated. They are incredible athletes and remarkable gymnasts. I admire them as creations of God. BUT, they do make your house smell awful. The do make my wife, dad, and many others unable to breath in a matter of minutes. And they have that nasty habit of treating their owners like pets instead of the other way around. I would NEVER willingly own a cat.

All that said, they still entertain me.

If you haven’t heard of LOLCATZ (For the clueless, that’s pronounced “lole-cats.”), what rock have you been living under?

I love the lolcat site I CAN HAZ CHEEZBURGER. Not every post makes me laugh, but many do. They are purrrfect (aha…) bite-sized humor kibbles for when I’m working hard, but have to wait a couple of minutes for a build or a script to finish (like right now, for instance).

With my proclivity for naps, this one really got me giggling.

Join me today in raising a 7-layer burrito in memory of Gidget, the Taco Bell Chihuahua. Gidget died yesterday at the age of 105 (in dog years). I know there’s some controversy over the discovery that Gidget was a female. But I’m willing to look beyond the tabloid sex scandals and just remember the good times.

My favorite was the Godzilla movie cross-promo where Gidget sat next to a box trap baited with tacos. “Heeeere leezard leezard leezard!” What’s yours?

I really like David Crowder Band. I really like internet memes. I really like Twitter (but I’m not addicted). I really really LOVE this video!! (And yes, I’m going to tweet it too.)

Considering that today is Embrace Your Geekness Day, what better time could there be for me to share my personal treatise on three oft confused terms.

Many people use these three terms interchangeably and, as someone who considers himself a geek, but not a nerd or dork, this is highly offensive. Allow me to expound.

Geek, nerd, and dork are titles that, while related, refer to different ends of a large spectrum. Yes, a spectrum! Like a rainbow of social ineptitude.

At the low end, you have the ineffectual dork. The dork has little or no social grace, making them uncomfortable company for even the shortest period of time. They have no concept of what normal people think is funny or even interesting. They tend to be loud and sometimes even rude. Many of them fail grasp basic grooming. (Your greasy mullet and mutton chops do not make you look like Wolverine. They make you look homeless.)

Dorks also have no marketable skills, making them useless to society. Notice I used “marketable.” Neither speaking fluent Klingon nor “pwning noobs” in Halo are “marketable.” (No one is going to call you up offering to pay you to pwn their noobs for them.)

If you move up the scale on the skills side, you will find the humble nerd. These poor souls toil in the background of our society, inventing and inovating, making our lives better, but never reaping the benefits. Even if the make a billion dollars, no one wants to come to their parties and hang out. (Reference Bill Gates!) These are the guys that multiple PhDs and are still taking night classes, not because they need to, but because they would rather spend Friday night doing homework that face the cruel social gauntlet of real life.

At the top of the spectrum you have the mighty geek. Thanks to the nerds of the past, on who’s shoulders we stand, geeks are able to master marketable skills and still have time to make friends, date and marry attractive women, and carry on successful lives away from the keyboard.

You’ll notice a conspicuous missing label from my graph. It is reserved for those of whom we geeks prefer not to speak. Those with no skills, but lots of schmooze. Out from this black hole of humanity crawl middle managers, politicians, sales and marketing. Necessary? Perhaps. Desirable? May it never be so.

In honor of  Embrace Your Geekness Day, this week’s quip is surfeit with geekitude.

There are 10 kinds of people in the world: Those who understand binary and those who don’t.