[WARNING: Grumpy Old Man post ahead!]

Happy New Year’s Eve, everybody! 2013 is done. 2014 is here. And I’m so excited, I could take a nap.

This year I turned 40 years old which makes it totally OK for me to act like an old fart. I’m utilizing this new freedom to its fullest. I’ve found it much easier to make public snide comments, complaints, and bodily noises without shame.

Seriously, though. I know none of that is good. I should not be proud of it (and I’m really trying not to be).

2013 was not a banner year in my life. There were more disappointments than successes. I remain very grateful for God’s intense blessings. But I find myself focusing more on the disappointments. And that’s wrong.

I’m intensely thankful that Tammy healed from her ATV accident. I’m disappointed that it happened (ending our Colorado vacation in a far-from-home hospital). I’m very disappointed in how our health insurance has handled it.

I’m intensely thankful for my job. I’m disappointed that the economic slump has limited the “perks” we used to enjoy. I’m very disappointed that my good friend and co-worker RandyPants is leaving for greener pastures (but I’m thankful for his new opportunity).

I’m intensely thankful for my home. I’m disappointed that I have not been able to do the long list of repairs and upgrades that I had planned. I’m very disappointed that my home is not in the Colorado Rockies (nor are there realistic, near-term chances that it will be).

I’m intensely thankful for my health. I’m disappointed that my lack of self-discipline has left me only a few pounds away from my all-time high weight. I’m very disappointed that I’ve squandered a fairly expensive gym membership.

I’m intensely thankful for Christmas and the fact that Tammy and I were able to buy each other gifts. I’m disappointed that I was sick all week. I’m very disappointed that my cold caused us to cancel several of our favorite activities (and now Tammy is suffering from my unintentional Christmas gift to her… my cold).

Every year, I get a new Dilbert desk calendar. And on the first office day of the year, I flip to December 31st and ask my future self some tough questions. On the page for December 31st, 2013, the first line reads, “Still going to the gym? Yeah. I didn’t think so.” Wow. Thanks, me-from-the-past, for that stirring vote of confidence. You were totally right, but still…

I can’t continue to dwell on the negative. I just can’t. It’s not healthy. It makes it look like I’m not thankful for my innumerable blessings. It reflects poorly on my Faith. And it makes me sound like an old fart! I won’t have it! I’m not OK with this.

So what’s to be done? How do I remedy this old-farted-ness? I have some thoughts involving positive affirmation, goal setting and tracking, etc., but to be honest, I’m not sure if any of it will work.

Tomorrow is New Year’s Day. I know that it’s an arbitrary, subjective method for tracking our laps around the Sun, but it’s more than that. It’s a demarcation. It’s a line in the sand. It’s an excuse to say, “Today, I will change.” And as weak and arbitrary as I know it to be, I need it. I need to draw the line.

*sigh*

Or I could take a nap.

On that note, here’s the last White Board Quip for 2013.

Doing nothing is very hard to do, you never know when you’re finished. – Tracy Jordan

New WFHF video! In the “I do not like” series.

Great news, everybody! You’re Black Friday, free shipping, Amazon.com purchases are on their way! (Wait for the gif to load to track your packages!)

Who is “Amazing Grace” Hopper, you ask? Only the coolest old broad in the history of computer science! She wrote the world’s first program compiler, pioneered “human readable” programming code, designed the first widely accepted programming language (COBOL), championed the concept of network computing (the internet’s grandpa), and coined the term “debugging” when she found a literal bug in her computer. Long story short, every computer programmer in the world (including me) owes their livelihood to Amazing Grace.

In addition to making my job possible, she served her country faithfully for decades! She volunteered for the U.S. Navy during WWII and kept at it until she was involuntarily forced to retire at the tender young age of 79.

I really do like this lady. Sadly, she died during my senior year in high school and I didn’t learn about her and her amazing life until after I had graduated college. What I would give for one of here “nanosecond” wires!

Rather than retell her whole story here, just go read her wiki page.

[Added bonus! Found this link on Twitter. Amazing Grace on the Letterman show.]

Enjoy!!

It’s been years since I posted about secure passwords. If you’re a “new viewer,” please go read it! In fact, even if you’ve read it before, go read it again! YES! NOW!! (Don’t worry. I’ll wait.)

The one thing I would add to that article today is this:

7 – Make your passwords as long as allowed.

Password guessing tools are getting smarter and faster all the time. Too many websites don’t defend against “brute force” attacks (where a hacker can guess thousands of passwords a minute and only has to be right once).

Now, keep in mind, that first post was from 2010. One of the articles referenced was from 2008. The other one doesn’t even exist any more. So, surely by now, things have improved, right? People have finally learned how to secure their web identity, right?!

Well, as it turns out, no. Not at all.

Just this week, it came out that some two million passwords were recently stolen, including some from Facebook, Twitter, and Google (GMail and G+). So, change your passwords today! Seriously!! (I just did.)

What’s worse is what we learned from the stolen data. Passwords are just as stupid and weak now as they were five years ago! Of the two million passwords stolen, over 15,000 of them were “123456”… ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! The article goes on to compare password strength from the new data to password data from 2006 and it shows that passwords are getting worse, not better.

Back in 2006 the top ten most common passwords comprised only 0.9% of the total count. Today, in 2013, they add up to 2.4%.

I know this blog is usually funny and far from serious and that is my goal. But in all seriousness, please be smart about your passwords. The internet is a truly awesome tool. But if not used correctly, intelligently, and carefully, it can ruin your finances, your relationships, and, even your health and well-being.

[Wow. That got way to serious for a minute there.]

And remember to incorporate either “fart” or “poop” in your passwords at all times.

[There. That’s better.]

It’s beginning to look a lot like Life Day! (#HashTag #JokesForNerds)

And in that spirit, here’s this week’s white board quip:

If Steven Spielberg wasn’t a Jew, he’d be a Baptist putting on a Christmas pageant. – RandyPants