Yet another geekish quip this week. I don’t think this is from thinkgeek.com, but I’m not positive of that.

/* You are not expected to understand this */

If you don’t know what it means… well, then it is an effective comment.

This week’s WBQotW comes straight from my favorite source of t-shirts and cubicle toys, ThinkGeek.com.

2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.

Remember the good old days when life was simple and going to a gym had nothing to do with new years resolutions. This week’s white board quip draws on those days of yore. I give you… Garth.

She makes me feel kinda funny like when we used to climb the rope in gym class.

I’m pretty sure Garth was “on the wing” for that girl. *wink*

Does anyone know how “the birds and the bees” have anything to do with sex education? Birds lay eggs in nests and bees have one queen and hundreds of drones which fertilize her. Dude, if that is what sex is supposed to be like, I’m very very lost.

Maybe it’s because I made it all the way through public school with only one chapter of Sex Ed. (8th grade health class was probably the most uncomfortable time of my entire life.)

Many people tell me sex education should start at birth.
Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders

Yeah. I’m sure the Feds would do a much better job of teaching about these things.*

Man, I said “sex” five times in one post. This should get me tons of google hits!

(* Please read that sentence with as much sarcasm as you can muster. Imagine Bill Maher talking about Pat Robertson for President and then bump it up a notch from there.)

I’m baaaack. Back to the internet. I thought it only appropriate for this week’s WBQotW to come from “Back to the Future”.

Why don’t you make like a tree and get out of here.
Biff Tannen

I’ve been playing Delta Force the last few nights. I used to be a DF-aholic years ago. It was the game of choice when I worked at Insurance Technologies. We’d play for hours after work.

All that is to say that I’ve got bullets on my mind, which is why this weeks WBQotW cracks me up.

We can make safer weapons. We can make safer bullets.
Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders

I picture a policeman drawing on a thief and a bright red “BANG!” flag popping from his gun barrel.

Cop: I got you!
Robber: Nuh-uh! You missed.
Cop: I totally got you I was pointing right at you when I yelled, “Bang!”
Robber: Oh yeah? Well, I got Superman underwear on, so your bullets don’t hurt me!

I’m sure you’ve gotten the email with the funny typos and grammatical errors in church announcements and classified ads. Well tough. Some of them are funny enough for my white board, like this one:

Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.

I am Batman. No, really! I am!

I became enamored with the shadowy caped crusader back when Tim Burton directed the first Batman movie. Thus, this week’s quip comes from one of my favorite films of all time.

Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?

What?! How could I have missed WBQotW #50 without having some kind of celebration?! BAH! I blame the Holidays.

Can you believe it? #52 quips (in much more than 52 weeks because your host tends to get preoccupied … or … well … absent minded).

This week’s quip hails from a well known 80’s TV commercial. I’ve actually seen Mrs. Fletcher resurrected in a new ad not too long ago. My relationship with Mrs. Fletcher blossomed when Dr. Demento played a song about here back in the mid 90’s.

I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!
– Mrs. Fletcher

In researching this post, I found that Mrs. Fletcher is more famous than I thought. You can read about her on Wikipedia. This quip has run the gamut from Johnny Carson to Star Wars: Phantom Menace. Who knew that Mrs. Fletcher’s catch phrase would reach to galaxies far far away?

I tried to find the song, or even the lyrics, that played on Dr. Demento with no luck. Any net sleuths feel up to the challenge?

I know that there are a lot of you out there suffering from viral attacks. Tis the season, I suppose, for sicky-bugs. My house has been spared thus far (knock on particle board). But for those of you out there whose bodies are slugging it out with microscopic maladies, this week’s WBQotW offers a bit of encouragement from Clinton appointed Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders.

We all will probably die with something sooner or later.