As a follow up to my rant on Netflix, Scott McKain, blogger at The Ultimate Customer Experience, posted a brilliant article dissecting the EPIC FAIL that is Netflix’s planned split. Here are some juicy bits to entice your clickage:

The problem is, Netflix’s letter — while well written — clearly displays a mistake of epic proportions.
…
Netflix isn’t a DVD-by-mail company, in the eyes of its customers. It’s not even a streaming-movies-on-your-computer-or-TV company. Netflix is where we go to get a movie.
…
Is there a difference between the business YOU think you are in — and what business your CUSTOMERS say you’re in? If there is…choose what THEY think! THEY are the reason YOU are still in business!

Now, go read the whole thing! DO IT!! (Clicky clicky.)

The old saying goes, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” Following that logic, “If you know what you did to break it, doing that same thing more won’t fix it.”

This simple logic seems too hard to understand for Netflix.

Netflix has decided that their online streaming service is more valuable than it’s DVD by mail service. Several months ago, they announced a price increase for the streaming service, previously included for free in their higher tier memberships (like mine). This amounted to a 60% increase in my bill. I changed my membership to avoid this price increase. About 1 million subscribers flat out cancelled.

When Netflix boss, Reed Hastings, started a press release this weekend with “I messed up.”, I had some hope. That hope didn’t last beyond the second paragraph.

Ultimately, what Hastings “messed up” was jacking up prices with no added service. The delusion Hastings expresses in his press release is that the mistake was in communication. Wha?! “I need to be extra-communicative. This is the key thing I got wrong.” What are you smoking, man?!

The “key thing” is a 60% price increase, plain and simple!! The “key thing” is that you are raising prices for nothing! Splitting up services for nothing. Making my membership more complicated for nothing! I don’t give a flying crap about your level of communication.

Instead of fixing the problem, Netflix is going to make it even worse. They’re splitting the DVD business into a new company with a new name and, presumably, a new website and price model, completely separate from their streaming service, which will retain the Netflix monicker. So, if your price increase and service changes broke the system, the solution is not to further change the service and keep the stinking price increase!!

I loved Netflix. I touted Netflix to friends, family and blog readers. I even defended Netflix when people talked about the problems (like poor selection, some titles becoming unavailable, and how slow Netflix adds new releases). But you’ll notice all of those are in the past tense. Frankly, I’m pissed at Netflix right now. And it’ll take a lot for them to win me back.

At this moment, my Netflix account is “on hold.” That means my account is still there, my DVD queue (nearly 400 titles) is still there, but I’m not paying and they’re not sending. I’m one small step away from just canceling my membership. I don’t want to cancel. I want to get my DVDs. I want to stream some TV shows once in a blue moon. And I want to do both from one service, with one queue and one library of titles at one simple and competitive price.

*sigh*

But, I guess that’s just too much to ask. I guess logic is just too much for some people.

Chick-fil-a is giving away breakfast! What? Fo’ real?

You betcha. Clicky clicky. (The site may be slow, but it’s worth the wait!)

It’s that time of year again. School is in full swing and cops are dolling out expensive school zone tickets.

This year’s high school seniors were born in 1994. If you an old man like me, that is a jarring statement. Let’s put that in perspective, shall we?

This year’s high school seniors were born the same year that these movies were released:

Pulp Fiction
Speed
Forest Gump
Dumb and Dumber
Lion King

The following TV shows were cancelled before these kids were born:

The Cosby Show (1992)
The Wonder Years (1993)
Saved By the Bell (1993)
Star Trek TNG (1994)

These kids have never…

“Rolled down” a car window.
“Dialed” a rotary phone. (For that matter, phones have not required a cord in their life time.)
Used a library card catalog (with actual cards).
Used an answering machine with a cassette tape inside.
Listened to a cassette tape.
Heard Ed McMahon say, “Heeeeeere’s Johnny!”

For their entire lives…

The Hummer has been available to civilians.
Wal-Mart has always had Super Centers offering groceries.
Blue Man Group has always been doing weird things with plumbing.
Food has always been packaged with “Nutritional Information.”
The term “school shooting” has always been a part of the American vernacular.
The internet has been widely available, but they’ve never heard a modem dial up.

