Directions:
Put your music player on shuffle. Press forward for each question. Use the song title as the answer to the question. No cheating. Put yes or no if the answer is right or wrong.

How am I feeling today?

Away From You – O.C. Supertones

Heh. Kinda like I need some alone time? Not really, but it’s a funny answer.

Will I get far in life?

Adonai – O.C. Supertones

I’ll get exactly as far as God leads me. Good answer.

How do my friends see me?

Cool Enough For You – Five Iron Frenzy

LOL!

When will I get married?

Numb – U2

I have no idea what that means.

What’s my theme song?

Bad – U2

Aww. I’m not that bad.

What is the story of my life?

Van Diemen’s Land – U2

Swing and a miss.

How can I get ahead in life?

Vultures – Five Iron Frenzy

Well, if you don’t mind eating rotting carcasses and trash, you sure could save a lot of money!

What is my best feature?

Star Spangled Banner – U2

Umm… *shrug*

How is today going to be?

Where the Streets Have No Name – U2

Yeah, that didn’t really work, did it?

What is in store for this weekend?

She Moves in Mysterious Ways – U2

Ooh Laa Laa! (BTW We are going camping this weekend.)

What is my life like at the moment?

Helter Skelter – U2

You know it, brother!

What song describes my secrets?

It’s So Hot – Five Iron Frenzy

Ooh, wouldn’t you like to know.

What is my current lover like?

One Girl Army – Five Iron Frenzy

Heck yeah she is!

What song will they play at my funeral?

Gloria – U2

That’d be nice. A little Gregorian chant sung to driving rock. Sweet.

How does the world see me?

Running to Stand Still – U2

Does that hit the nail on the head or what?!

Will I have a happy life?

Peace On Earth – U2

Peace is much more important than happiness.

What do my friends really think of me?

Trash, Trampoline and the Party Girl – U2

Wow. Do you guys really think I’m a party GIRL?!

Do people secretly lust after me?

Canada – Five Iron Frenzy

Gee! The whole country lusts after me? Well, I can see that. I am smokin’ hot.

Will I accomplish my goals in life?

Attitude – O.C. Supertones

I’m not sure that makes sense.

Will I find true love?

Hold on the Jesus – O.C. Supertones

Nice!

How do I treat others?

With Or Without You – U2

“I can’t live with or without you.” Hmm. No, I don’t think I treat anybody that way.

Disclaimer: I did this twice because the first time, only about two answers made sense. Maybe I am bad after all.

I got this from one of our kids’ blogs. Hope you don’t mind, Michelle.

Last weekend Tammy and I celebrated our 7th anniversary. (We got married on the 22nd but last weekend was the best time for us to get away.) It has been somewhat of a tradition since we moved to DFW to spend our anniversary at St. Botolph Inn in Weatherford. It’s a really nice place and they have two rooms that feature a full-sized hot tub in the room.

That night we were cruising Weatherford for a nice, romantic place to eat. We found a quaint looking Italian place. Inside we were reminded why we will never live in a small town again.

I’ve never experienced red-neck Italian before. On the walls I saw a framed poster of Venice at night (like you might find at Hobby Lobby), a watercolor painting of a palm tree on a beach (probably a school art project), and two paintings of cowboys and cattle, framed in old barn wood and barbed wire. The front of the menu had the name of the restaurant in a script font and, twice as big as the name and in bold letters, “BYOB”. (I swear I am not making this up.) I said to Tammy, “That just means they don’t have their liquor license yet, so they can’t serve wine.” The words were barely out of my mouth when three couples were seated at the table across from ours. One of them was carrying a beer can in a “koosie” and another was carrying an old Igloo cooler. The only thing missing was a camouflaged, John Deere hat and a Dale Earnheart Jr. jacket.

The food was actually pretty good and the ruckus party with the Igloo made for some good entertainment.

After a wonderful evening and morning at the bed and breakfast, we headed back to the big city and had some real fine Italian cuisine… Olive Garden.

I’ve been drooling over motorcycles again, and as usual, my friends have been absolutely no help. I know that I am not in the position to buy a bike, but as soon as one of them catches me looking at CycleTrader.com, they all try to talk me into it. Can’t a guy dream in peace?!

The main debating point I get is, “Think about how much you’ll save on gas!” So, I did. I put on my geek hat and figured it out. Once I had the formula, I figured I might as well share it. Now you too can figure out how much you spend on gas!

