Ewwww.

From Engrish.com

When you were born, who was on the cover of…

Time Magazine? Richard Nixon, “The Push to Impeach”.

Sports Illustrated? College football, “Notre Dame Stacks Up USC”.

Esquire? John F. Kennedy eating ice cream, “Trying to remember J.F.K.”.

Rolling Stone? Daniel Ellsburg (Some antiwar-pinko-liberal who contributed to the downfall of Nixon. Ellsburg is still around, now trying to bring about the fall of Bush.)

TVGuide? A collage, Bob Hope, Julie Andrews, Sammy Davis Jr., Elvis and more.

National Lampoon? A soap box derby kid on fire, “Sports”.

Mad Magazine? Alfred E. Newman (duh!) building a sand castle.

I stole this idea from a blog I frequent, but don’t link to. (She’s a brilliant, gun-toting, conservative Christian, but she has a poo-poo mouth not suitable for my kiddie readers.) If you ask me nice, I might send you the link.

Ahh, celebrity. It’s that unique quality that turns a very likable person into a complete jerk. Fred Allen said it best:

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

Yes, it is that time again. This week’s WBQotW pays homage to that less morbid of life’s two inevitabilities.

A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always count on the support of Paul.

Q: Why do programmers get Halloween and Christmas confused?

A: Because 31 OCT == 25 DEC

* Don’t be upset (or even surprised for that matter) if you don’t get this joke. In fact, you might be a healthier human being if you don’t. If you do get it, then sit back and remember those glory days in Discrete Math and laugh until Mountain Dew squirts out of your nose and ruins your “Seven of Nine” mouse pad.

The “Spring Musical” is in full swing. Last night was the first musical run-through with the choir and orchestra. Tonight, will be a full run-through (with dialog and songs).

When I auditioned for the musical this year, I resolved not to complain about it. During previous Christmas and Easter musicals, I have moaned and groaned about spending hours and hours at the church. Not this time.

This is a ministry which is to say I am offering my time to God and I am a firm believer that God does not accept a begrudged offering. Yes, we have spent an average of five nights a week at the church. Yes, I am tired. But if I want God to bless this production and bless people through it, I need to grow up a little and tough it out. I hope I’ve done a better job this time around.

Oh! And I’m not sure I mentioned this, but this will be the first time (since a Christmas pageant in 2nd grade) that I am singing a solo on stage. Scary! I get lots of encouragement from the choir and cast, but I’m still really nervous about it. Fear is foreign to me. I’m usually not afraid of anything other than physical pain. In fact, I’m usually not afraid to belt out a tune, but those are always Dr. Demento tunes and intended to make people laugh. This is totally different.

Oone last thing. Since I am playing a member of the Sanhedrin (Jewish high council) I am expected to grow a beard. HA! I’ll post pictures soon. It’s really pathetic.

What were you doing five years ago?
In March 2001 I had just gotten laid off from my first ‘real’ job after college, Insurance Technologies. They blamed the tech stock crash.

Five snacks I enjoy:
Cheetoes
Chili-cheese Fritos
Gorp (Good Old Raisins and Peanuts)
Nerds (Grape and Strawberry)
Butterfinger

Five songs to which I know all the lyrics:
“With or Without You” by U2
“I Love Rocky Road” by Weird Al Yankovic
“Flood” by Jars of Clay
“So Happy Together” by The Turtles
“Amazing Grace” verses 1, 2, and 4 *wink*

Five things I’d do if I were a millionaire:
Give a chunk to the church
Pay off my debt
Pay off my parents’ debt
Buy a house
Buy a car with cash in a metal brief case (and demand a retardedly low price)

Five bad habits:
Procrastination
Laziness
Surfing too much
Vocal ticks (from mild Tourette)
Snoring

Five things I like doing:
Loving on my angel, Tammy
Mountain Biking
Rock Climbing
PC Gaming (Strategy and MMORPG)
Eating

Five things I would never wear or buy:
A Macintosh
A suit
Shorts that go past my knees
A pet (cat, dog, fish, or otherwise)
Flip-flops (I own a pair, but they’re only for wearing in locker room showers.)

Five favorite toys:
Mountain bike
Computer
Climbing wall in my garage
Gameboy Advanced
Camera

This week’s white board quip comes from one of those ancient email forwards which purports to contain actual classified ads.

Classified ad – Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory.

Clearly, the machine operators’ union has grown too powerful!

Early this morning, a once in a century event took place. I tried to stay up for it, but I didn’t make it. Did you?!

I’m sure you know what I’m talking about, but for those not in the know, our clocks experienced the following rare event:

01:02:03 04/05/06

Some folks will have to look at that for a minute to figure out the significance. The rest of us will wait for them to “get it”.

…

Ah! See now?! Isn’t that cool? Oh one, oh two, oh three… Twenty one minutes later, a slightly less cool event took place, which I also slept through:

1:23 4/5/6

Some folks say that you can enjoy this again this afternoon, but that doesn’t really count. Every good geek knows that 1 PM is really just 13 o’clock and there’s nothing cool about 13:02:03… Yeah. I’m a geek. Get over it.

Thanks for sharing this amazing second with me. I look forward to sharing 12:34 5/6/7 with you next year!

(Shamelessly scraped from The Sneeze.)

Yet another geekish quip this week. I don’t think this is from thinkgeek.com, but I’m not positive of that.

/* You are not expected to understand this */

If you don’t know what it means… well, then it is an effective comment.