I just want to say that Superbowl XLII was what superbowls are supposed to be like. Down to the last play, nail-biting excitement. And to top it all off, the team I was rooting for won.

We watched the game, as usual, with a dozen or so middle school kids from our church. And there was plenty of the usual teen-angst fueled, “Oh yeah?” and “Nuh-huh!” going back and forth about who would win. The vocal minority was supporting the Pats, while all the adults and a quieter majority of the kids were pulling for the Giants. There were some pretty interesting, non-monetary bets being offered, which I managed to avoid.

I was pulling for the Giants, first and foremost because my good friend and former co-worker Dave O’Hara had family pride involved. Dave’s younger brother Shaun is the Giant’s starting center (#60). I’ve met Shaun and he’s a great guy. I had other reasons, but none worth sharing.

None of us could believe how low-scoring the game was. Both defenses were really amazing. There were remarkably few penalties, no time wasted with calls being reviewed, and just enough “big” plays. (I *loved* the Manning to Tyree magic that would have impressed Houdini himself.)

I also had high hopes for the commercials this year. It seemed like the lull of the last few years might be over and some real stand-outs would show up.

It was nice that there didn’t seem to be lot of “skintillation” this year. One Vicky’s Secret ad, and even that wasn’t bad. Although, there was the guy starting a car with his man-boobs.

The Planters unibrow girl was great. Coke’s parade balloon battle was clever. eTrade took a risk with the talking baby but overcame the talking-baby-creepiness factor by making a creepiness reference. Still, the spit-up one was a little over the edge for me. Doritos gets the “Wha??” Award for their giant mouse attack. And I would normally change channels for a Pepsi ad featuring Justin Timberlake, but when Timberlake takes a good beating, I’ll allow it.

I have to say I had a difficult tie for first place. Bridgestone’s screaming squirrel had me in stitches. (My favorite was the scream from the grasshopper. “eeeeeeehh!”) And Tide’s talking stain was awesome. (“Blemalablulalahilola!”) It’s just too close to call a clear winner.

Honorable mentions also include Tiny Head, Richard Simmons Run-Down, Godfather Car, Carrier Pigeons, and Thriller lizards (only because of the pop culture reference).

And I’ll go out of my way to say I didn’t like CareerBuilder’s Heart. It was… I don’t know… too gross I guess.

Apparently, the Cowboy’s fulfilling my playoff expectations was not the only big event that happened yesterday. It seems that in a mundane hotel conference room somewhere in L.A. Hollywood finally threw the kind of award show they deserve.

My contempt for the self-congratulatory circuses is well documented. I’m very glad to hear that the writer’s strike has hit Hollywood where it hurts the most, their pride!

I’ll bet you didn’t even know that the Golden Globes took place this weekend. I sure didn’t. I just happened to catch a link to the non-story on Drudge. It would seem that without the writer’s guild’s blessing, the show that is usually a red-carpet, super-extravagant, over-produced, back-patting showcase was instead on par with an Amway sales pitch at the local Holiday Inn.

The hotel ballroom, which should have been filled with famous nominees cheek-to-cheek at cozy tables, instead was given over to risers holding TV cameras and an audience of reporters and anonymous others.
…
Lacking Hollywood’s trademark famous faces and manufactured excitement, the awards … were missing any magic or meaning – an emperor stripped of his designer duds.
…
TV viewers – those who bothered tuning in – had to forgo any celebrity sightings and settle for the likes of Billy Bush of “Access Hollywood” and Mary Hart of “Entertainment Tonight” fame. They read a laundry list of winners, supplemented by clips from nominated film and TV shows.

Now that’s what I call entertainment!</sarcasm> I only hope the guild’s snub of the Oscars has the same effect.

Some industry pundits are taking this to the extreme. One even forecasting, “Hollywood’s end is near.” Oh, if only ’twas true. I’m honestly excited to see Hollywood and her elitist twits served a large helping of humble pie when they find out that we cretins out in “flyover country” will live on as happy as ever without the bilge they call “entertainment”, but I’m not so naive as to think that their pedestal will actually be toppled. Then again hope springs eternal.

I just want to say this before the phenomenon sweeps the nation for a second time.

I witnessed American Gladiators when it premiered back in 1989. It was all about guts, sweat, glory and tight tank tops with short shorts… on guys.

This is what 21st century game shows were supposed to look like! Back then, the future was looking bright and I was confident that by 2001 we’d be watching Monday Night Rollerball. Sadly that never happened. Instead we ended up with Fear Factor and Survivor. Oh, poor baby has to eat a bug… Bogus!!

Here’s hoping this new generation will follow through.

It may be old news by now, but I wanted to get this out and see if anyone knows more about it.