If you don’t feel old after reading all that… get off my lawn and turn that racket down!! Ya dern kids.

A scientist whose famous drowning polar bears research armed global warming nut cases with their strongest, bleeding-heart, emotional and illogical claim has been placed on leave while the U.S. Bureau of Ocean Energy Management, Regulation and Enforcement investigates possible “scientific misconduct.” (Full story)

Meanwhile, NASA climate data shows that over the last 10 years or so, the dreaded carbon dioxide supposedly killing our atmosphere has had very little green house effect. “There is a huge discrepancy between the data and the forecasts that is especially big over the oceans.” (Full story)

So the polar bears are not drowning and carbon dioxide is not causing green-house-effect global warming*. But, I’m sure you won’t hear about any of this on CNN.

What will the next hysteria-inducing plot be? You know they’re probably already working on it. I expect it will hit the news sometime in the next five years or so. Check out this previous post and read the secret recipe so you can spot the next one.

*Carbon dioxide is not a green house gas. Nor is the freon that used to cheaply run your air conditioner. Nor are the CFCs that used to cheaply pressurize your hair spray and dry clean your clothes. All these have now been regulated or flat out outlawed by the eco-nuts and replace with more expensive, less effective options. But, of course, we know exactly why, don’t we?

It’s hot. Daaaang hot. DFW is up to 13 consecutive 100+ degree days and the forecast is all triple digits. So what’s a body to to when it gets this hot?

Well, according to HolidayInsights.com, for that very reason, July 14th is National Nude Day. That makes sense to me.

Only problem is, I rode my motorcycle to work today. Potentially deadly road-rash aside, have you ever been hit on the bare skin with grasshopper going 60 miles per hour?! Neither have I, and I’d like to keep it that way! Yeeouch!

Texas State Senator Chris Harris (R-Arlington) earned his reelection this week. He sits on the Senate Committee on Transportation and Homeland Security. This committee was hearing testimony against SB9, the “Sanctuary Cities Ban” which establishes Texas law allowing (not requiring) law enforcement to ask for proof of immigration status. This law would trump local laws in so called “sanctuary cities” that tie the hands of law enforcement in those towns, preventing enforcement existing immigration law.

The important bit is just after 0:35, so you can skip ahead if you want.

The testimony here was given by a man who has lived in Austin for over twenty years… in Spanish. Now here’s the real kicker and what makes Sen. Harris so right. When challenged by Sen. Harris, the man responded in English! His use of Spanish despite the fact that he can speak English was a shameful stunt.

This is exactly what is wrong with the amnesty movement. They don’t want to be Americans. They want to be Latinos living in America. This nation is a melting pot. We appreciate your culture and would love to include it into ours, so long as you follow our laws and show desire to melt into our culture. But these people don’t want to be included. They want to be separate. They want to be apart. They want our social programs, our higher wages, our superior health care, but they don’t want to learn English. (Even when they already know it!) They want to leach off America’s prosperity but want nothing to do with being American.

Now, go ahead and call me a racist and an ignorant white boy. That’s exactly what I expect. In fact, it’d be even better if you did it in Spanish because that would perfectly prove my point. (And I would still understand you. I know all the good Spanish insults because I’ve heard them all before.)

I have worked with Mexican nationals who spent years working to get legal immigration status and eventually citizenship. I have also done mission work across the border in the “outer limits” where even most Mexicans won’t go. Where people live with dirt floors and canvass roofs (or worse). When I talked to real Mexicans about the suffering in these areas I was told (and I quote) “They have no water or electricity because they choose to live outside the city.” That is the party line in Mexico. That is the government stance. If you are suffering from poverty it is your choice. Why don’t you just hop the fence or swim the river and let America feed you.

The next time you meet a La Raza chanting the racism lie, ask them if they know what Mexico’s immigration policy is. Ask them if they know that, in Mexico, you are required to show your papers every time you speak to law enforcement. Ask them if they know that illegal immigrants in southern Mexico are arrested on sight; no trial, no questions; and deported across the southern border as soon as possible. Ask them if they know how many Mexican citizens hate and abuse Guatemalans, Hondurans, and any other Latinos who try to make their way north to prosperity. Because I do. I have seen these things. I have heard these things from the people who lived it. Am I still an ignorant white racist? Or are the La Razas the ignorant ones?

