You may have noticed that Part I and Part II of this series are contradictory. That’s the genius of my master plan, see? I want to encourage both sides of this standoff to hold out as long as possible. If it goes on long enough, maybe, just maybe, Hollywood will collapse. The over-paid, egotistical freak show that has brought us years of pathetic movies (for a retarded $8-12 a ticket) will be brought to it’s knees and we can all go back to the days when movies were entertaining enough to be worth the ticket (the $5 ticket).

The way I see it, Hollywood has outlived is usefulness anyway. This is the 21st century for Pete’s sake! Are we still relying on 10 square miles of Liberal backwash for our entertainment? Let’s move on people!

After the great crash of 2008, Hollywood will be back, they’ll recover. But they won’t have the money or the hubris to spend millions of dollars on craptacular shows like “I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry” or Liberal bilge like “Lions for Lambs”.

Let’s face it. Hollywood is out of ideas! Don’t believe me? Here’s a taste of 2007’s unoriginal crop:

• 300 (Based on a comic book.)
• F4 – Silver Surfer (A sequel based on a comic book.)
• Ghost Rider (Based on a comic book.)
• Underdog (Based on a TV cartoon.)
• Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (A remake based on a TV cartoon.)
• The Simpson’s Movie (Based on a TV cartoon.)
• Transformers (Based on a TV cartoon.)
• 28 Weeks Later (A sequel.)
• The Invasion (A slasher remake.)
• Hostel II (A slasher sequel.)
• The Hills Have Eyes II (A slasher sequel.)
• Saw IV (A slasher sequel.)
• Resident Evil: Extinction (A slasher sequel based on a video game.)
• Halloween (A sequel to a now 30-year-old slasher series. Seriously?)
• Hannibal Rising (A prequel to the prequel to the sequel to… Oh I give up.)
• Ocean’s Thirteen (The second sequel of a remake. How sad is that?)
• Pirates: At World’s End (A sequel.)
• Spiderman 3 (A sequel based on a comic book.)
• Harry Potter: Order of the Phoenix (Pretty good, but still a sequel based on a book.)
• Bourne Ultimatum (I’ve heard it’s awesome, but still a sequel.)
• Shrek the Third (A completely unnecessary sequel.)
• Evan Almighty (A sequel, and, from what I’ve heard, a suckfest.)
• Rush Hour 3 (A sequel. C’mon Jackie. You’re better than this.)
• Live Free or Die Hard (A very late and pathetic sequel. Go back to bed, Bruce.)
• Hairspray (A remake with John Travolta in drag. I’d rather lick a hobo’s armpit than watch this.)
• High School Musical 2 (Come on! Really?)

Can you see where I’m going with this? Where there any original, creative, and entertaining movies this year? Maybe a couple. But I think it’s time for Hollywood to die. Who’s with me?

The only big drawback in the short term is this: Reality TV shows don’t need writers. Hmm. Maybe if we get the Teamsters involved we can get rid of those too!