It’s Friday night. Tammy and I made a spontaneous trip to Six Flags after work and rode the newly redesigned Texas Giant.

First, let me say that it’s been over 2 years since we rode the Giant. It was just too rough. Painful. No fun anymore. But the new steel redesign is freakishly smooth and quiet.

Usually, for a “hang time” ride, like most woodies, you want to ride in the back for the faster, negative-G drops. But for a fast, smooth, super coaster, you want to ride in the front for the better view.

We road in the front first. It was fun, fast, and the “over 90 degree” turns were really cool. But it wasn’t “the best ride ever.”  The line was short (30 minutes) so we rode again, this time in the back. OH EM GEEEEE! What a difference. It was a completely different ride. It was OH-Mazing. The “hang time” was off the charts. I usually scream my roller coaster scream (Tammy says I sound like a girl. Pshaw.) But on this ride, I was going back and forth between gasping, “Holy crap!” (Yes, I’m sorry, chil’ren. I cussed.) on the huge negative-G drops, and laughing so hard I couldn’t breath. It RAWKED.

I’m not sure if it’s better than Mr. Freeze (my all-time favorite ride), but it’s dang close.

Rapper, poet, Christian, Jason Petty (a.k.a. Propaganda) spells it out. Share this!!

My favorite part is where he says our good works are like spraying cologne on a corpse.

Amazing! Stupendous! Why didn’t someone think of this sooner?!

The best new product of 2011 is…

[Drum roll]

2-D Glasses!!

Yes, now you too can enjoy all the latest action block-busters and animated hilarity that Hollywood can throw at you even though they insist on releasing said hilarious busters in [dramatically evil reverb voice] evil 3D.

Yes, I’m being completely serious. Hank of the VlogBrothers has actually conceived and brought to market 2D glasses that allow you to watch 3D movies without the headaches and vertigo! Seriously!

Check it out: http://www.2d-glasses.com

Take that, Hollywood!

I love Weird Al. And his polka cover songs are the stuff of legend. The song here mashed up with a My Little Pony cartoon is one of my favorites. I have multiple ring tones on my phone that are shamelessly ripped from this polka cover. For that reason, whenever I hear this one, I instinctively reach for my phone.

And as if Weird Al’s polka’s weren’t enough, this mashup is really, truly, masterfully well done!

When I first saw the latest viral video, the baby conversation, I immediately thought, “It would be really entertaining if someone came up with humorous subtitles. That would really slay the viewers with laughteritude.”

Then, I saw the same video on *every* morning news program and *several* evening news programs. When I checked back on YouTube, it had over 4 million views! Then I thought, “Wow. If *I* did that clever subtitle video response, *I* might have a semi-viral video.”

Filled with mad dreams of psuedo-fame, I set myself to produce said chuckleriffic response. After about an hour, I posted the result and sat back to wait for the spotlight of celebrity… which didn’t really happen. Bummer.

But, I can say that Twin baby boys (What were they saying?) is now my first video to break 1000 views! Cool! I have a kilo-view!

P.S. See how clever I am there? Putting a link to the video right there in my post about wishing the video had more views. Yep. I got mad interweb skilz.

Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, “Don’t do it!”
He said, “Nobody loves me.”
I said, “God loves you. Do you believe in God?”
He said, “Yes.”
I said, “Are you a Christian or a Jew?”
He said, “A Christian.”
I said, “Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?”
He said, “Protestant.”
I said, “Me, too! What franchise?”
He said, “Baptist.”
I said, “Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?”
He said, “Northern Baptist.”
I said, “Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?”
He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist.”
I said, “Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?”
He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region.”
I said, “Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?”
He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912.”
I said, “Die, heretic!” And I pushed him over.

[ed. Long live Emo Phillips!]

I shouldn’t have to remind you of my geekness. It should go without saying that I’m one of those guys who really loved TRON back in the 80’s. I actually owned a TRON action figure and a light-cycle! And I loved it despite the weak story line, the laughable (even for the 80’s) black-light special effects, and the critical and box office beatings it took. But, guess what. Geeks like me are in charge now. Take that you sappy, 80’s, Hollywood establishment that tried ever so hard to keep sci-fi geeks in the corner for years before finally making a fortune from us. Yeah. So there. (Hrmm.)

Anyway, my wonderful and loving wife does recognize my geekness and as such volunteered to suffer through TRON’s reboot with me on opening night. There was no long line of guys in throw-back costumes made of Under Armor and Christmas lights (thank God), but the theater was full of pudgy 30-something nerds who gushed and pumped their thumb-tucked fists every time some homage was paid to the original (which was about every five minutes).