*Deep breath* Ok. I’m done.

So, if you follow my Twitter feed or Facebook statuses… statum… stati… whatever… then you know that we’ve had some rotten weather this Spring and last night specifically.

With the horror stories of massive tornadoes this year, Tammy and I were both thinking about emergency planning. I did some research on the subject and found that we were missing some important aspects. (Below are some things for you to think about too!) Purely by coincidence we had just discussed emergency plans and what we were missing in our storm shelter not knowing that six hours later, we’d be cozied up in that same, very recently stocked, shelter.

Our storm closet is right off the living room, so we spent most of the evening sitting on the floor outside the closet door, where we could still see the TV, dressed in our motorcycle gear for maximum protection. The local weather guys were frantically trying to follow the storm that had three main parts, all tracking across the metroplex, and all producing dangerous rotations, straight line winds, and very large hail. Many of our friends and coworkers suffered damage from wind and baseball sized hail!

A storm chaser reported a large rotation less than a mile from our house and within seconds there was a brief roar of wind that made our whole house creak. It only lasted for a couple of seconds, but it made me glad we were in our shelter with our motorcycle gear on, ready for the worst.

After the weather cleared, we checked over the house and everything seemed intact. This morning, Tammy checked out the neighborhood. A half a block away, several fences and trees were totaled. One house lost their covered porch. The porch roof folded up onto the house roof. Thank you, God, for protecting us!!

[Click these pictures to see larger versions.]

Emergency Preparedness

At Home:

Shelter: Designate a small, internal (no windows) room or closet on the lowest floor (basement is best) to be your storm shelter. Bathrooms are good, especially if there is a bathtub. Store in this room: flashlight, first aide kit, blankets, water, a battery or hand-crank radio (make sure it gets good reception in that room). Also recommended: goggles/eye protection, dust masks, a mattress or other form of padding to protect you from debris. And don’t forget extra clothes and sturdy shoes.

Disasters often happen at night, so you might just make it into your shelter in your jammies (if you wear jammies *wink*). You don’t want to crawl out of the wreckage of your house naked and barefoot! And, in case you are trapped in the rubble, you need to be able to survive for a few days with only what is in your shelter.

We chose the large closet under our staircase. We already store our motorcycle gear there, so it’s convenient to put it on for protection.

Supplies: In case you are stranded at home or conveniences are unavailable, you should have everything you need to survive for a week. Obviously: non-perishable food and water (1 gallon per person per day). Less obvious, but just as necessary: Toilet paper, medications, feminine products, person protection (That you know how to use!!), and first aide (That you know how to use!!)

We have a stash in our shelter closet and always have a pile of Cliff Bars, canned food, and water in the kitchen.

Away From Home:

Meeting Points: What if a massive tornado hits your work place or school? Your car will be destroyed and your cell phone won’t work. What if your neighborhood is destroyed while you are away. The police will probably block off the entire area to prevent looting. How will you find each other.

For every location that you spend a lot of time, you need to have a near-by meeting point. Not so near that it would also be destroyed, but near enough that you could walk there. Even better if it’s on or near a major road or highway so your loved ones will be able to get there easily. Pick a place small enough that you won’t be lost in a crowd. Walmart: no. Starbucks: yes.

This one’s for Osama:

http://amzn.to/kHvmwG

Amazing! Stupendous! Why didn’t someone think of this sooner?!

The best new product of 2011 is…

[Drum roll]

2-D Glasses!!

Yes, now you too can enjoy all the latest action block-busters and animated hilarity that Hollywood can throw at you even though they insist on releasing said hilarious busters in [dramatically evil reverb voice] evil 3D.

Yes, I’m being completely serious. Hank of the VlogBrothers has actually conceived and brought to market 2D glasses that allow you to watch 3D movies without the headaches and vertigo! Seriously!

Check it out: http://www.2d-glasses.com

Take that, Hollywood!