The sum of the intelligence on the planet is a constant. The population is growing.
– Cole’s Axiom

Oh… That explains a lot.

The MSM today picked up on the story about Bronco Bomber’s racist church pastor. It’s odd to me that this is hitting the presses now when the blogosphere beat this horse to death months ago.

Could it be that this story was pushed to the forefront by mysterious forces loyal to Hillary’s dying-a-slow-death campaign? Hmm. It only makes sense after getting her butt kicked in Mississippi and finding out that, despite the pep-rally, she actually lost Texas. This should give her a small boost in the polls, but I can’t imagine it will be enough to sway average Joe voters.

On the other hand, if pollsters are able to push this issue and get enough pro-Hillary pseudo-numbers into the press, it could stoke the fire for (or at least give an excuse for) the “super delegates” to back her at the national convention.

Consider this my virtual casserole dish welcoming Dave Matthews to the neighborhood. No, not the band, the real Dave Matthews.

Dave has long been a commenter on my site and a friend. I’ve made many suggestions that he get his own place to share his weird wit. (I don’t mean that in a, “Get your own blog and stay off of mine,” kind of way. Honest!) So, he finally took the plunge as created
Dave’s Strange and Unusual World over on WordPress.

Welcome, Dave!

Next week is Glenview’s 2nd annual mission to New Orleans. This year I, along with about 120 other church members, will be rebuilding the city. Last year we split our forces between demolition of ruined houses and building new ones. This year the demolition is pretty much done, so we’ll all be building.

The reason I mention this is that I am really out of shape and it concerns me. I haven’t been on my bike since last Fall. It’s been longer than that since my last real rock climbing. I’m worried that five straight days of hoisting sheet rock is going to kick my butt. But it’s too late now to do any strength training.

That brings me to this week’s white board quip. It’s from a Twitter post that my friend Dave wrote.

Started doing yoga last night… Way more grunting and farting than anticipated.

I’ve never done yoga, but I have so been there and done that!

Almost every Christmas and Easter, when my church puts on our holiday shows, I get made fun of for the fact that I can’t grow a beard. I end up either playing Pontius Pilot or just looking stupid with stage-make-up stubble.

But when push comes to shove (or steel comes to face) I get the last laugh.

I shave religiously every Tuesday and Friday using a 20¢ Bic disposable and water. No cream, no soap, no fancy expensive blade. And the result is a baby smooth face with no rash or burning or cuts.

Challenge my manhood if you will, but my face feels great!

For the rest of you, my buddy Dave wrote a blog post about his luxurious shaving style.

Construction has picked up in the office space next door. Today the noise has reached a new high point.

After I tweeted about it, I didn’t feel I had achieved the catharsis I was looking for, so I got out my Treo cell phone and recorded the sound in my office. Remember that the microphone on my cell phone is designed to pick up a nice loud voice an inch away, so what you are about to hear is much quieter than the actual noise level. You can just barely hear the Spanish crooning in the first few seconds, while I can hear every lovely word of it.

Clicky clicky to get the MP3 sound file.

Last night, DFW got a light dusting of snow. Of course, by morning it was little more than some frosting on the grass, but did actually see snow flakes falling. *sigh* I miss the mountains.

Anyway, I promised you a white board quip so here it is.

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?

In Dallas, he drives 90 MPH just like everyone else. And if he actually encounters any icy bridges… he dies just like everyone else.

The title of this post does not mean that I am having digestive problems. Rather it is that the internet connection at the office today is not behaving as expected. My trillian chat client has been beeping and bopping incessantly as my connections to MSN and Yahoo go up and down. Surfing is impossible as pages will partially load, or not load at all.

*sigh* Has my life grown so shallow that I can’t survive without watching the latest video or reading the latest web comic?

Yes. Yes it has.

Now leave me alone. You’ll get your white board quip tomorrow. In the mean time, I’ve got many many web sites to continually refresh as I attempt to get my fix.

Even though I’ve been really busy the last few … well … months, I have been watching a lot of movies thanks to NetFlix’s new policy on viewing movies via the web. (It’s virtually free!)

That said, I’m waaay behind on my movie reviews. So here goes.

Now I hope you’ll forgive me for the fact that most of what I’ve watched is older than I am. I’ve enjoyed catching up on the classics. By the way, if you haven’t read about my grin rating system, click to check it out.

Soylent Green
This one is the real thing. Good ol’ cold-war, post-apocalyptic, dystopian entertainment. And Charlton Heston to boot! This one is a must see, right up there with “Planet of the Apes” and “The Day the Earth Stood Still”.

And speaking of…

The Day the Earth Stood Still
Lacks the big name stars but more than makes up for it in importance. There’s something important about this movie. You can feel it when you watch it.

The Omega Man
I’m eager to see “I Am Legend”. When I heard it was a remake (imagine my un-surprise) of yet another Charlton Heston dystopian flick, I had to check it out! It’s no Soylent Green, but it’s worth watching.

Oh God!
I remember this movie from when I was just a kid. I remember thinking how funny it was to have God portrayed as a tiny, little, old man. As an adult, I still think it’s funny, just not “ha ha” funny. More like “how sad” funny.

Harvey
This quirky little show stars Hollywood’s quirkiest leading man in, most likely, his quirkiest role. Jimmy Stewart shows us that some of the most insane people in the world may actually have a better grasp on reality than most of the sane people that ever lived.

Fahrenheit 451
I dabbled in Ray Bradbury’s work (among others) in high school. I remember it gave me that important feeling you get when you think you “get it”. I’m sure thousands of people got that feeling from Bradbury and Orwell and Huxley and Emerson and Whitman and Thoreau. I’m just grateful that kept on going. I grew beyond non-conformity and transcendentalism and all that bull and learned that life is a lot easier to live when you live in reality. (Even if that requires a little bit of nuttiness a la the above mentioned Harvey.)

Being There
We watched this movie in Honors English class my senior year. (Yes, that’s about the same time I thought I “got it” mentioned above.) All I could remember was that it was really weird. I remember right. It’s entertaining, but only if you have as weird a sense of humor as I do. Think of it as the Nixon era’s “Napoleon Dynamite”.

Frankenstein
Yes, the Frankenstein. 1931. When the horror movie genre was just coming of age. What a great show. Sure it’s campy to our 21st century eyes, but if you look at it in its own era, this movie was brilliance defined.

Bride of Frankenstein
Then again, isn’t it funny that no sooner had horror movies been weened that they started making bad sequels? Ah well. Kids will be kids.

The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari
Well, if I’m going to go back to the father of the genre, I might as well check out the great-grand-father while I’m there. Not only is this a silent movie (from 1920) it’s a foreign silent movie (from germany). Now tell me I’m not all dripping with culture! I actually enjoyed this more than “Bride of Frankenstein”!!

Believe it or not there are more, but it’s getting late and this post is far too long. I’ll try not to wait so long before my next movie review post. I’ll try.

A wise man once said:

Ask not what your country can do for you.
Ask how much you will be forced to pay (under threat of imprisonment) for the things your country does for other people… lazy people who don’t have enough money to pay taxes.

That might not be exactly what he said, but it’s a rough paraphrase. And, in case you’re wondering, that wise man was a Democrat.