Much like the original, the story line is not going to win any praise. There’s some attempt in the preamble to set up the back story, but it’s executed about as well as a middle school creative writing essay.

Also in the first five minutes, we are introduced to George Lucas’ dream of live-action CGI characters with a 1982 rendering of Jeff Bridges playing opposite a very human 10-year-old. Ten years ago, I would have been completely blown away by it, but here in post-Avatar 2010, it’s just not ready for prime time. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a technological marvel, but as my computer animation professor taught me back in the mid-90’s, CGI can not compete with reality because your viewers have had their whole life to learn how a human looks and moves. This is why motion capture CGI looks “right” when fully animated CGI looks like a cartoon. In this case, the CGI Bridges was more of a distraction than a stand-in actor with clever editing would have been.

Obviously, the real bread and butter of any movie in this genre is the action, and this movie nails it. The disc battles, the light-cycle duels, even some nifty, Matrix-esque, hand-to-hand combat all comes off great, if a little over the top.

And, naturally, there is the hot girl in tights who can kick butt, which also was pretty well done. Rest assured, the next ComiCon will be flooded with TRON girls sporting their glowing jumpsuits and crooked hair. Several times during the movie, I thought, “Aw jeez. That whole ‘my stylist was high on coke at my last appointment’ page-boy-with-crooked-bangs look is really going to catch on, isn’t it?”

There’s something else this movie has that seems have become a requirement for the genre. A sequel. Now, I don’t have any Hollywood insider news, but there were so many intentionally loose ends in this script, they may as well have set up a booth in the lobby to sell tickets to the sequel. And, if I’m honest, I’d probably buy a pair.

To me, though, the weakest point of the whole film is Jeff Bridges. And seeing how he is two main characters and the strongest tie-back to the original, that’s pretty bad. The aforementioned CGI face aside, the performance just wasn’t convincing. The “old guy” Bridges seems to be shooting for that wise, old, Obi-Wan character, but he completely misses it and comes off more like the Big Lebowski on Medicare. He’s got this whole “touch the sky,” Hindu thing going, and actually says, “Dude,” enough times that I fully expected to see John Goodman pull up in an beat-up Torino and smashing stuff with a crowbar.

So, to the real question I must answer for this to be as titled: a review. Is it good? Well, kinda. It’s a fun ride, stuffed with nostalgia. It’s pretty brainless and completely predictable. But if you’re in the mood for some good ol’ geek fun, yeah, you should see it. In other words, 3 grins.

When we lived in Colorado, there was a squirrel that lived in our yard. His name was “Slappy.” He was remarkably bold, often meeting me on the porch, standing tall and “tough.” He ate our jack o’lanterns and made a huge ruckus when any other squirrel came into the yard.

I never tried to challenge Slappy’s authority. I also never tried to challenge his ingenuity nor his diligence, but maybe I should have. The guy who made the video below must have spent many many hours trying to outwit his squirrel. But the squirrel always wins.

Hopefully, you haven’t seen too many previews for Megamind. I managed to avoid most of them. And as such, all but a couple of the gags were really funny and the various plot twists were actually surprising. I can’t say the script completely avoids predictability. It is Hollywood, after all. But it is thoroughly enjoyable.

Megamind is your classic turn-the-stereotypes-upside-down tale that Shrek (you know, the good one, before it became a pathetic franchise) set the bar for. Whoever was in charge of casting on this show deserves every award they can get. The “hero” is a gag-me-sweet, suave media darling. (Brad Pitt… Heck ya!) The “damsel in distress” is a wry, sarcastic wise-cracker. (Tina Fey… Nailed it!) And the “villain” is a cutely naive klutz with a crush. (Will Ferrell… Have you seen Elf?!)

A movie poster containing both “Dreamworks” and “Will Ferrell” may have you concerned. You don’t want your kids repeating the same fart jokes for the next month. (Ahem… Shrek.) But not to fear. The humor manages to avoid the bathroom (mostly). It’s smart enough to entertain the grown ups and silly enough to keep the kids rolling. There are several pop-culture gags that the kids probably won’t even catch. (Keep eye out for the original Donkey Kong.) And most importantly, it really is just darned cute. The character animation for Ferrell’s Megamind is brilliant. For a guy with a giant, blue head; he really can warm your heart.

Long story short, see this movie! Take your kids! You will love it!! It easily earns these four grins.