The soon to be released movie, “The Golden Compass” has raised the ire of many Christian groups. Despite the impressive star-power and production values this movie boasts, the story behind it seems pretty nefarious. The movie is based on the first book of a trilogy written by secular humanist and staunch atheist Philip Pullman. Pullman’s trilogy, “His Dark Materials”, was written in response (or perhaps retaliation) to C.S. Lewis’ Christian allegory, “The Chronicles of Narnia”. It is Pullman’s attempt to, “kill god in the minds of children”.

Snopes puts it this way in their article on “The Golden Compass”:

Philip Pullman’s His Dark Materials trilogy of children’s books [is] a series that follows the adventures of a streetwise girl who travels through multiple worlds populated by witches, armor-plated bears, and sinister ecclesiastical assassins to defeat the oppressive forces of a senile God.

“Compass” is the first, and least offensive of the books, designed to pull in readers. Reports are that the movie is a “dumbed down” version of the book (but really, what movie isn’t) to increase it’s appeal and mask it’s anti-religious theme. Later in the trilogy, the protagonist kids fight against the church, referred to as the “Magisterium”, in order reach and kill God, referred to as “Yahweh”.

I don’t consider myself a rank-and-file religious nut. Instead, I try to be a careful, thoughtful, truthful religious nut, basing my beliefs on facts rather than hearsay. I’m not planning to see “Compass” but that was established long before I heard about all this hubbub. I haven’t seen any of the recent fairy tale movies, like “Pan’s Labyrinth” and “The Last Mimzy”. They just don’t appeal to me. Maybe I’ve just had enough of Hollywood’s pseudo-philosophy that seems to drip from the genre. Or maybe I’m actually growing up a little. … Nah! That can’t be it.

Anyway, I wanted to stir the pot a bit on this one and see what percolates. I would love to have some comments from anyone more familiar with the subject. Maybe someone who’s actually read the books. If I had time, I’d find them at the library and read them myself, but that seems unlikely.

I await your thoughts.

Oh what fun it is to waste time on the internet!!

At ElfYourself.com, use any old JPG image of someone to create a jolly old elf version of that person which will dance merrily around your screen. You can have up to four elves, but I’ll give you this warning: The first face you enter ends up on a female body. Boy, that was embarrassing!

Check out the Trint and Tammy Elves! (Notice the Trint elf has absolutely no rhythm. How’d they know?!)

You can also go ScroogeYourself! (Hey, it’s not dirty! Get your minds out of the gutter, people!) I used a picture of myself in “evil Pharisee” stage make-up. It’s scroogeriffic!

You may have noticed that Part I and Part II of this series are contradictory. That’s the genius of my master plan, see? I want to encourage both sides of this standoff to hold out as long as possible. If it goes on long enough, maybe, just maybe, Hollywood will collapse. The over-paid, egotistical freak show that has brought us years of pathetic movies (for a retarded $8-12 a ticket) will be brought to it’s knees and we can all go back to the days when movies were entertaining enough to be worth the ticket (the $5 ticket).

The way I see it, Hollywood has outlived is usefulness anyway. This is the 21st century for Pete’s sake! Are we still relying on 10 square miles of Liberal backwash for our entertainment? Let’s move on people!

After the great crash of 2008, Hollywood will be back, they’ll recover. But they won’t have the money or the hubris to spend millions of dollars on craptacular shows like “I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry” or Liberal bilge like “Lions for Lambs”.

Let’s face it. Hollywood is out of ideas! Don’t believe me? Here’s a taste of 2007’s unoriginal crop:

• 300 (Based on a comic book.)
• F4 – Silver Surfer (A sequel based on a comic book.)
• Ghost Rider (Based on a comic book.)
• Underdog (Based on a TV cartoon.)
• Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (A remake based on a TV cartoon.)
• The Simpson’s Movie (Based on a TV cartoon.)
• Transformers (Based on a TV cartoon.)
• 28 Weeks Later (A sequel.)
• The Invasion (A slasher remake.)
• Hostel II (A slasher sequel.)
• The Hills Have Eyes II (A slasher sequel.)
• Saw IV (A slasher sequel.)
• Resident Evil: Extinction (A slasher sequel based on a video game.)
• Halloween (A sequel to a now 30-year-old slasher series. Seriously?)
• Hannibal Rising (A prequel to the prequel to the sequel to… Oh I give up.)
• Ocean’s Thirteen (The second sequel of a remake. How sad is that?)
• Pirates: At World’s End (A sequel.)
• Spiderman 3 (A sequel based on a comic book.)
• Harry Potter: Order of the Phoenix (Pretty good, but still a sequel based on a book.)
• Bourne Ultimatum (I’ve heard it’s awesome, but still a sequel.)
• Shrek the Third (A completely unnecessary sequel.)
• Evan Almighty (A sequel, and, from what I’ve heard, a suckfest.)
• Rush Hour 3 (A sequel. C’mon Jackie. You’re better than this.)
• Live Free or Die Hard (A very late and pathetic sequel. Go back to bed, Bruce.)
• Hairspray (A remake with John Travolta in drag. I’d rather lick a hobo’s armpit than watch this.)
• High School Musical 2 (Come on! Really?)