First what are the known values?

miles/gallon for your vehicle
miles/week you drive your vehicle
dollars/gallon you spend on average

Now, build the formula using unit algebra.

dollars/year = dollars/gallon X gallons/mile X miles/week X weeks/year

For my explorer I have the following values.

13 miles/gallon
100 miles/week
2.90 dollars/gallon

Which yields:

2.9 dollars/gallon
1/13 gallons/mile
100 miles/week
52 weeks/year
---------------
$1160/year

Not to bad, relatively speaking. Now take from that the fact that I can ride my bicycle about two months out of the year (more if I don’t mind my office smelling like a gorilla cage) and the fact that a motorcycle is going to get about 50 miles per gallon with all other numbers the same and here’s what you get.

Explorer + Bicycle
2.9 dollars/gallon
1/13 gallons/mile
100 miles/week
44 weeks/year
---------------
$981/year

Motorcycle + Bicycle
2.9 dollars/gallon
1/50 gallons/mile
100 miles/week
44 weeks/year
---------------
$255/year

So I would save $726/year and it would take about five years to save enough money to offset the price of the motorcycle, riding gear, insurance, license, etc. And that does not take into account all the weeks I would drive my explorer anyway because I’d need to haul something (taking a box to UPS, dry cleaning, bringing a PC home from the office, etc.) or because of bad weather.

I think that’s a pretty good argument against buying a motorcycle right now … but I still want one. *wink*

When you were born, who was on the cover of…

Time Magazine? Richard Nixon, “The Push to Impeach”.

Sports Illustrated? College football, “Notre Dame Stacks Up USC”.

Esquire? John F. Kennedy eating ice cream, “Trying to remember J.F.K.”.

Rolling Stone? Daniel Ellsburg (Some antiwar-pinko-liberal who contributed to the downfall of Nixon. Ellsburg is still around, now trying to bring about the fall of Bush.)

TVGuide? A collage, Bob Hope, Julie Andrews, Sammy Davis Jr., Elvis and more.

National Lampoon? A soap box derby kid on fire, “Sports”.

Mad Magazine? Alfred E. Newman (duh!) building a sand castle.

I stole this idea from a blog I frequent, but don’t link to. (She’s a brilliant, gun-toting, conservative Christian, but she has a poo-poo mouth not suitable for my kiddie readers.) If you ask me nice, I might send you the link.

The “Spring Musical” is in full swing. Last night was the first musical run-through with the choir and orchestra. Tonight, will be a full run-through (with dialog and songs).

When I auditioned for the musical this year, I resolved not to complain about it. During previous Christmas and Easter musicals, I have moaned and groaned about spending hours and hours at the church. Not this time.

This is a ministry which is to say I am offering my time to God and I am a firm believer that God does not accept a begrudged offering. Yes, we have spent an average of five nights a week at the church. Yes, I am tired. But if I want God to bless this production and bless people through it, I need to grow up a little and tough it out. I hope I’ve done a better job this time around.

Oh! And I’m not sure I mentioned this, but this will be the first time (since a Christmas pageant in 2nd grade) that I am singing a solo on stage. Scary! I get lots of encouragement from the choir and cast, but I’m still really nervous about it. Fear is foreign to me. I’m usually not afraid of anything other than physical pain. In fact, I’m usually not afraid to belt out a tune, but those are always Dr. Demento tunes and intended to make people laugh. This is totally different.

Oone last thing. Since I am playing a member of the Sanhedrin (Jewish high council) I am expected to grow a beard. HA! I’ll post pictures soon. It’s really pathetic.

What were you doing five years ago?
In March 2001 I had just gotten laid off from my first ‘real’ job after college, Insurance Technologies. They blamed the tech stock crash.

Five snacks I enjoy:
Cheetoes
Chili-cheese Fritos
Gorp (Good Old Raisins and Peanuts)
Nerds (Grape and Strawberry)
Butterfinger

Five songs to which I know all the lyrics:
“With or Without You” by U2
“I Love Rocky Road” by Weird Al Yankovic
“Flood” by Jars of Clay
“So Happy Together” by The Turtles
“Amazing Grace” verses 1, 2, and 4 *wink*

Five things I’d do if I were a millionaire:
Give a chunk to the church
Pay off my debt
Pay off my parents’ debt
Buy a house
Buy a car with cash in a metal brief case (and demand a retardedly low price)

Five bad habits:
Procrastination
Laziness
Surfing too much
Vocal ticks (from mild Tourette)
Snoring

Five things I like doing:
Loving on my angel, Tammy
Mountain Biking
Rock Climbing
PC Gaming (Strategy and MMORPG)
Eating

Five things I would never wear or buy:
A Macintosh
A suit
Shorts that go past my knees
A pet (cat, dog, fish, or otherwise)
Flip-flops (I own a pair, but they’re only for wearing in locker room showers.)

