Richard Hatch, the openly homosexual winner of Survivor’s $1 million prize, has learned that, even if you survive Survivor, you can’t survive the IRS.

Hatch got slammed with a 10-count federal indictment for tax evasion and mail, wire, and bank fraud. The fed offered him a plea deal back in January for lesser charges, but he reneged on that deal. Free advice of the day: When the fed offers you a plea deal, take it!

You can read the full indictment over at The Smoking Gun.

Turns out the harmless gay millionaire hired an accounting firm to do his 2000 taxes in 2002 (just a wee bit late). The firm gave Hatch the return form which said he owed Uncle Sam over $400,000 in taxes and fees. Naturally, he wanted a second opinion, so he hired an independent accountant to crunch the numbers. Only problem is, he forgot to mention to this accountant several sources of income. This accountant figured that Hatch owed over $200,000. Better, but not good enough for Hatch.

He asked the accountant to draw up a return not including the $1 mil from Survivor. The accountant did this only after Hatch signed an agreement that the return form was for informational purposes only. This last return was more what Hatch was looking for: a tax return of $4400. Much better. Hatch signed the fraudulent return form and mailed it in.

Now, ripping off Uncle Sam is one thing, but American’s most famous “snake” didn’t stop there. Ripping off charitable donations is so much more fun!!

He was invited to be on a pilot episode of a reality show about giving money to charities. Naturally, a show about giving to charity doesn’t want to pay a millionaire to be on the show. Instead, they agreed to pay Hatch’s share to a charity of his choice. Hatch gave them the name of his favorite charity, Horizon Bound, which at that point did not exist. Hatch then ran down to the town hall and shuffled the paperwork to create his very own non-profit organization named… you guessed it… Horizon Bound. The $25,000 check to Horizon Bound landed in Hatch’s mail box. Not satisfied with mail fraud, Hatch decided to add bank fraud to the list when he altered the check to include his own name. Then he deposited the check in his personal account and, naturally, failed to declare any of this on his taxes.

All of this was in 2000, after Hatch’s Survivor claim to fame. I won’t even go into his 2001 tax evasion (where he failed to claim over $360,000 in income and several thousand dollars of “contributions” to Hatch’s favorite charity… himself).

When all is said and done, Hatch could face several years in prison and oodles of fines after which he’ll be lucky if he if he can call himself a thousand-aire. On the up-side, being a homosexual in prison is like being a fat guy at an all-you-can-eat buffet. Bon appetit, Mr. Hatch.