Can you see where I’m going with this? Where there any original, creative, and entertaining movies this year? Maybe a couple. But I think it’s time for Hollywood to die. Who’s with me?

The only big drawback in the short term is this: Reality TV shows don’t need writers. Hmm. Maybe if we get the Teamsters involved we can get rid of those too!

Now I want to put another two cents in on the writer’s strike. You can get up do date on the subject by reading Part I.

I think the studios should not give in. Anyone who knows anything about the movie business knows that that Hollywood has been going through a very difficult time financially since as far back as 2005. Studios are losing a fortune to pirate DVDs and illegal online distribution of their properties. Fewer and fewer people are coming to the theater. The financial situation for many studios is truly critical.

The writers union is one of many with which studios must juggle their dwindling resources. Teamsters, the Screen Actor’s Guild, and many others all vie for their cut of an ever shrinking pie. If the studios cave in and give more money to writers, who will follow? Directors? Sound editors? Prop builders? The list is a mile long.

In a very short period of time, all these unions will [descend*] on Hollywood like a plague of locusts, stripping the industry of every shred of profitability leaving behind a barren waste that once was Hollywood.

Besides, as you can see from the paragraph above, good writing isn’t that hard. Even I can do it.

So, I say: Studios, stand your ground! Don’t let those money grubbing leaches threaten you! If they think you can’t survive without them, prove them wrong. We’ll see just how long their union dues are able to pay for their valley condos while they lounge on the picket lines.

(Continue reading Part III.)

[*Edit: Yeah, yeah. I used the wrong word. Why can’t my spell checker catch stupid homophones.]

I want to put in my two cents on this whole writer’s strike business. For those of you who eschew “entertainment news” (one of my favorite oxymorons), the people who get paid to write the scripts, jokes, etc., for TV and movies have gone on strike. They want their union contract to include compensation for digitally delivered media. That is, they want a piece of the pie when their work is enjoyed via the internet.

I think the writers should not give in. Anyone whose “work” is of a creative nature knows how important it is to make sure you get compensated for it. It’s very similar to the “intellectual property” issues that software developers struggle with.

Besides, who really loses here? The studios treat just about everyone like dirt. The egomaniacs that produce and distribute our entertainment think that everyone should bow before their mighty power to… to what? What exactly is the value of big studio production? So they have money. It takes lots of money to make a “big picture”. Why? Why do the studios need so much money to produce a movie when, clearly, the studios don’t want to pay the people to actually make the movie. It’s a circular argument, really.

There are a number of articles online right now that show just how callused and cold these studio execs really are. Michael Eisner (of Disney fame) called the strike “stupid” and “a waste of time.” How’s that for belittling a cause?

Producers explicitly blamed the writers for all this hubbub saying that they refused to “compromise on their major demands.” Well isn’t that the point of major demands? Why did the headline not read that the studios wouldn’t compromise, because that’s equally true. The studios even went so far as to make secret, closed-door deals with the writers and then back out of those deals.

So, I say: Writers, stand your ground! Don’t let those jerks push you around. If they don’t think you’re worth a few extra bucks, see how well they can write their own darn scripts!

(Continue reading Part II)

The afore mentioned cracked DVD from NetFlix was Star Wars III, which I ended up buying so we could watch it.

It got me in a Star Wars kind of mood, which led me to this hilarious mash-up of every James Earl Jones movie ever made. There is some PG-13 language in it. You have been warned. I only wish I had the hours and hours of free time it would take to do something so creative and fun.

Vader Goes Nuts Video

My favorite part is right at the end when Vader can’t find anything good on the radio.

This weekend, we got our first damaged, unplayable DVD from NetFlix. That’s pretty good. Out of a couple dozen DVDs sent to us in unprotected paper envelopes, only one has showed up cracked. I’ve also watched several movies online and watched all of the available episodes of “The Office”, both Brit and Yank. I’d have to say, I really like NetFlix.

It got me thinking. How do you get your movie fix? C’mon all you lurkers out there. I want to see some votes from people other than Ghosty and David. I’ve seen the logs. I know you’re there. Speak up!

(Intercepting your comments ahead of time:) Yes, Ghosty and David. You can still vote too.