Happy New Year!! Twenty-Eleven. Can you believe it? So is everyone making resolutions to work out? Eat better? Lose weight? Well, let this first WBQotW of the year inspire you.

Mountain Dew and Cheetos… Because breakfast is the most important meal of the day.

Hookers don’t like to snuggle.

Not that I would know. It was a bumper sticker I saw. Seriously.

‘Tis the season for gluttony, greed and lust. So this week’s white board quip is a gentle reminder to keep your holiday wish list in check and your holiday serving sizes reasonable.

You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?
– Steven Wright

This week’s white board quip (Okay, so it’s actually this month’s quip. Get over it.) is to honor those brave souls protecting us from mayhem and certain death in the skies. Of course, I’m talking about the TSA … ‘s pat-down victims.

*Knock knock* Hey, pilot! I promise not to terror you.
Paul – who is a ghost

Don’t ping my cheese with your bandwidth!

The trouble with nude dancing is that not everything stops when the music does.
– Harvie Krumpet

Now, if you thought that this week’s white board quip was dirty or sexual, then you are not fat enough.

I’m your huckleberry.
– Doc Holliday (“Tombstone”)

That is all. Move along. Nothing to see here.

…In case you didn’t know.

I continue to struggle with some back pain. It’s not debilitating, but it sure is irritating. I’ve pulled back muscles before, but after a day or two of rest, I was able to get back to normal life. But I guess I was younger then. Not so now.

So, in honor of realizing my mortality, I offer this week’s white board quip.

I intend to live forever – so far, so good.
-Steven Wright

This week’s white board quip has a pretty funny story behind it. Stephen Hunter was (is?) a movie reviewer for the Washington Post. The following is his review of the movie “Gigli” (pronouced “jee-lee,” widely accepted as the worst movie of the early 21st century).

Ach. Oy. Woe and poo, bleccch and uck! ZZZZZ-zzz…

When cheese gets it’s picture taken, what does it say?
– George Carlin