Five favorite toys:
Mountain bike
Computer
Climbing wall in my garage
Gameboy Advanced
Camera

I met with Dr. Kwong again this morning. More x-rays, more poking, yada yada yada. My elbow (technically the head of my right radius) is still broken. This time I could actually see the break on the x-rays.

The doc is concerned at my limited range of motion, so he’s banned me from wearing the sling. That’s a good thing because the sling was a real pain in the butt, but a not so good thing because moving my arm around is an even bigger pain … in the arm!

Probably the biggest benefit of getting me out of the sling is the effect it has on me mentally. I need to stop babying my arm so much. Yes, it’s still broken. Yes, there are limits to what I can do. But with my wing untied, I can quit worrying about it so much and get back to using it.

I will be starting physical therapy this week and that should help a lot. For now, I just need to get over the pain and get the muscles, et al, back to work. Dr. Kwong says I shouldn’t twist (like turning a key or door knob) nor lift anything heavier than half a pound (My arm weighs at least five pounds, so I’m not sure how that works.) but I need to work towards straightening my elbow completely. Right now, it just won’t go.

Thanks to everyone for continued thoughts and prayers.

(Note: It took me about an hour just to type this post. Please read it slowly. *wink*)

I’m slowly learning to type again. If I rest my gimpy arm on the desk, I can use my right hand a little, but not like normal. The worst thing is that I can’t reach the backspace key. I have to reach over with my left hand about every ten key strokes. But this is much better than pecking around with my left hand alone.

Since my last post was dictated through a Vicodin induced haze, I suppose I’ll give it another try.

Last Thursday, I was on my way home from work, commuting on my mountain bike. I was making good time with a slight tail wind and carrying more speed than usual. As I approached the last major intersection before reaching home, I wanted to preserve my momentum. I usually take the sidewalk up to this light, as there is no room between the curb and the cars. But the sidewalk there zigs and zags around some drainage canals and would have killed my speed. And it just happened that the light was green and there was a break in the traffic. So, I zoomed down a driveway and used the asphalt. When I got close to the right-turn lane, I looked over my shoulder to ensure no cars had snuck up that would be turning. While my head was turned, I hit a ridge between the asphalt and the concrete of the turn lane. Before I could blink, my bike shot out from under me. My hands were still on the handle bars when I hit the ground. I estimate I was going about 20 miles per hour when I hit the ground.

I landed hard on my right hip, shoulder, and elbow. The next thing I remember was the dazzling numbness in my right hand (like the worst funny bone hit ever) and the sound of my helmet sliding across the concrete.

I got up quickly, worried about the traffic, and threw my bike into the grass. I couldn’t breathe for a few seconds. I took stock of all of my fingers, and my left wrist, elbow and shoulder worked fine. My right arm was unresponsive. I figured it had just been numbed by the impact. Using me left hand, I worked my right wrist around and rotated my right shoulder. I tried to move my right elbow back and forth. It was not rigid, but was too painful to move more than a little bit.

I unslung my back pack and found the outer pockets had shredded. My cell phone was banged up pretty bad, but it powered back up fine. I called Tammy to come get me then sat down to take a closer look at things. I had to use my camera phone to get a good look at the road rash on my right elbow, since I couldn’t turn my arm enough to see it. My helmet was “warrantied”. (Trek offers to replace a crashed helmet if you send it in to them with an explanation of the crash*.) Other than some scrapes and an out-of-place chain, my bike was fine.

While waiting in the ER (arrived at 7:00, departed at mid-night), I was not in much pain, but started having muscle spasms. My right arm would jolt followed by blinding pain. I think they moved me up the list to avoid having a grown man in the waiting room screaming like a little girl every few minutes.

They gave me some Vicodin and a bed. About an hour later, I headed for radiology. Manipulating my arm for the x-rays produced a lot more girlish screams. Another hour later, the doctor came in, poked it a couple of times, signed a prescription and left. After a tetanus shot, I was on my way home. I was told I’d cracked the head of my radius bone. In layman’s terms, I broke my elbow.

