And it’s called “Cookies.”

Feeling a little weird today. Not like weird weird. That’d be normal… for me.

I’m not myself today. Maybe I’m you.

The Slow and the Irritated
Olympus Might Fall
The Okay Gatsby
Afternoon of the Living Dead
The Supper Club
Drafting Private Ryan
Snakes Near An Airport
A Larva’s Life
The Princess Girlfriend
Bill & Ted’s Uneventful Middle School
Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along LiveJournal
Willy Wonka & The Small Business Loan
The Lion, the Witch and the Trip to Ikea
The “Meh, I Could Eat” Games
Planet of the Humans
Batman: The Double Funeral
Indiana Jones and the Penultimate Crusade
The Moderately Fast and the Not Feeling Well At All
Harry Potter and the 11 Years of Child Abuse
Stands Awkwardly on the Edge of the Dance Floor with Wolves
Star Disagreements

This is not mine. But it’s at least as awesome as my videos wish they were when they dream beautiful dreams.

Hey, everybody! Great news! I’m feeling better. It’s a new year. Time to shake off the grumpies (from that last post) and get something done!

C’mon, Steve. We’ve got a diem to carpe!
-Flint Lockwood

[WARNING: Grumpy Old Man post ahead!]

Happy New Year’s Eve, everybody! 2013 is done. 2014 is here. And I’m so excited, I could take a nap.

This year I turned 40 years old which makes it totally OK for me to act like an old fart. I’m utilizing this new freedom to its fullest. I’ve found it much easier to make public snide comments, complaints, and bodily noises without shame.

Seriously, though. I know none of that is good. I should not be proud of it (and I’m really trying not to be).

2013 was not a banner year in my life. There were more disappointments than successes. I remain very grateful for God’s intense blessings. But I find myself focusing more on the disappointments. And that’s wrong.

I’m intensely thankful that Tammy healed from her ATV accident. I’m disappointed that it happened (ending our Colorado vacation in a far-from-home hospital). I’m very disappointed in how our health insurance has handled it.

I’m intensely thankful for my job. I’m disappointed that the economic slump has limited the “perks” we used to enjoy. I’m very disappointed that my good friend and co-worker RandyPants is leaving for greener pastures (but I’m thankful for his new opportunity).

I’m intensely thankful for my home. I’m disappointed that I have not been able to do the long list of repairs and upgrades that I had planned. I’m very disappointed that my home is not in the Colorado Rockies (nor are there realistic, near-term chances that it will be).

I’m intensely thankful for my health. I’m disappointed that my lack of self-discipline has left me only a few pounds away from my all-time high weight. I’m very disappointed that I’ve squandered a fairly expensive gym membership.

I’m intensely thankful for Christmas and the fact that Tammy and I were able to buy each other gifts. I’m disappointed that I was sick all week. I’m very disappointed that my cold caused us to cancel several of our favorite activities (and now Tammy is suffering from my unintentional Christmas gift to her… my cold).

Every year, I get a new Dilbert desk calendar. And on the first office day of the year, I flip to December 31st and ask my future self some tough questions. On the page for December 31st, 2013, the first line reads, “Still going to the gym? Yeah. I didn’t think so.” Wow. Thanks, me-from-the-past, for that stirring vote of confidence. You were totally right, but still…

I can’t continue to dwell on the negative. I just can’t. It’s not healthy. It makes it look like I’m not thankful for my innumerable blessings. It reflects poorly on my Faith. And it makes me sound like an old fart! I won’t have it! I’m not OK with this.

So what’s to be done? How do I remedy this old-farted-ness? I have some thoughts involving positive affirmation, goal setting and tracking, etc., but to be honest, I’m not sure if any of it will work.

Tomorrow is New Year’s Day. I know that it’s an arbitrary, subjective method for tracking our laps around the Sun, but it’s more than that. It’s a demarcation. It’s a line in the sand. It’s an excuse to say, “Today, I will change.” And as weak and arbitrary as I know it to be, I need it. I need to draw the line.

*sigh*

Or I could take a nap.

On that note, here’s the last White Board Quip for 2013.

Doing nothing is very hard to do, you never know when you’re finished. – Tracy Jordan

New WFHF video! In the “I do not like” series.

Great news, everybody! You’re Black Friday, free shipping, Amazon.com purchases are on their way! (Wait for the gif to load to track your packages!)

Who is “Amazing Grace” Hopper, you ask? Only the coolest old broad in the history of computer science! She wrote the world’s first program compiler, pioneered “human readable” programming code, designed the first widely accepted programming language (COBOL), championed the concept of network computing (the internet’s grandpa), and coined the term “debugging” when she found a literal bug in her computer. Long story short, every computer programmer in the world (including me) owes their livelihood to Amazing Grace.

In addition to making my job possible, she served her country faithfully for decades! She volunteered for the U.S. Navy during WWII and kept at it until she was involuntarily forced to retire at the tender young age of 79.

I really do like this lady. Sadly, she died during my senior year in high school and I didn’t learn about her and her amazing life until after I had graduated college. What I would give for one of here “nanosecond” wires!

Rather than retell her whole story here, just go read her wiki page.

[Added bonus! Found this link on Twitter. Amazing Grace on the Letterman show.]

Enjoy!!