She finally got it.

Tammy promised me years ago that when we bought a house, she’d learn to cook. (Not that she can’t cook now, it’s just… well… not worth explaining really.)

When we started serious house shopping about six months ago, she got all bedazzled by the latest kitchen envy item, a Kitchen Aid mixer. They’re everywhere! Walmart, Lowes, Kohls, everywhere! And everywhere we went, she would ooh and ahh and tell me that if she only had one of those, she could cook all kinds of great stuff in our new kitchen. When I asked for something more specific than “stuff”, I seldom got a satisfactory answer, but who needs specifics?

Two weeks ago, we finally got our new kitchen. So far, I’ve used the microwave once, and the stove and oven have yet to be turned on. This is nothing against Tammy, though. We are just honestly way too busy. We finally hit the grocery story yesterday (after nearly a month) just to buy the essentials.

This weekend, I gave Tammy her heart’s desire. We brought home a mixer. It’s black, to match our shiny new frig. (I refuse to spell it “fridge” because it’s not a “refridgerator” it’s a refrigerator!) I’ll try to remember to report back to you how this culinary magic machine effects our dining choices.

This brings us to this week’s white board quip, which concerns cake (something the mixer could actually help):

You can’t have cake for breakfast… unless it’s a pancake.
– Jim Gaffigan

I think, deep down, I posted this just to get “It’s A Small World” stuck in somebody’s head. Please comment if I succeeded.

It’s a small world, but I wouldn’t want to have to paint it.
– Steven Wright

In honor of  Embrace Your Geekness Day, this week’s quip is surfeit with geekitude.

There are 10 kinds of people in the world: Those who understand binary and those who don’t.

Bad news! I’ve got two white board quips back to back again. Time to start draining the big tub of posts in my queue.

I like my coffee like I like my women: In a plastic cup.
-Eddie Izzard

Don’t think about this one too long.

Do you ever lie and why should I believe you?

This, I believe, is a first. This week’s white board quip is a bit of self glorification. I’m pretty sure this is the first time I’ve ever had a white board quip in which I was the original author. When I said it, those present told me that I must put this in the queue for my white board.

I would say that it is not in the specs, but… HA HAAA!  WHAT SPECS?!  FOOL!!

Memorial Day is passed. Summer is here. Time to clean out your closets and get ready for all your warm weather hobbies!

For Sale: Parachute. Only used once. Never opened. Small stain.

WARNING: Hanging out with teenagers may expose you to unusual and not-well-thought-out statements.

Dude! We should tap dance!
– Kason Bryden

I love The Office.

Betrayal ain’t just a river in Egypt.
– Michael Scott

Yep. I grew up on the street. “Near and far.” “The letter T.” “C is for Cookie.” Yeah. I got cred.

I never watch Sesame Street. I know most of that stuff.