Friday was spent on the couch in a stupor, which was interrupted every hour or so by another wrenching spasm. Not my best Saint Patrick’s day. Saturday, I was still pretty drunk and had to miss Katie’s birthday party. (I was bummed about that. They did a photo scavenger hunt at the mall.) Sunday, I got tired of living like a zombie, so I quit taking the Vicodin. I missed church, but mustered the strength to go to a rehearsal for the Spring musical. Monday I was back to work (although in a much reduced capacity).

This morning, I went to see Dr. Kwong (who rebuilt Tammy’s ankle). He poked around a little and asked me to straighten my arm. Har har. Then he administered some kind of pain killer directly into my elbow joint with a sharpened McDonald’s straw. (No kidding! You could easily slurped a McFlurry through that thing.) It did the job though, and I was able to straighten my arm for the x-rays. My shoulder is fine. Maybe a little sprained. My radius is cracked, although I couldn’t really see it on the films. I’m to keep it “mostly immobile” in the sling for a week. Then more x-rays. He also prescribed some less potent pain meds. So hopefully I can be pain free without being brain free.

That’s about as detailed as I can get without getting fired for taking a three hour lunch.

*Some limits apply.

(Special thanks to my ghostwriter Tammy. I love you!)

If you have ever been hurt before you know how tired you get from telling the same story over and over. “What happen to you?”, “How did you get hurt?”.

So to avoid that I am going to post here what happened to me and how I did that. If you see me you will notice my right arm is in a sling. And you might notice some road rash here and there. Well you see I was riding in the Tour de France and I was just about to pass Lance Armstrong when that little Austin cheat knocked me over…What?! You don’t believe me..Ok. Ok. There was this alligator…No? Ok. I was flying an airplane and…

All right I’ll be honest I fell off my bicycle (and it had nothing to do with Lance Armstrong). I was on my way home from work and I fell over. There! Are you happy now?

After hours at the ER and lot of girlish screaming we found out I have cracked the head of my radius bone in my right forearm. Everything else is fine. Thanks for your concern and prayers. You can send flowers or cash donations to… Whoa… Hold on… My medicine is starting to… Wheeee!!

P.S. (From Tammy) You think my husband is weird? You should see him on muscle relaxers.

Some of you may know that my wife, Tammy, has been looking for a new job for several months. She worked for a company that imported, warehoused, and wholesaled clothing accessories (socks, hats, belts, etc.) to big name retailers like JC Penny and Wal-Mart. It was a neat job, but it was stressful, much too far from our new apartment, and the hours were awful. (Tammy had to leave the house before 6AM.)

As usual, God not only had the right job waiting, He revealed it at the perfect time. After a performance of our Christmas musical at the church, Tammy and I saw some old friends in the audience. We went down to talk to them and the conversation turned to Tammy’s job search. Tammy, being the persistent optimist that she is, asked the, “Wanna give me a job?” (She said this of everyone who asked about her job situation for months.) This time, the answer was not a chuckle and “I wish I could.” Instead, the response was a thoughtful look and silence. *perk*

Stan Preece and his wife Karen have been friends for about three years. Stan is a pediatric dentist and Karen manages his office. They were, at Christmas time, finalizing plans to build a new office and move out of their current digs which were shared with other doctors and very over crowded. “Let me talk to Stan about that,” sounded like the “Halleluiah Chorus” in my ears.

Three months later, things are coming to pass. There have been three rounds of layoffs at Tammy’s old job. The only reason she survived is because she had already given notice that she was leaving. (God-Thang #1) The new dental office is just a few weeks from opening, and Tammy has been training at the “old office” for a couple of weeks now. Originally, she was slated to work the front desk, taking appointments and handling records. Not as glamorous as her previous job, but closer, better hours, and a much better environment. Plus her pay rate would be about the same. (God-Thang #2) Within a week of training, she was coming home with stories of taking X-rays and soldering crowns; not the kind of thing a desk jockey would need to learn. We got formal notice this morning that Tammy “picked up on things so quick” that they decided to make her a dental assistant! How many people do you know who get a promotion after a week on the job? (God-Thang #3)

I can’t tell you how proud I am of my bride. (Bride-Pride?) Way to go, Tammy! I love you.